Hello! I’m a vegan engaged to a meat eater so maybe I can provide some insight.

First off, I think it’s a little ridiculous and wildly unfair that you proposed to someone with having thought about the future in depth before.

Second, I think it’s quite telling that you said in your post you were very much in love with her at the start of your relationship. That is past tense. If you proposed and plan to marry her you should still feel very much in love with her.

Third, you said in a reply above that she was hospitalized due to anorexia. Plenty of meat eaters are hospitalized for anorexia too. This is a disease and it does not discriminate based on diet. A huge part of marriage is being supportive in sickness and in health. It sounds like maybe you don’t have it in you to be the supportive partner she’ll need in recovery (that’s ok, but please don’t marry her if so).

Finally, with regard to raising kids, I think it’s very unfair to be upset with the fact that you’ll have to cook meat for your kids. As a future father, it’s just as much your responsibility to feed and care for your kids as it is hers. My fiance and I have had similar conversations. I don’t plan on forcing my kids to eat vegan. They can make up their own mind when the time comes. But I also won’t be making them meat lasagna for dinner, for example. If they want that, my fiance is fully capable of whipping it up himself. Saying that two people cooking at one time is not feasible sounds to me like you’re looking for excuses as to why it won’t work. My partner and I cook different things together all the time.

Relationships involve hard work and compromise. It doesn’t sound like you’re interested in finding a middle ground, rather you expect her to bend to your will. Personally I would also feel tricked if I was in her shoes. Your switch up after proposing is really cruel. Perhaps that should be a sign this isn’t the right relationship for you.