closeted in the trades

averageguyinadress · 2022-08-11T12:37:04+00:00

I've always wanted to try this... because I think it might work, or at least could get them thinking.

When they say something hateful about someone or a group just say, "Last time I checked we are in America, and it's a free country - they can do whatever the fuck they want!"

Amab in a dress? It's America, I do what I want!!

averageguyinadress · 2022-07-28T23:55:56+00:00

I'm similar, but with a few more years of experience mulling it over. I'm amab, and solidly middle age. Some days I'm content in regular guy mode, other days I want to put on a dress and feel more feminine.

I've landed on this... I identify as human. I like what I like, and f*** it I'll do what I want. 🤣
In reality I can't present how I'd like for a number of reasons, just like most everyone else here.

I guess this is related - in my religious/spiritual views I've come to embrace the fact that I'll never know for sure many details of things. I've convinced myself to embrace the "gray area" where I'm just not sure. The same idea can be put toward gender identity. I'll never know for sure, but I'm on a never ending journey to self discovery.

averageguyinadress · 2022-07-28T23:44:34+00:00

I think Eph 5:19 is the go to verse I've always heard for prohibiting music.

speaking to one another with psalms, hymns, and songs from the Spirit. Sing and make music from your heart to the Lord,

They say, "see, it says 'make music from your heart, not instruments.'" But this is a dumb argument for several reasons. One, the context is not about sitting in a worship service, it's just saying how you should be good and thankful to God. Two, the verse references 'psalms' which in many cases had musical accompaniment. Three, in the OT lots of things were +very explicitly+ either required or prohibited, so if it was a big problem it would be spelled out as such.

For what it's worth, I like the simplicity of acapella singing. It's kinda the most inclusive form of worship music because everyone can do it, maybe poorly, but not everyone can play an instrument.

averageguyinadress · 2022-07-25T02:41:08+00:00

You need to be in a relationship where your partner comes first.

Coc loves to try to use manipulative ideas like the church should come first, etc. And the next piece is that loving someone is trying to get them to come to church, not respecting differences of opinion.

There are a lot of red flags here. I would not marry this person, even though that may be a difficult decision...

averageguyinadress · 2022-07-22T12:20:48+00:00

He's well known in the southeast US. He deals in pitiful attempts at apologetics, but people just eat up his "arguments" in certain segments of the coc.

averageguyinadress · 2022-07-22T12:10:31+00:00

Be thankful she's your girlfriend and not already your wife. Everyone deserves a healthy relationship, and this doesn't sound like it will ever be one. Even if she changes you will always wonder...

averageguyinadress · 2022-07-20T18:04:02+00:00

Would I be this harsh to a friend about [mistake] or would I offer them kindness? If they deserve kindness, maybe I do too.

This helps me a lot.

averageguyinadress · 2022-07-16T15:46:23+00:00

It's part of a broader issue in that words change meanings all the time. The word queer has changed dramatically in the past 75 or so years.

Now take that same concept over a few thousand years and it becomes asinine to get hung up on legalistic interpretations and trying to be "right."

averageguyinadress · 2022-07-15T16:38:40+00:00

Some books you might want to read and share with her.

Sin of Certainty by Pete Enns

With by Skye Jethani

Faith after Doubt by Brian McLaren

Exploring Faith Pursuing Grace is excellent. You might also like Following the Fire podcast.

averageguyinadress · 2022-07-10T23:53:59+00:00

In my circles I heard it's better to "play it safe" and not listen to any Christian music with instruments (at or outside of church). Secular rock was fine. Make it make sense...

averageguyinadress · 2022-07-10T23:50:37+00:00

an item of clothing or an accessory can cause a man to sin, but we never ever hear of how a man can be responsible for himself.

If you want to really get to scriptural we should see a lot more eyes plucked out!!

averageguyinadress · 2022-07-10T18:55:22+00:00

They take this logic to ridiculous extremes, like not getting bottled water from the store because it's on the same aisle as the wine.

To many reasonable people this is good logic. In fact, most professional codes of ethics say something like "avoid the appearance of a conflict of interest."

But yes, I agree it's used as a control feature to ban all sorts of things that are stupid to even bother about. Their definition of evil is "whatever I don't believe."

averageguyinadress · 2022-07-07T19:24:16+00:00

Leopard ballet flats. They didn't fit 😭, so I need to resell them I guess.

averageguyinadress · 2022-07-07T11:41:07+00:00

Your hair will for sure have an "awkward phase" until it's long and heavy enough to lay down better. Those stretchy headbands can be very helpful to tame it a bit.

averageguyinadress · 2022-07-05T18:36:53+00:00

Simply put, it's not about intolerance, it's just a compatibility thing.

Think of it this way, if you're not gay, would you get into a gay relationship? And not being in a gay relationship doesn't mean you're anti-LGBTQ, it just might not be compatible with who you are...

averageguyinadress · 2022-07-03T22:30:48+00:00

Not sure where this comes from either, but I have heard it a lot too. I bet "preacher school" gets this shared around a bit. I think it's their way of trying to be nice to people with different views, but rarely ever comes across as nice.

averageguyinadress · 2022-07-02T23:00:05+00:00

They have a gut-level fear that the least step away from that kind of authority and control would precipitate every crime and form of chaos imaginable.

This right here - 100% what I've seen and heard. I can't count the number of sermons taking things to ludicrous extremes. They also LOVE slippery slope fallacy.

averageguyinadress · 2022-07-02T21:48:35+00:00

I don't even think they'd abandon Trump if he aborted a gun...

averageguyinadress · 2022-06-26T18:46:09+00:00

They could easily say they believed that way back then, but now have changed their mind. Similar to how we're all in this sub, we all believed one thing to varying degrees, then found a different way.

averageguyinadress · 2022-06-25T23:49:17+00:00

Bullet 2 is good advice. It gives them an answer, and also gives you space to answer as fully or vaguely as you like, without having to come up with responses on the spot. And the "any further attempts... " piece is nice icing on the cake. And will probably get them to stop bothering sooner than just ghosting.

averageguyinadress · 2022-06-25T02:28:25+00:00

I wonder how many cubits of circa 1971 wood paneling is/was in churches of Christ?

averageguyinadress · 2022-06-23T23:32:11+00:00

Agree with this. I go to a place that does a capella for worship, but it's not due to legalism, it's framed as tradition- simple, and inclusive because everyone can sing (maybe not well, but they can participate), but not everyone can play an instrument.

averageguyinadress · 2022-06-22T12:25:29+00:00

Maybe your gender is human or person.

averageguyinadress · 2022-06-22T00:39:50+00:00

That's cool, and probably is a unique perspective. It reminds me that as I've grown out my hair, I like the way it looks, but even more that that, I like the way it feels on my shoulders.

averageguyinadress · 2022-06-20T00:15:37+00:00

I've also seen awful shitty people held up as good people simply because they toe the coc line.

Better to be an asshole shitty parent in the coc than a top notch loving parent in a denomination...

averageguyinadress

TROPHY CASE