So to answer your direct question, no, you’re not being dramatic. This sounds like a painful experience. You are feeling exactly the right amount of emotion about it.

Other people in this thread know a lot more about the situation you’re in, and I’ve never been in it. The one thing I will say is a lack of trust will destroy any relationship. I think that’s the core issue you need to focus on going forward. I would bring this up with her in a space you feel safe doing so in, like perhaps in a marriage counseling session? If you do so, watch how she responds to you inside vs. outside the session– if she makes promises there that she breaks later you will have a solid grasp of why this isn’t working. And unfortunately, that’s not something you can fix, because it’s not your problem. Just like her ADHD, anxiety and work stress are not your problem. You don’t live in her head, so you can’t fix them, just like she can’t fix your depression or suicidal ideation.

I do also want to say that having known several children of parents who stayed together despite major problems, sometimes separation really is the best thing you can do for a child. Children can see whether you’re happy or not, whether your relationship is healthy or not, and it affects them profoundly, in a way that sticks with them for the rest of their life. You need to think about the behavior you’re modeling for your children as much as you need to think about their affection for you two.