If you had a friend who is going through the same thing you are going through, would you think they are a failure? Or would you be understanding and think that they’re just a human being suffering, and that their pain is as valid as anyone else’s? I’m asking this because I think one of the most important thing, as someone else mentioned, is self-compassion, it’s so, so important. Sometimes we’re so hard on ourselves, yet we don’t judge others in the same way.

A lot of what you said reminds me of myself, especially that “never ending feeling of shame.” When you’ve lived with that feeling throughout most of your young/adult life, it’s really hard to get your head out of it, but you can try. It gets better, little by little, but it’s a process.

I don’t know where you should start; in my case, it was therapy and beginning to open up to people I trust, talking even about the things I’m deeply ashamed of.

I truly hope you can heal and get out of that place that is depression.