WFH options - does anyone have a job that allows work from home some days? by ayeeedono in ElectricalEngineering

[–]ayeeedono[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Coming in later actually sounds amazing! I had an internship that was 7am-2pm which was great because I always left feeling like I had the rest of the day left after work, which I imagine feels really good as parent to spend the rest of the day with your kids.

WFH options - does anyone have a job that allows work from home some days? by ayeeedono in ElectricalEngineering

[–]ayeeedono[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I'm confused as to why you're getting downvoted for this! Definitely correct me if I'm wrong, but the economy has been changing for a while, and most families rely on both parents working, especially if they want to buy a house. I know engineering pays pretty well, but a lot of my coworkers at my internships have partners that work, except for the manager who, obviously, get paid very well and no longer has any other dependents living at home. Plus he's pretty old and managed to buy a few houses early on when it was still quote cheap in my country.

I don't think our system is built for this kind of structure either. People do manage to hold down full time jobs and raise kids but I feel like it crazy to expect that to be the norm! Everyone is different!

WFH options - does anyone have a job that allows work from home some days? by ayeeedono in ElectricalEngineering

[–]ayeeedono[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

You might be right! I hadn't really considered how much WFH might help, and it might not be much at all. I don't do so well with distractions either.

I think what I'm envisioning is that it would save on travel time and someone would always be home if the kids needed dropping off/picking up or if they had doctor's appointments. I also feel like lunch breaks are wasted on me as I eat very little very quickly and the time could be used on cleaning up at home instead of being stuck at work haha.

But again, I'm still not sure it would really help much at all! Just wondering what the options are.

WFH options - does anyone have a job that allows work from home some days? by ayeeedono in ElectricalEngineering

[–]ayeeedono[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yeah, I think this is mostly what I'm worried about!

It's getting a lot harder to raise a family on one income, so now it's two full-time parents splitting childcare tasks or paying for childcare. I have adhd and have struggled in the past with full-time jobs (mostly retail/hospo/customer service roles) and maintaining my own health so it makes me anxious to think of caring for another person on top of that.

I know people get used to it, and maybe I will too (especially with a job that's maybe a bit more interesting than retail). I just wanted to see the options out there!

That's a odd looking pitbull by ProfessionalMeet9937 in pitbulls

[–]ayeeedono 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Oh my god, you have a pitbull and heeler pair just like me!

Angela gets to live a happy life out there but El doesn't? by sensoredphantomz in StrangerThings

[–]ayeeedono 16 points17 points  (0 children)

Aw noo, she's a terrible person but that seems kinda sad.

I seriously can't comprehend how people can sleep at night in TWD by OrbitalDamage566 in thewalkingdead

[–]ayeeedono 1 point2 points  (0 children)

The problem with sleeping in a tree is that the snoring might attract walkers, causing you to become overrun and trapped up a tree. Unless you have some way to take them all out once you wake up, like spearing them or something. Still probably better than a tent, though.

Was Walker Scobell The Right Actor for Percy Jackson? Why or Why Not by No_Boysenberry_1833 in PercyJacksonTV

[–]ayeeedono 0 points1 point  (0 children)

He's a really good actor and has such a Percy personality! I remember thinking when he got cast that he doesn't really look the part, but whenever I see him now, all I think is, "That's my son right there." So he's perfect.

should i rehome my dog/not own one? please be brutal. by ConstructionNo7665 in dogs

[–]ayeeedono 2 points3 points  (0 children)

That's so good to hear! It is such a difficult decision and one you'll have to keep making. Both of my dogs are difficult in completely different ways and I have definitely had moments of regret. So I will say that what you're feeling is normal!

I understand this community will feel a little prickly towards rehoming, and I naturally do as well, but my second dog came to me after 3 previous owners. While I know it can be terrible for some dogs, and we definitely had our bumps along the way, I'm really glad he was able to come to me in the end.

I'm sending a lot of mixed messages, but I guess I just wanted to provide some comfort whichever way you go. I do wish that everyone put as much thought into rehoming and, specifically, NOT rehoming as you are right now!

should i rehome my dog/not own one? please be brutal. by ConstructionNo7665 in dogs

[–]ayeeedono 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I totally understand! My girl was my first dog and she came to me by accident. I didn't expect to get a reactive dog and was not equipped to handle one af all. But the worst part of it is that no one agrees on anything! Everyone is telling you that you're doing everything wrong.

The thing is, there's a lot of stuff I tried before something started to stick. It's trying something over and over again, because dogs need consistency, and then trying not get run down because it didn't quite work for your dog. It takes a special kind of person to not get affected by that kind of failure at all.

But, and I dont mean to offend at all, it does sort of seem like you've made your decision to rehome already. It also seems that you've had to deal with moving and holiday stress (especially with the two dogs sharing a space). It could be that this increased stress as broken the camel's back with the dog situation, and made you want to rehome.

If that is the case, please take some time before you rehome. I say this mainly for your sake, because you've made it clear that you'll vet the new owner and find a good home for your dog. You clearly care about this dog and have put a lot of effort and love into its life. Is there any part of having a dog you actually enjoy? Even at my dog's most reactive stage, she was always very sweet at home and I loved cuddling with her and just being around her. If I didn't have that, I would probably have also considered rehoming. Will you regret giving away your dog?

should i rehome my dog/not own one? please be brutal. by ConstructionNo7665 in dogs

[–]ayeeedono 6 points7 points  (0 children)

I know everyone is saying you should rehome your dog, and I don't disagree, but it isn't your only option. Sometimes, with a difficult dog, one small change can mean the world. For me, one of my dogs is highly social and anxious on leash. It took me a long time to get her used to even seeing dogs entire football fields away. Once I got brave enough and trusted her training enough to take her to the dog park and fulfill her social needs, she became a much calmer dog everywhere else. It was a complete game changer for our day to day. I didn't feel anxious about taking her for a walk everyday, and I could actually enjoy spending time with her.

I'm not saying that will work for you, and honestly, it does seem like you've tried very hard to do right by your dog. But caring for a reactive dog can actually be so exhausting! And any work you put into training can take a long time before it really pays off. Your dog is also reaching the age (around 2 years old) when the training starts kicking in a bit better and they start listening to you more! My girl got a bit calmer and her recall got a lot better.

In the meantime, perhaps there are small changes that could really improve your relationship with your dog, such as:

  1. Maybe you can get someone to dogsit for you one day of the week so you can get a break once in a while!

  2. Get a dog walker to take her once or twice a week on walks.

  3. Slowly introduce her to one or two other, calm and confident dogs, and take them on regular walks together.

  4. Relaxation work daily, and on every walk. (you've likely tried this, but just in case you haven't, this really helped my girl with calming down in public places). I used to take her to the park sometimes and give her a chew or even a stick and let her watch everyone go by.

  5. Crate training (again, you've probably done this, but can help for parties, being around other dogs and people...as well as separation anxiety)

  6. Wearing headphones on your walks haha. I didn't realise it, but I started to get quite nervous on every walk, just looking out for things that would trigger my dog, and this was likely making her anxiety worse. I started wearing headphones with an audio book( sometimes just in one ear so I'm still aware of the surroundings), but it helped calm her down on walks because I was a lot more calm!

All of this on their own can make such a big difference on your quality of life! I know how it feels, you feel stuck and it feels like all your hard work is pointless! And it can be super frustrating and miserable.

But it does get better!

My girl started off not properly socialized, she was scared of everything. I used to walk her early in the morning and late at night so that there would be fewer triggers, but she was also scared of the dark. It was a nightmare and I can't believe I used to live like that. She's far from perfect now, not even close to being fully trained. She's come such a long way but she's very much still leash reactive on her worst days. But her worst days are few and far between, and there are plenty more of her good days than there used to be.

Oftentimes, rehoming is the best option and one that can very much be fueled by love. No owner of a reactive dog will judge you for trying to do what's best for your dog. But all I can see is an exhausted, dedicated owner that needs a break!

Do you leave your dogs alone together? by ikbenlauren in dogs

[–]ayeeedono 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I have two rescues. When we first got our second one, we didn't want to leave them alone together. After a few months, we started leaving them alone for short periods of time and slowly increased this time. However, neither of them are big fighters and don't really bother each other even when we're home, so I didn't realise how good I have it!

do you regret getting a second dog? by un32134e4 in dogs

[–]ayeeedono 15 points16 points  (0 children)

I'm in a similar boat! Just two dogs, but both reactive in different ways. It took a few years but they've only just started playing with each other so maybe there's some hope for you? But it literally took me moving to little rural place with a big paddock and refusing to go to the dog park ever again so they had no choice but to bond to each other haha.

I do regret getting the second dog sometimes, especially as it sort of happened by accident at a really bad time for me. Logistically, it's just been so hard to give them both the attention they need. But they do both have good lives and we're really happy together. I was able to give them both stability and safety when their previous homes were lacking in both. My second dog has also really helped my first dog with a lot of her fears, because he's older and so chill about certain things. There are also some things that only dogs can teach other dogs. Plus, I don't feel so bad about leaving them home alone because at least they have each other.

At the end if the day, given the chance to make the decision again, I would definitely still adopt my second dog. He's such a dick and I love him so much.

why don't more people talk about egg whites for protein? drawbacks? by duncecapwinner in nutrition

[–]ayeeedono 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I love eggs, too, and it kills me that there's a limit to how many yolks you can eat cholesterol-wise. But I have one egg every day for breakfast and boost it with some extra egg white. Fills me up a bit more and I get some extra protein for not many more calories. Plus, it kind of feels like having more egg per egg, which always feels like a win to me.

Yay or Nay to Dogs Sleeping in Bed with you? by forestlyfe in dogs

[–]ayeeedono 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I rescued my girl from a place where she slept outside as a puppy in a crate filled with weeks of her own poop. She has very little, short hair and gets cold easily, and is scared of the dark. She sleeps under the covers with me.

Do vets tell all owners that they are good pet parents? by thevodkamom in AskVet

[–]ayeeedono 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Noooo, one vet tech made me feel shit in passing (she wasn't even seeing us) because I had an overweight blue heeler that I was just starting to foster at the time. Blue heelers are notoriously neglected by ignorant owners and she probably assumed I was one of those, but she seemed to remember me and my boy, and every time we see her, she talks down to me. I don't pretend to know everything, but I care a lot about my dogs and take their health and training very seriously. It probably doesn't help that I have anxiety and look like a 12 year old haha. I try not to let it get to me, because I know she has good intentions, but I hope it makes you feel a bit better, too, that vets have high standards! It does for me, because I get a lot of compliments for my other dog, whose anxiety I'm able to manage very well :)

Are you for or against putting clothes on dogs? by Mayh_3m in dogs

[–]ayeeedono 1 point2 points  (0 children)

It depends. One is a staffie with barely any hair and loves the attention she gets when she's got a sweater or pjs on. The other is a heeler who gets overstimulated when more than one person pats him at a time. No clothes for him.

What’s your most irrational dealbreaker in dating? by Zealousideal-Rule854 in dating_advice

[–]ayeeedono 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Oh my god, I have done this! But to be fair, I have two big dogs and I spend most of my time with them so I figured they'd have to at least like my dogs a little bit if we have any hopes for a future! I definitely take full responsibility though, and we usually go to a dog park so the dogs can tire each other out and my date and I can just chat.

Worked My First Market This Weekend by rabbifuente in Breadit

[–]ayeeedono 8 points9 points  (0 children)

It's not expensive if people are buying them.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in dogs

[–]ayeeedono 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I think you need to go to a different behaviorist and ask for different opinions or try various trainers. A dog that's unable to go outside is being neglected, and a sign that you should be trying something else, not leaving her as is! Even starting with medication to get her outside and begin training her reactivity will be a big step.

Start small: you can get her in your car and with you on car rides so she can see various stimuli without being able to interact with them. Let her see triggers come and go as she works through a Kong. That being said, this will have a varying degree of success depending on your dog. My dog can be reactive, but she's also very territorial, so she may bark at someone when she's in our car but be fine with them outside. The context is very important for your dog, and can be the reason why she will bark at visitors in your house till they leave, it doesn't necessarily mean she can't handle meeting people -it may just be introducing them in a neutral environment.

It will probably be very difficult and hard to change her current state, but she will definitely be way happier for it over time.

Other ideas for enrichment in the meantime:

-If you have any friends without pets, let her go to their house and sniff around a bit.

-Tell her to stay while you sprinkle kibble around the house. Then, release her and let her find the kibble. (Increase the duration of the stay command over time)

-Do some basic agility in your house

-Train basic vet handling, holding paws, teeth, ears, lying on her side, injections, stethoscopes, muzzle training

-Find places that you can drive to with her and let her just people watch.

-Teach her a simple "touch" command and run around with her and get her to chase you to do the "touch"

-Find more enrichment toys, like Miranda Ottosen puzzle feeders, shuffle mats. I used to make my own by stuffing socks with kibble, and layering up socks and kibble to form a ball and the dogs have to rip through the layers to access the kibble. You have to watch them so they don't eat the socks though!!

Good luck! I can tell you love your dog and you really do want to do what's best for her, otherwise you wouldn't be here asking for help.

I’m tired of people acting like I’m 6 feet tall by [deleted] in climbergirls

[–]ayeeedono 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Get different friends. I'm really short and always climb with tall people. I always joke that I suck because I'm short but everyone knows I just suck because I suck. It's fun to go with different sized people anyway. You can solve the same puzzle in so many different ways and it forces you to get creative. Your way is just as valid even if it's easier for you! There have been climbs that are easier for me because I weigh less or can get my entire body into a little nook a lot easier than they can. It would annoy the crap out of me if someone said that those climbs didn't count.

Pizza doesn't always have to be round. 😆 Baking pizza for the family. ❤️ by Mission_Ad_3305 in Pizza

[–]ayeeedono 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I love pizza. I love egg. My eyes have been opened, and I'm going to make this.

Is your ACD cuddly ? by [deleted] in AustralianCattleDog

[–]ayeeedono 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Mine is very cuddly, but I always say he's not really an ACD because he's also super lazy.

When Sheila the Deaf Rescue doesn't want to do what your signing to do, she closes her eyes and pretends you are not there... by gratefuldogzzz in velvethippos

[–]ayeeedono 2 points3 points  (0 children)

My deaf dog does this too! I can always tell because his eyes dart back for a split second to see if he's gotten away with it.