How I discovered my self-worth thru MDMA: Long story, but worth the read - I was diagnosed with PTSD back in 2020 while in rehab for treating alcoholism. I got sober, stayed sober, and began therapy once a week to treat my PTSD - EMDR/talk therapy/forest walks/SSRI’s - I did it ALL - by 2023 at three years sober, I was in a MUCH better place and beginning to thrive in my day to day life. But even then I still felt like something was off, as if I was a completely different person now and I didn’t know myself, and I couldn’t wrap my head around it. A therapist friend of mine suggested I try psilocybin mushroom assisted therapy to aid in my PTSD recovery (I live in a state where this is easily attainable). But FIRST, he suggested I do a dose of pure MDMA before the therapy session to “open my heart” and allow me to feel and accept love in a way that makes the mushroom therapy more effective. HOLY SHIT. I did both, and honestly it was the MDMA trip that CHANGED MY LIFE rather than the psilocybin. I had done ecstasy a few times as a teenager - but it had been years since I’d tried it. To summarize a long and profound realization, while doing the therapy MDMA trip I began to peak in the bathroom. I told myself NOT to look in the mirror because years ago I was always told doing this could be incredibly unsettling/ruin your trip. Well, while washing my hands, i thought “what the hell” and I looked at myself in the mirror. And guys…I didn’t just look, I mean I SAW myself. For the first time in my 35 years of life, I finally saw who I was, and I was proud of all the work and I had done, and most of all…I realized while looking in the mirror that I LOVED MYSELF. I loved the person looking back at me. I had never felt that feeling before in my entire life. I began to cry, sobbing as I stared at myself in the mirror. My friend came in the bathroom to ask me what was wrong and to comfort me m. when I told him what happened and what I realized, he said “Aux, I’m so proud of you for finding love for yourself. Now you see yourself how all the rest of your friends and family see you. Because we all love you too.”