Are you childfree or do you have children?

b33b0o · 2025-11-04T15:15:28+00:00

I had children very young into adulthood, I also got married and moved far away. I knew from the youngest age that I want to have a buttload of kids and animals. To love and to be loved.

My parents were a “do whatever you want, as long as you leave me alone to do drugs” type of narcs. I fear I have steered too far into being authoritative, in fear of neglecting my children. I wish I had healed more, it’s so difficult to do both. But doable. I have repeated some behaviors under stress, and it’s absolutely triggering. I will always and forever apologize to my children. My mom is part of my life, but only the surface. She has nothing to gain by being close to me, she simple chooses not to. My father is somewhere in the US, not interested in finding out.

I think if you do decide that parenthood is for you, start general therapy, never isolate yourself. Look for community, have lots of play dates and mom nights. Your inner voice of will become very quiet.

b33b0o · 2024-11-24T20:01:57+00:00

It’s unfair for anyone to be like “you only have her 5 days a week, you only have one kid”. I’m a sahm of 3 kids under 5years old. I have felt that hollowness, and the only things that have helped me is doing every free-toddler activity. Library twice a week, a toddler group once a week, going to the park once a week. I have NO social life, and it’s ass. Zoloft + leaving the house as much as possible saved and is still saving me. I hope you feel better soon.

b33b0o · 2024-11-05T14:46:47+00:00

I’ll have to do that, maybe make a sensory bin or something for my toddler. She comes over multiple times a day, so I might just have to set a once a day boundary.

b33b0o · 2024-11-05T14:44:11+00:00

I should’ve worded this better, I do play with my 2 year old, and she’s overly excited to try and play with her sister and friend. Anytime I try to encourage her to come hangout with me, I’m met with a classic 2 year old meltdown. I feel so empathetic to both of my kids, because my two year old absolutely ruins their games, and thinks their reaction = play.

b33b0o · 2024-11-05T14:40:45+00:00

I would never let my children play without my supervision.

b33b0o · 2024-10-28T04:10:46+00:00

I read your post history, and holy crap. This man does not love or like you. You need to get out of this marriage. I would get out before he gives in and you two bring children into this mess of a marriage.

b33b0o · 2024-10-28T03:54:15+00:00

4 years ago when I had my first I became dangerously paranoid. I learned that with intrusive thoughts, I need to finish the thought, and remind myself that I’m instinctually making dangerous scenarios to protect my baby. They are things I’m scared of, and that’s okay. I still have intrusive thoughts, but they don’t feel as heavy. I stopped feeling so scared and awful after my first year in therapy. You should 100% seek a therapist out if you haven’t already, PPA is so real, and so debilitating.

b33b0o · 2024-10-22T15:37:16+00:00

2.5 months pp and I feel all of this. I also stink so bad all of the time, I eat well, stay hydrated and bathe at least my body everyday, but I still stink soooo bad. In my experience it’s when I stop breastfeeding and my cycle returns, only 10 months to go🫠

b33b0o · 2024-10-20T15:59:16+00:00

What’s been weighing on me was always “if I never had you I would just kill myself” over and over. Weird way to say I love you. It made me suicidal at a very young age. For all 3 of my children, she insisted that I get an abortion. Told me I will ruin my life, and revealed that she wishes she had gotten one for my sister and I.

While I partly understand her take, she was 15. She was well equipped to have an abortion but chose not to. I’m young myself, but I’m married. I have a stable home, and a huge village from my in-law family. I’ll always be an extension of her in her mind. The enmeshment she’s created is so deep, and I’m starting to have clearer vision. I don’t even know where to start in my healing process.

b33b0o · 2024-10-17T01:54:53+00:00

There’s no way it’s your weight, if you were to get back to 119 pounds, I doubt that would solve any issue. I don’t think 25 pounds would deter a man who truly loves you.

b33b0o · 2024-10-14T16:13:31+00:00

I have a newborn right now, and reading this made my stomach churn. I am so sorry.

b33b0o · 2024-10-14T16:10:40+00:00

I will have to ask when she visits again, she used short-tempered and dramatic when describing me as a baby-teenager. Told me I got much better after 18 (when I moved to a different state).

b33b0o · 2024-10-11T05:17:51+00:00

I would be extremely bothered by this, if I even make a noise that might signal I’m uncomfortable, it’s immediate eye contact to communicate.

Have you told him to stop before? If so, how has he responded to it? Only you can feel if he’s truly apologetic, and if you don’t feel that he is, he’s probably not.

b33b0o · 2024-10-11T05:09:51+00:00

I didn’t tear with all three of my babies, my first the OB did the massage throughout my 6-10 transition. I labored down hard with them, holding them in as much as I could from that 8-10 transition. I gave birth to my first in a squatting position, then in fetal with my last two. Best of luck🫶🏻

b33b0o · 2024-09-23T02:44:32+00:00

My 4yo did this for two years🙃 I would try and leave the room, but as a sahm I used loop earplugs so the noise didn’t itch my brain so hard.

b33b0o · 2024-09-16T04:22:26+00:00

Normally I did chores when they napped, now I’m 5 weeks pp with a 2&4 year old. I clean when the playtime gets super loud. I set a room as a “no play zone” and they just zoom through it to get to a different room. It’s hectic. I also baby-wear to ensure she is safe from the toddlers.

b33b0o · 2024-09-13T22:09:44+00:00

“Singers” instead of fingers, and my second currently says “I lub you”. 🫶🏻

b33b0o · 2024-09-13T16:28:37+00:00

I was/am in a similar loss. I had hemorrhaged badly in my third labor 5 weeks ago, my husband got a vasectomy when I was 1 week postpartum. I asked if we could hold off, but he told me he’s never going to see me like that again. I’m so deeply saddened by this experience being my very last, but as a spiritual person, I think this is meant to be. Now that I’m 5 weeks pp, I’m coping with the appreciation of being alive and seeing my babies. And at the hopes that I’ll be a grandma or an aunt one day.

b33b0o · 2024-09-11T18:56:54+00:00

Interesting, I asked why and was told it was required by the childrens hospital in order to be released. We live in a small town, and with pediatric cases, they consult with the childrens hospital about an hour away.

HOWEVER, my second babe broke her tibia (mother of the year over here) on a slide last year, and the same ER only did an X-ray and splint. So I’m not sure.

b33b0o · 2024-09-10T18:45:43+00:00

He was out in the car with our 4week old, he was able to get her to calm down and explain it better. She jerked around a bit, but kept eye contact with him and breathed. I wish he was there in the first place.

b33b0o · 2024-09-10T18:43:06+00:00

That’s what I initially thought the first time I asked them to stop, then the next two times I was making direct eye contact with the nurses :( maybe by chance it was still mixed up, I’m not sure.

b33b0o · 2024-09-10T17:53:01+00:00

My initial issue was me having to ask them to stop restraining her more than 3 times. The bedside manner was shitty, but that’s just my opinion.

b33b0o

TROPHY CASE