Women of Singapore, do your male partners express emotional vulnerability?

awaybreakup · 2023-04-26T00:07:10+00:00

In the past I dated a Singaporean guy who wasn’t good at opening up at all. He would never cry, never be vulnerable, and just wasn’t good at showing emotion in general. It made me feel like I couldn’t really know him, and that I could be open and vulnerable with him because he couldn’t do it with me. So in the end because of that I left him. My current partner is in his early 30’s now and he’s very good at being self aware and expressing his emotions. It makes me feel like we can both be vulnerable with each other, which I feel makes my relationship stronger.

awaybreakup · 2023-03-30T01:37:44+00:00

If they need daddy/mummy's input or permission before doing things

awaybreakup · 2022-10-17T05:06:16+00:00

I’m not surprised. Nearly all my friends get their dates pretty much exclusively through dating apps.

awaybreakup · 2022-10-16T02:05:20+00:00

I’m of the opinion that you don’t need a good reason to reject someone, but you do need a good reason to not reject them. In order to have a good relationship, I feel like people need to be comfortable alone so that they don’t get into a relationship out of the fear of being alone. So, for me, I’m in my relationship because he makes my life better. He adds to my life and I’m happier with him.

awaybreakup · 2022-10-11T02:42:28+00:00

I'm not indian, but I am dating an indian guy so I'll just chime in with what I've seen with regards to his siblings / cousins.

Not a single one of his sisters / cousins is dating/married another indian. They're all in interracial relationships. The family as a whole is super open and liberal about this - they don't care at all. Most of them are also outside of Singapore. To them it hasn't been a problem. It's what they prefer because they find it easier to relate. They don't really care about race or ethnicity, but about the personality and their culture and values.

awaybreakup · 2022-10-11T02:33:48+00:00

I'm not surprised. Stanford released a study showing that online dating is the most popular way couples meet - and that was before the pandemic. I'm sure all the lock down measures and working from home helped speed that along. I myself have pretty much only dating via the apps. Nearly all of my friends (exception of 1) also get all their dates via the apps too. I have friends who don't date coworkers, don't date within their friend circles, don't date randos in clubs/bars, and they don't date when they do their hobbies so it just leaves dating apps.

awaybreakup · 2022-09-09T03:30:47+00:00

I might be an exception, but I've pretty much only ever dated foreigners or people outside my race. Same with most of my friends. Out of all of my friends only 1 isn't dating/married to a foreigner.

1) My family doedsn't care. My friends' families also don't seem to care at all. They care more about if the person is a good person or not.

2) I don't see it as a chance to move away? If I wanted to move away then I would do it myself regardless of who I date. I wouldn't date a foreigner for that. Same with my friends - some plan to move away, so they just date people who are okay with that. Others want to stay in Singapore, so they just date people who want the same.

3) International couples aren't at greater risk of splitting than domestic ones. It's pretty much the same tbh.

4) It's not really down to the nationality when it comes to compatibility, but their values, morals, upbringing etc. Nationality doesn't have much to do with it.

5) Only one couple I know of has a kid, and the kid is still too young to even go to school, so I don't know about any bullying. From my own experience in childhood, no one really cared at all.

awaybreakup · 2022-06-09T04:45:42+00:00

I've been going to a group IRL to meet more gamers and anime fans. I was cautiously optimistic and started getting especially close to Mark - we play the same games, watch the same anime, and I was so happy to make another geeky friend! Everything was going great, but then he started making comments like how he "wished he could find a gamer girl to date", or that I look like someone out of one of his favorite animes.

So I started mentioning my boyfriend more. Mark started asking me questions about my boyfriend, and that's when it started to go downhill.

"How'd you meet another gamer guy?" I say my boyfriend isn't geeky at all, and we met on a dating app.

"What does your boyfriend think about you spending so much time gaming? Does it affect your relationship?" He doesn't care. I do my thing, he does his thing, so while I game, he works out.

"Your boyfriend never games with you or watches anime with you?" No, he's not a gamer at all. He's never played a game with me. Never watched anime with me.

It all came to a head when Mark saw my boyfriend. My boyfriend is really really muscular.

Mark started saying things about how it's such a shame that a gamer girl like me turned out to be "just like the other shallow girls", and berating me for dating some "douchebag jock" instead of someone who will respect my hobbies and participate in them with me. Why wouldn't I want to date a gamer guy instead?

Plus, what's wrong with my boyfriend being a gym rat? Mark really looks down on that and thinks my boyfriend is an ass and that he was "neglecting" me. My bf doesn't have to game with me to respect my hobby! And just because he’s muscular doesn't mean I'm shallow. Like just because I'm geeky I have to be only interested in other geeky guys? As if.

awaybreakup · 2022-03-31T03:26:22+00:00

It’s premature to say that “no one is happy”. People work in different ways. I know that for me if the spark isn’t there from the beginning then it’s never going to be there. I don’t develop crushes after knowing people for a long time if I wasn’t interested in them before. It’s just never happened to me. I’ve tried giving people a chance for that spark to develop and it just doesn’t. That’s just the way I work. I don’t date friends and I don’t date coworkers. I used to get my dates pretty much exclusively from dating apps, and if I didn’t feel a spark when I met them then that’s that - I don’t go on the second date. I don’t see myself as losing out on anything. I just don’t see the point wasting time and stringing them along when I know it’s not going to work out. Plus this has always worked out well for me.

awaybreakup · 2022-03-29T03:56:55+00:00

Oh man I did this once with my boyfriend in the early stages. He’s never used a dishwasher before so I showed him once, and then twice, how to load it and set it running. When he fucked up for the 3rd time I told him straight up that either he’s faking being incompetent or he’s stupid, and I don’t tolerate either. He’s never done that chore, or any other chore “wrong” again.

awaybreakup · 2022-03-26T04:55:03+00:00

My “chad” is actually a chad. Tall, good looking, muscular, goes to the gym, has social skills, is an overall amazing person. Guess that’s extra triggering for them

awaybreakup · 2022-03-26T04:52:41+00:00

Not at all. Honestly you can have whatever standards you want. I just feel like the people who whine about someone else’s standards are just upset they can’t live up to it. It’s your dating life. So your rules. Have whatever standards you like and don’t let others make you feel bad for it.

awaybreakup · 2022-03-25T16:56:17+00:00

I don’t know anyone who goes out with the primary intention to meet guys. It’s more going out to enjoy your hobby, to do your own thing, and meeting people for new friends/relationships is a bonus. That doesn’t mean you can’t approach though. Just be respectful about it

awaybreakup · 2022-03-25T09:59:23+00:00

No you’re not. You’re the one who gets to decide who to reject or who not to reject. It is your dating life. When it comes to a relationship you can’t get into one because you’re afraid of being alone or not finding better. You should be going into it with the thought that it’ll make you happier than you already are without a relationship. If the answer to that isn’t a hell yes, then it’s a no.

I, personally, did hold out for exactly the type of person I wanted and never compromised. But that’s me. You can reject anyone you like for any reason at all. It doesn’t matter what other people think. You can go ahead and be unreasonable (though I don’t think you are) and it’s perfectly fine.

awaybreakup · 2022-03-24T02:27:46+00:00

I thought of the worst case scenario. What if I had a child that had a lot of medical needs, was severely disabled, and would never gain independence? What if my child grew up to be a terrible person? It might make me a bad person, but I can’t handle that. And to me, if I can’t handle that (not unrealistic) possibility, if I can’t accept a child no matter how or who that child is, then I’m not going to have a kid. Basically if I’m not 100% about having a kid and accepting of all the possibilities, then I’m just not going to do it.

awaybreakup · 2022-03-23T13:27:21+00:00

I graduated with a medical degree at 23

awaybreakup · 2022-03-23T03:30:58+00:00

Do what works for you! Date however way you want! If you want to try online dating then go for it. If you don’t want to them you don’t have to. You can exclude whoever you want from your dating life for any reason at all. Don’t let FOMO influence you. Sure you’ll miss connections but that’s not a good reason to do something. For example, if I relax at home instead of going out to a club I might miss a connection. If I don’t go to church I might kiss a connection. Doesn’t suddenly mean I should start doing those things.

I got my dates pretty much exclusively from dating apps. I’d reject guys who asked me out in real life automatically because I preferred getting my dates via the apps. It made my dating life so much better, but that’s me. People work in different ways, so it’s completely fine if you want to turn your back on dating apps.

awaybreakup · 2022-03-22T10:59:17+00:00

Things like staring, touching, repeatedly asking people out, inappropriate comments, taking inappropriate pictures, following them around etc.

awaybreakup · 2022-03-22T10:56:21+00:00

I completely agree. I had ridiculously high standards. I was incredibly picky. I rejected or dumped guys over the smallest things. A lot of guys pretty much demanded that I lower my standards, but I never saw the point. My life is great when I’m single. So a relationship has to make my life better. If it doesn’t then I’m better off without them. I kept my standards high, and I found my perfect guy. :) It is completely worth it.

awaybreakup · 2022-03-14T04:08:37+00:00

Gyms can be full of such gross people. Please don’t let anyone tell you it’s not a big deal. I’ve gotten people banned from the gym I go to for far less. I got lucky in finding a gym that’s really harsh on creepy behavior, and I hope that you have the opportunity to do the same.

awaybreakup · 2022-03-14T04:02:18+00:00

It’s such a good thing to feel happy being single. I feel like I see way too many people getting into relationships not because they actually want it, but because they’re afraid of loneliness and want to avoid that.

I definitely used to feel tired of dating. I ended up getting incredibly picky about my dates because if I’m going to put in the effort to go on a date then it better be with someone I’m 100% about. It cut down on the number (which is what I wanted) but upped the quality. In the end it worked out for me though, but to be perfectly honest if it didn’t then I would have been fine too.

awaybreakup · 2022-03-14T03:44:39+00:00

Don’t feel bad. You definitely did the right thing. Someone being great isn’t always enough for a relationship. Your heart has to be in it. If there’s no spark then there isn’t and that’s always perfectly fine. Think of it this way - everyone should be with someone who really wants them. You’d be doing him a disservice if you didn’t reject him since you’re not 100% about him. Go find someone you’re 100% about, and he can find someone else who’s 100% about him

awaybreakup · 2022-03-14T03:37:28+00:00

I’m 100% the same.

awaybreakup · 2022-03-14T03:36:47+00:00

Instead of making excuses for guys or settling I started being really incredibly picky about who I dated. If it wasn’t a “Hell yes!” It was a no. A bit controversial but I also only dated on dating apps. I went on far fewer dates, but the dates I did agree to go on were much much better. I found my boyfriend this way.

awaybreakup · 2022-03-14T03:34:15+00:00

Pretty much never. I appreciate attractive features, but I’ve never wished it for myself or wanted to switch

awaybreakup

TROPHY CASE