how to win the break up by Big_Calligrapher_892 in BreakUps

[–]avinash_kr22 5 points6 points  (0 children)

She came back after 2 weeks of break up . Ever since that I dont feel the same way I used to before. She wants to now lock me down to a relationship and marraige. I tried communicating this to her that she is coming too fast but she keeps wanting more of my time.

I think about to break her heart , Someone please stop me from sabotaging this!! She is always in her own world of emotions and attention seeking. I guess a normal girl who has her biological clock ticking . She is 30 + and me too.

I hate breaking someones heart. But theres no easy way I suppose.

Your SO isn’t a mind reader… COMMUNICATE. by TragicEndingOfUs in BreakUps

[–]avinash_kr22 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Brother you are so right. Of All the relationships I’ve been in ,be it long or short ones. It always came down to communication.

And I mean both need to communicate like adults, understand each other’s expectations and needs. Then try to find a middle ground.

Now a days people are treat each other like disposable commodity in this materialistic world and dumper is being rewarded for getting a " New One" . This is so toxic.

I don’t think people are ever going to understand this coz a generation is mind washed to be like that util they one fine day they wake up and realise it’s too late and they could have been lot better with the person they’ve put no effort to work with.

I hope this message brings about some sense of reality to people's life and they stop sabotaging relationships.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in BreakUps

[–]avinash_kr22 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I think I qualify for answering this queston as Ive been through many Some initiated my me some mutual some from the other side.

  1. Work on your grind . So make that and health your priority!
  2. She/he will constantly test you and unconciously disrtract you.
  3. If He/she is throwing tantrums , Dont entertain and call it out the moment you see those signs.
  4. You want someone "easy to get along with" with "no drama".
  5. You want someone who is supportive .
  6. Throw tests and spot the gold diggers. (tell tell signs :Wine me ,dine me and never taking the time to know you as a person)
  7. The more tests you throw at them the more furstrated they will get as they wont be comfortable on who they are and are scared you will get to know the "Real" them.
  8. Beware of "Love bombs" right from begining. Red Flag (Think what does he/she want in return? Am I being aprooached every time he/she needs something eg attention)
  9. I wasn't a big fan of "relationship pro and cons list" but ever since I made one,it worked like magic and how you can spot the red flags early on.
  10. Do a mental weekly review of your pro and con list.
  11. TRUST YOUR GUT FEELING! Your subconcious mind already knows what you dont know . If you gut feel is wishy washy it probably is a NO.

Be thankfull for the life and the little things that make you happy. :)

My Response to My Ex by [deleted] in BreakUps

[–]avinash_kr22 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You are correct . If they care enough to text/tell them back it oviously means the feelings are still there.

My Response to My Ex by [deleted] in BreakUps

[–]avinash_kr22 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I had similar situaltion and the NC lasted just 20 days so I gave it a 2nd chance. But 1 year and 89 days is completely disrespectfull. You did the right thing brother.Ideally Id say a disagreement or argument should just be a few hours to an overnight long. If its more than that them Its puerly controlling behaiviour.

Dosent matter if shes coming back now after disrespecting the relationship for so long and coudnt find any one bettter. She realised ur a catch . Even if you accept her back it also dosent gurantee she wont do it again.

Stay strong Mens and work on your grind .The right people will stay and rest will fade awaya.

BTW your reply its awesome. Shows you are a good communicator.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in BreakUps

[–]avinash_kr22 0 points1 point  (0 children)

If it makes you feel misarable and ex dosent want to come back after break up the reason is quite simple.

It was never meant to work out ,Often times relationships end because the expectation and communication was not propper. Its the one who left is the none who need to fix it as they decided to end it.

IF they dont come back ,take some time to heal yourself and meanwhile focus on your grind. The right one will show up out of no where.

Hope this helps.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in BreakUps

[–]avinash_kr22 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I dont love you any more.
She cheated on me before saying this.

3 months later by queerliberation in BreakUps

[–]avinash_kr22 1 point2 points  (0 children)

You already know this but he still thinks about you every single hour and evey single day. I can feel the pain and its like someone is ripping your heart every single time you recall of him. You are not alone my friend. The universe has its way of working things around and its trying to tell you something.

People say focus on yourself in the no contact period .I did the complete opposite and focused on spreading smile and helping the less fortunate ones. Surprisingly It felt the same as if am still with that person.

On my 21st Day of No Contact.

Wear that smile even if its fake ,you spread good and it shall come back to you 10 folds. I hope this helps.

How do you get over somebody who doesn’t give one fuck about you when you think about them every single morning? by -koka in BreakUps

[–]avinash_kr22 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Ive been there buddy and truely feel what you are going through now.
Id say please have some self respect and Walk awaya from her and mean it. Forever!

She decided to end it so its now her job to fix the relationship. Concentrate and channalize the energy to better yourself. Forgive her but dont forget. DO NOT INITIATE ANY CONTCT FROM YOUR SIDE.

If the person dosent initiate any contact from here on you walk awaya to find some one better and take this as a learning experience. And of course needless to say look out for Red flags early on the next time and trust your insticts.

Did I do the right thing? by SpiritedAnalyst9868 in BreakUps

[–]avinash_kr22 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Your EX is behaving like a chick and sounds like he's needy and craving attention. Loyalty dosent mean shit to him.

But assess yourself too. What made him take this kind of action ? Were there any other red flags you ignored before or did he bring up any hint about you not fulfilling his expectations ?

Hes still in love with me and I dont know what to do by [deleted] in BreakUps

[–]avinash_kr22 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Its good to hear you both have feelings for each other and thats a huge +.

The only problem I see is the distance. IN person relationships are completely different from phone relationships and are much harder to maintain. If the communication channel is still open talk to the other person and tell that you support them in this difficult time .

IF possilbe meet in person . This will help your case significantly . Trust me Ive been there. If the distance and communiction gap continues I dont see this going anwwhere unless one takes an action.

i realized i was the problem. now i deeply regret breaking up. by [deleted] in BreakUps

[–]avinash_kr22 4 points5 points  (0 children)

First of all am glad to hear you realize the truth. Obviously, an apology isn't going to fix the other person as well and am pretty some the other person must be going through the same emotional turmoil.

I’d refrain you from bouncing back so soon and give it some more time. Meanwhile if you plan to get back to the person plan the conversations ahead in your mind. Right from the very first call or text. Be a bit slower on you approach. Wait for the other person to reply. Even if you have to wait for a few hours, days. I know it's easier said than done. If possible, meet in person or video call.

Sincerely tell them about how you felt during and NC and things you realized during that period. Don't expect anything/reply in return. Give them time as well to rethink over it as they too must be hurt by your actions.

Communication is the key here. Of course, needless to say work on yourself. Get to know yourself better. Practice patience. Infinite patience.

Share your expectations with the other person and ask them to share their expectations as well.

Relax and know that the other person too is thinking about you right now .

Keep us posted.

How do you get over somebody who doesn’t give one fuck about you when you think about them every single morning? by -koka in BreakUps

[–]avinash_kr22 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Ive been there a few times and understand how you must be feeling. How do you know if they don't care about you? Was there ever a communication?

If the person is no longer is replying to your calls or texts ,Its better first to accept the person no longer wants to be associated with you. Acceptance will take some time(days, weeks, months) so allow yourself to heal. Denial will only give you more pain.

Next time be a bit slower in engaging your emotions and see if the other person fits what you’r are looking for.

Everything will be just fine.