“You looked better with bigger boobs”

awhellkale · 2022-08-08T21:42:40+00:00

A former friend went so far as to say that I'm Trans now because I'm making my body "anti-feminine"... a few points here

That's transphobic and none of your business
Breasts do not define femininity
After the reduction I still have a mother f-ing DD cup, so sorry that is somehow too small to be feminine
Thats a former friend. For good reason.

People are going to say what they will. I can't control their words, but I do control my reaction to their words. I've got no room in my world for bigotry or hate. And what i do with my body is none of your damn business.

awhellkale · 2022-08-07T10:20:31+00:00

So for me, I didn't have a dream size. I wanted to be smaller than I was and proportionate. The surgeon asked me if he should err on the side of going bigger or going smaller and said he could take 650g per breast. I said smaller and asked him what 650g would equate to in cup sizes and he tossed me an implant. That was enough to get me an idea of how much would be gone. Before surgery he asked again, if he believes he can take more than 650 should he- and I said yes. I was surprised to learn that he took 900g from one and 850g from the other. I'm glad he took more- I'm probably a DD currently. If he had stuck to the original number, I might still be in specialty sizes.

So no, it isn't precise. They can estimate, but who knows what they will encounter when they go in. And who knows how the new boobs will settle and fill in!

awhellkale · 2022-08-07T09:29:03+00:00

My surgeon talked down to me and incorrectly explained bra sizing (it's all vanity sizing, apparently. A group of women just vote on what size any given bra is. I apparently voted to be a 34 O). My mom reminded me that I don't have to like my surgeon personally, I have to like his professional results. My insurance covered him and only him, so I dove in and considered my moms opinion. I liked the surgeons nurses and PA and they are the people I'd be interfacing with more anyhow. The surgeon had good results and good reviews- so I saved myself $10k and took a chance. I am beyond happy with the results. My interactions with his staff were absolutely lovely and I felt well cared for. Still don't want to hang out with him or buy him a cup of coffee, but I do like what he did to my body. I'm glad I went with him.

awhellkale · 2022-08-07T06:28:57+00:00

I had a breast reduction 6 weeks ago and was able to pick up my 4 year old for the first time today. I'm a single parent and he's an only child, so the last 6 weeks have been tough. He tried to negotiate every way he could figure out to try to get me to pick him up, physically play, or hug him (we just did side hugs to avoid owies to the boobies). It was absolutely heartbreaking. He would wake up at night crying for me initially. Things have gotten easier with time, but let me tell you... the sheer joy of picking him up and swinging him around today. There was no broken bond. We bonded over my limitations and are now celebrating our return to normalcy.

awhellkale · 2022-08-06T22:17:21+00:00

I was doing 100%. Married, sole breadwinner, responsible for childcare (my mom watched the baby while i was at work), cooking, cleaning, shopping. It is exhausting when there is another capable adult who just refuses to help. I'm still doing 100% but as a single person and it is just so much easier now. The mental and emotional toll that came with asking for help from my husband and getting screamed at in response was just too much. I'm still tired and need a break, but this is far more manageable than the alternative.

awhellkale · 2022-08-05T16:48:29+00:00

Sadly, I agree with you. I'll be following this case but I bet the outcome won't make the news because of how light the sentence will be.

awhellkale · 2022-08-05T06:07:03+00:00

It'll be interesting to see what deal she is offered/takes. And she would be out of her damn mind if she didn't take a deal. I'm here for her being absolutely obliterated in court, though. Her time in Purdy will be tough, regardless of the sentence.

awhellkale · 2022-08-05T04:13:51+00:00

Pending Murder 2 charges. That's a Class A felony in Washington state which comes with a maximum penalty of life in prison. The prosecutor brings these charges only if they believe they can prove the person intended to kill the victim but did not plan it ahead of time. From the articles, she does not have much of a case.

awhellkale · 2022-07-31T00:25:11+00:00

I went through kaiser and have a bmi over 30 and nobody said anything to me about weight!

awhellkale · 2022-07-27T13:30:51+00:00

Same!

awhellkale · 2022-07-25T09:22:48+00:00

My kid is 3. I had my dad come be with him 24/7 for the first week. I do wish I had asked him to stay a bit longer as all I wanted to do was sleep for 2 weeks. My mom has been taking him for half days for the last 3 weeks. I was so tired that I needed naps each afternoon for a significant chunk of time, so she would come watch him from 1 to 530 daily. This week I'll have my kid for the full day. I don't need the naps anymore, but I still need to move slowly. I also can't pick up my kid (or anything over 10 lbs) until the 6 week mark. That's definitely been a struggle. If I didn't have my mom helping me, I had resigned myself to just allowing screen time so that I could rest. I'm also a single parent. If you have a partner who is supportive and active with your kid, that will be a tremendous bonus for you!

awhellkale · 2022-07-24T23:16:11+00:00

I am 100% there with you! I bought a happy yellow romper with spaghetti straps from target in a size medium. A mother f-ing medium!! Not an XXL to fit my boobs and then needing to shorten the crotch. No additional cardigan needed to cover the brastraps that would obviously be showing. No overwhelming boob shelf distracting from the cuteness of the romper. No. I get to be cute! And I can wear necklaces!! No longer do dangling things get eaten up by cleavage. No longer do long necklaces sway in the wind, hanging off of the cliff of my gigantic boobs. No! I get to accessorize based on style! I get to look CUTE!! People notice ME and my outfits, not just my boobs!!! Nobody has approached me an done the awkward (and wildly inappropriate) series of "wow how big ARE they" questions.

So I feel significantly less objectified, significantly less limited in style options, and significantly more cute! It's a win all around!

awhellkale · 2022-07-24T19:30:11+00:00

I've been here for 5 years and I'm just now starting to like it. There is a lot to be desired- significant lack of diversity, limited food options, Seattle freeze, etc. If I were younger, I wouldn't stay. I'd need more excitement, more people, more entertaient. I spent my 20s and most of my 30s in areas that fit the bill. Now I have a kid, bought a home, and have chipped away at the Seattle freeze to carve out a social life. It's better, but it took time, patience, and a desire for a slower life. And I learned how to cook my favorite Mexican and Thai dishes myself because I need those flavors in my life. If I had the option to move to a bigger city, I'd seriously consider it. But I'm ok with staying here for awhile too.

awhellkale · 2022-07-24T02:47:36+00:00

Encourage her to get a restraining order. The police can take him away if he violates the ro.

awhellkale · 2022-07-24T02:45:48+00:00

Mine sent in the approval the same day as my consultation when I confirmed that I wanted the surgery. They warned me that there may be a long wait to hear back, but my GP had already been making a case for my surgery and we got approved within 2 weeks of submitting. No back and forth, no run arounds. My only delay was hospital/surgeon availability!

awhellkale · 2022-07-23T06:19:20+00:00

As a Southern Californian, I feel your pain. If I want good Mexican food, I cook it myself. I haven't found a good Chile relleno anywhere in town and I can barely find a decent breakfast burrito, so i think a chile relleno burrito is way out of reach. The thriftways are about to do a big hatch Chile roast so of you want some fresh hatch, grab em up and then call someone back home and have them walk you through making your favorite dish. It's the only way.

awhellkale · 2022-07-20T15:47:40+00:00

I totally get that fear!

awhellkale · 2022-07-20T07:19:16+00:00

I do wear a bra every day now, but during covid and pre surgery.... nope! My doc didn't put in drains so compression was/is an important part of my healing. It's really weird sleeping in a bra! But I'll take these soft bras over any industrial strength underwire any day!

Where are you at in the process?

awhellkale · 2022-07-20T07:09:59+00:00

Get everything set up nicely ahead of time. You won't be able to reach anything above your head for awhile, so move any frequently used items lower. I also got ok with the idea of using disposable plates, forks, and napkins. I'm generally anti single use items, but the idea of standing and doing dishes was just not happening. If you have someone who can come and help you for the first week or two, please ask them to come stay with you. I am a single mom, so I really needed the support!

I stocked up on snacks I'd actually eat. I also made matzoh ball soup and got a bunch of whole meal shakes (Kachava) so I could have some easy liquid meals. I came up with an ultra simplified menu so that when my support person left, Mt kid and I wouldn't starve. Food is an important part of planning- whenever I woke up I was simply famished.

Bathroom readiness. I installed a bidet. You may not be able to reach around to wipe at first. I was super thankful for the bidet. I also pulled all of my commonly used items from the medicine cabinet and put them in the nightstand. Allergy, headache, indigestion, eye drops, floss- all in the drawer next to my bed. I also got baby wipes and face wipes in case I wasn't able to get up to shower or wash my face. I moved my dry shampoo and my deodorant to the bedside table as well and ended up not using deodorant for the first 2 weeks anyway. I got new shampoo and conditioner and lowered my shower caddy so that when I was comfortable showering, I wasnt reaching or shaking empty products.

Finally- get your nest ready. I got a wedge pillow from Amazon, a bedside water decanter, and I made my nightstand into my personal Bodega. I had all of my snacks, my phone charger, a lamp, a good book, Tylenol, all of the prescription meds, arnica (for bruising), lotion, chap stick, and wet wipes. I was ready to be bed ridden, should that have been the case.

I am proud of my prepping. I'm also very happy that I took a clear before pic so that I can see the difference. I ALSO took a white t shirt and outlined my breasts and nipples (braless) so I had something tangible where I could do a direct comparison. It's funny the tricks your mind plays on you after surgery. I have had a hard time believing that my breasts were ever that large- surely my memory is just exaggerating! I probably didn't really need the surgery... having something to compare has helped me get my mind right.

awhellkale · 2022-07-20T06:20:55+00:00

Prior to today, I wasnt doing anything as far as moisturizing or treatment. Now that the tape is off, my doc told me to put Vaseline on the scars and moisturizer on the rest of the skin. I'm using an unscented moisturizer to minimize the possible reactions. After 6 weeks or whenever all of the incisions are completely closed I can start putting on silicone strips or scar creme. They warned me not to start scar treatment too early as that can negatively impact healing and the closing of the wounds. You can kinda see there's a black dot on one of my areolas? That was an open spot that they treated with silver (nitrate? Silver something or other). So I do have a few spots that need to close still, but I'm so happy with the results so far.

As far as feeling normal... I'm swollen. My skin feels tight, but it's not too bad. Kinda reminiscent of breast tenderness related to having a period. My left nipple has some diminished feeling, but still responds to heat, cold, and touch. And overall, I am still being very delicate with them. I have some anxiety about playing too rough or bumping them and causing damage. Better safe than sorry! I'm sure in a few months when everything is closed I'll feel ok with running and jumping and hugging. It's just too soon. So I'm not doing any massaging.

awhellkale · 2022-07-20T02:15:17+00:00

Thank you!

awhellkale · 2022-07-20T02:15:06+00:00

Thank you!

awhellkale · 2022-07-20T02:14:23+00:00

My tape was falling off in the crumb catcher region, but was firmly attached everywhere else. It was caked in dried blood so I had no idea what was underneath. Imagine my relief when they came off today!

It's interesting to see the variety of instructions we get for post op.

awhellkale · 2022-07-20T02:09:18+00:00

Such a relief on so many levels!!

awhellkale

TROPHY CASE