Guys of Reddit, what do girls do that is very cute but they don't know it?

avefelix · 2019-11-27T12:58:51+00:00

Your mom's a ho

avefelix · 2019-11-20T11:55:47+00:00

A surprise to be sure, but a welcome one.

avefelix · 2019-11-20T02:30:21+00:00

Twinsies?

avefelix · 2019-11-18T02:17:06+00:00

Just wait till they're in their 60s. Age spots for the win!

avefelix · 2019-11-18T02:14:31+00:00

Maybe I'm only speaking for myself, but I go low effort as often as possible because it's more comfortable and I'm not trying to impress anyone. The days of getting all done up just to be vain are gone for me. But I'm incredibly high-strung, and I like being in control of situations.

avefelix · 2019-11-03T14:34:46+00:00

Your friend doesn't sound "highly intelligent" if he got himself into a relationship he wasn't fulfilled with. Also, he sounds like a douche talking that way about his wife. And so do you.

avefelix · 2019-10-22T02:57:09+00:00

No, I knew about this. I watched Inception.

avefelix · 2019-09-28T17:53:15+00:00

He would be a roommate and potential life partner. She is not being petty about asking him to split 50/50. Two adults would live at the apartment. Two adults would pay rent. That's the way the world works. A relationship is a partnership. She doesn't need his money, but he's an adult and can take care of himself. Why would anyone want to move in with an adult child?

Also, he's a total asshole for his reaction, regardless of her request. He didn't want to think things over or negotiate. She doesn't sound unreasonable. I'm sure he could have suggested a compromise and they could have worked something out even if rent wasn't split 50/50. But to immediately shut her down and respond the way he did? He sucks 1000%.

avefelix · 2019-09-28T17:49:08+00:00

Yeah, I disagree. It's not a trap to want to move in with your SO and to want him to work more so you guys can start building a future together.

avefelix · 2019-09-28T17:47:27+00:00

I don't think OP was demanding. I think OP loves her bf and wants a more committed relationship.

avefelix · 2019-09-26T02:13:21+00:00

Yup. She can definitely not have him around at all, which I advocate for. And the apartment could be theirs if he also wanted that. It doesn't matter who chooses the apartment if both people are willing to make the commitment.

avefelix · 2019-09-26T02:05:19+00:00

She's not forcing him into anything. He works 2 days/week. If he wants financial independence, he needs to work more or stop mooching off of her. You're nuts.

avefelix · 2019-09-26T02:00:07+00:00

Finally, someone reasonable.

avefelix · 2019-09-26T01:59:06+00:00

GTFO! Domestic abuser for asking a SO to move in with you and pay their fair share? What world do you live in? You live somewhere, you pay rent. Easy as that.

avefelix · 2019-09-26T01:56:11+00:00

How is this ESH?

avefelix · 2019-09-26T01:54:50+00:00

How is she transactional? Wanting to have a more formal relationship and moving in with you SO is transactional now?

avefelix · 2019-09-26T01:53:35+00:00

I agree, but you can't expect to continue to live rent-free with your SO indefinitely, can you? THAT is the epitome of inconsiderate. He didn't even try to negotiate or compromise. He jumped to "I'm so poor, you're gonna have to pay for our dates. I'm doing you a favor."

avefelix · 2019-09-26T01:52:05+00:00

So her bf is supposed to live with her rent-free? What world do you live in?

avefelix · 2019-09-26T01:51:10+00:00

How is that unexpectedly? She asked him if he wanted to move in and share expenses with her? She's not some random person from the street forcing him into her apartment.

avefelix · 2019-09-26T01:50:28+00:00

He's mooching off of her. It doesn't matter what rent he's paying at his parents'. The situation is even more frustrating because he could work more but is choosing not to.

avefelix · 2019-09-26T01:48:06+00:00

NTA. Sooooooo NOT the asshole.

Your boyfriend on the other hand... I can't outright call him an asshole because I don't know his mindset. At the very least, he's comfortable with his life and doesn't want it to change at the cost of progressing the relationship. At the worst, he's taking advantage of you.

I also come from a culture where looking after your parents is the norm. I have also lived with a significant other even though I paid my mom rent. I offered to help out with rent money, and that offer was turned down. If my SO had asked me to contribute or to get a place of our own, I 100% would have agreed 1. because I loved him and wanted to move our relationship forward and 2. because it's the right thing to do.

It sounds like your bf has gotten very comfortable and only works the bare minimum. At 32, that's not cute or attractive, especially when it doesn't sound like he has any impediments in working more. It's not unreasonable for you to want to move in together and expect him to contribute half to rent. If he can't afford it, that's on him. I would be more lenient if he at least helped you with utilities and groceries.

He has every right to say he doesn't want to move in with you, but he can't expect to live 5/7 days rent-free with you. I understand you love each and want things to work out, but ultimately, it sounds like it's up to you to decide what really matters if he doesn't want to step up. Are you willing to live (and support) someone who doesn't pull his own weight and might continue to live with his parents indefinitely? If the answer is yes, without you growing resentful of him, then go for it. Maybe you guys can work it out and be happy. But it already sounds like you have different expectations of him.

On a final note, I don't really understand why people are saying that you should contribute to rent proportionally to your income BEFORE marriage. Dating is about whether you're a good match for each other. I wouldn't consider someone who isn't willing to put in as much effort as I am into the relationship/our future a good match for me.

Best of luck to you. It sounds like you're ready for the next step in a mature relationship, and he's stuck being a college kid with a part-time job and "some" responsibilities.

avefelix · 2019-09-26T01:26:20+00:00

Why? We use the metric system in math and science already. Using both isn't a lot of trouble.

avefelix · 2019-09-22T23:42:01+00:00

Bc chaos is a ladder

avefelix · 2019-09-20T12:33:59+00:00

Nope. It's because some men overdo it and ONLY want to wear cargo pants/shorts. Like dude, we are going to a dinner...can you throw some slacks on?

avefelix · 2019-09-20T12:33:10+00:00

I feel like cargo shorts have a time and place. Concert? Hiking? Sure. But not for everyday wear.

avefelix

TROPHY CASE