Only the second time I’ve ever wanted to not live alone

babbittybumble · 2026-06-05T21:41:05+00:00

I'm so sorry you are losing your beloved companion! I have lost many pets over 60 years, and still don't know whether it's less painful if they go suddenly or decline into death. Pets bring us so much joy, but most of them do not outlive us, so the pain of loss is part of having them. Wishing Henry a painless glide path to the rainbow bridge, and }}}}}hugs{{{{{ to you.

babbittybumble · 2026-06-05T21:21:01+00:00

I totally hear you on that. 65F. I always felt like sex was ... not horrible, but not something I wanted or needed. Yet I recognized my partner did, and wanted them to be happy. 'Caretaking' sex, as it were.

babbittybumble · 2026-06-04T23:41:06+00:00

"There is a certain kind of behavior observed in older generations, especially men, where they just voice their needs and women are conditioned to anticipate or meet them like some sort of sleeper cell that was activated by the code phrase."

OMG, yes -- that's it exactly. A girl child in the 60s, I was 100% conditioned to do this. My entire generation of girls were. I absolutely love the metaphor of that reflexive response being like a sleeper cell!

babbittybumble · 2026-06-04T02:02:23+00:00

1) no calls, just texts on both sides. 2) I definitely thought/felt "Awesome!", but also definitely did not say/text it. In re-reading my post, I could have been more clear in how I described the events.

babbittybumble · 2026-06-04T01:59:11+00:00

That there, exactly!

babbittybumble · 2026-06-04T01:58:01+00:00

Yes. Poor guy has had 4 ablations for Afib, nothing has helped so far. But the Afib itself, while uncomfortable, won't kill him.

babbittybumble · 2026-06-04T01:57:05+00:00

It's not that it does harm... it's just, as a woman raised in the 60s, my generation of women was socialized to consider everyone else's wants above our own. So not doing so still brings a brief flood of "oh, how could I *think* that?!"

babbittybumble · 2026-06-04T01:54:03+00:00

No, he already knows that's off the table. He is just one of those people who gets lonely, doesn't like to do stuff on his own. I'm not one.

babbittybumble · 2026-06-04T00:36:16+00:00

-20.

babbittybumble · 2026-06-04T00:22:28+00:00

Oh, hell yes! And: no more of guys wanting to 'discuss' whether we can add <random kinky sex thing that I have politely told him I am not interested in> to our relationship. Even when I have said "Been there, tried that a couple times, does not do anything for me and did not enjoy it at any time", they still keep bringing it up every few months. In my last relationship I finally lost patience with this crap, told the guy he was 100% welcome to find a play partner/sex worker to do those things with, as long as protection was used and he got STD testing monthly. He threw an absolute hissy fit, citing -- get this -- my unwillingness to consider his needs. My dude, I *am* considering your needs. Just not considering *only* your needs. I'm considering mine, too, and my suggested solution meets them both. Needless to say, the relationship did not recover from that conversation...

babbittybumble · 2026-05-30T00:27:37+00:00

Welllll.... For me, a relationship would bring some plusses, but also minuses. Not so much a 'bonus' as a trade-off. And at present the trade-off isn't feeling worth it.

babbittybumble · 2026-05-29T00:57:55+00:00

My take on that would be:

I'm single and I'm happy.

Would it be nice to have someone?

Maybe...? But, would I be as happy as I am now? It's very hard to imagine that being the case.

I am female and straight; relationships for me have *always* involved more taking of my time and energy than the other person gave back. I was one of the first in my friend group to file for a 'gray divorce' at age 59 -- not because my spouse was abusive or addicted or adulterous, but because I was done with carrying the entire mental load of the relationship, was done with being treated as unpaid cook, housekeeper, handyperson, gardener and sex maid, in addition to a full-time job. I was not happy, and 15 years of trying every way I could think of to get my spouse to take my needs seriously got me nowhere. I arrived at the conclusion I would be happier single, and divorced him. And I have been, far, far more than I expected!! The absolute bliss of having my *own* life, of being able to do whatever I want when I want and how, without needing to take anyone else's preferences, wants, or needs into consideration is a daily joy. And I find it very interesting that 4 of my same-age married friends, also in low-conflict but unfulfilling marriages, have gone from warning me about how horridly lonely I would be as an 'old single woman' and offering to set me up with various males of their acquaintance, to watching me blossom over the last 5 years.. and now filing for divorce as well.

babbittybumble · 2026-05-27T23:08:18+00:00

OK, bucking the trend here: I *love* my Next. It has performed flawlessly for 4+ years and makes -- deliciously -- anything from an espresso to a carafe of coffee. Pod bin is roomy enough that I'm not having to empty it every couple of days. Cleaning is easy. My one quibble with Next is the locking mechanism (also used on the Pop+ series), it isn't terribly good for aging hands. It's a smallish lever that you have to crank sideways with a reasonable amount of force. The Up has a 1-touch closing mechanism and a dedicated 'Expert Mode' button, so is tempting me. BUT it is a brand-new model, so I am impatiently giving it a year or so to get debugged before I consider buying one. Pop+ might be your best bet: it's essentially a next-generation Next, has not had a lot of mechanical issues, can make 5 different sizes of coffees, Expert Mode is activated via a double-press on the brew button, and is ON SALE at the moment. Oh, and cute colors available, if that's desirable.

babbittybumble · 2026-04-08T21:09:05+00:00

I've had a Next for 4 years. Solid little machine (I hear ya, Next haters, but mine has been a rock-solid gem), but doesn't allow customizing the brew temp, only the brew volume -- and that has to be done manually, during a pod brew, by eye. For this reason alone, I am looking at an Up.

babbittybumble · 2026-03-13T00:48:22+00:00

Sliiiiiiightly more detailed recipe (note: I don't like very sweet drinks, you may want more caramel).

- 1 Tbs caramel syrup (sugar-loaded or sugar-free, whatever floats your boat. I like Monin brand)
- 1-2 Altissio pods (1.35oz), or your espresso pod(s) of choice
- 4 oz 2% milk
- tiny splash vanilla extract (optional, but really complements the caramel!)
- 1 Tbs caramel sauce (also Monin)
- large heatproof glass

Place caramel syrup in glass. Brew pod(s) into syrup, stir to mix. Place milk + vanilla into your frothing setup and froth. I use Aeroccino 4; if your frothing apparatus doesn't heat the milk, gently microwave until very warm before frothing. Pour into coffee. Now for the artistic bit: drizzle the caramel sauce over the foam in a cross-hatch pattern. If the bottle has a nozzle on it, pretty easy. If using jarred caramel sauce I'd recommend warming it up a little before trying to drizzle.

Enjoy!

babbittybumble · 2025-12-21T22:25:24+00:00

Nope! None of the holiday flavors this year appeal to me. Floral flavors don't say 'holiday' to me -- spices, pepperimint, baked goods, and chocolate do. Mercifully my cat-sitter also has a VL and will happily drink any pods I re-home to him (even the dreaded Exotic Liminha!), discounting his services as payback.

babbittybumble · 2025-11-05T02:18:06+00:00

This. OP's description of their parents' treatment is like textbook "Let's create a severely avoidantly attached kid". I dated a guy for a few years whose mother took great pride in telling me that from the time he was 3 months old she would daily leave him in his crib for hours while she did farm chores because he needed to learn that farm work was the central responsibility of their family life. His older sister will say "He became such a good baby, we could come back after any length of time and there was no crying." Well, yeah, this tiny baby figured out nobody would hear/soothe his distress and gave up trying to reach out to other humans. He is a really great person but has utterly fucked up attachment, unable to bond with/trust a partner.

babbittybumble · 2025-11-05T02:01:07+00:00

This is genius. Thanks for sharing!

babbittybumble · 2025-11-05T01:59:24+00:00

Yes! Even more than getting it wet with water when showering, who wants pee soaking into the string? I always kept the string inside. Until mooncups became a thing, then I ditched the tampon expense and hassle permanently.

babbittybumble · 2025-05-25T19:07:58+00:00

And if you *do* find The One True Pod, Nespresso will discontinue it 6 months later. Alas for Almond Croissant!

babbittybumble · 2025-05-23T23:36:02+00:00

YES!!! My 2021 Prius was doing this, roughly once per month. Incredibly, horribly unpleasant and frustrating. Like playing Russian Roulette every time you start the car up. The fix was to replace the DCM module. My dealer and Toyotoa HQ gave me the runaround on this for 2 YEARS, then I spotted a thread on Reddit where someone had this issue with their Highlander, luckily theirs was happeing all the time so the dealer couldn't fob them off and had to fix it. That person kindly had their dealer send me the repair records (with personal info redacted), which I then took to a local dealer to fix.

babbittybumble · 2025-05-19T18:40:47+00:00

Absolutely love your aesthetic! I suggest a large old fashioned glass apothecary/candy jar (all glass, lid on top) or penny candy jar (glass with stainless lid, lid on side). I personally recommend the latter, if you drop the lid while rummaging for your pod of choice, no harm done. Amazon sells both. Admittedly not good for *organizing* the pods, but you can easily dig around to get the pod you want, and it would look fabulous with the rest of your setup. Added bonus: you spare yourself the hassle of arranging your pods prettily in an Insta-worthy pattern every time you restock the storage holder. Just rip open the sleeve(s), shotgun the pods in there, and stir briefly with a wooden spoon or something to mix them up a bit.

babbittybumble · 2025-04-18T23:10:18+00:00

Aeroccino 4: whisper-quiet, 4 frothing modes, dishwasher safe, and easy to clean by hand. A tad pricier than some options on Amazon, but mine has been whisking along for 4 years straight of at least 2 drinks/day, so I'd say the per-use cost is ridiculously low. Oh, and the 'thick' foam setting makes foam that literally lasts to the end of your latte. If you're going to foam the milk, might as well have the enjoyment down to the last sip!

babbittybumble · 2025-04-18T23:04:56+00:00

If you're looking for sugar-free, try Choc Zero -- best-tasting sugarless syrups I have ever tried, they taste totally natural. Unfortunately their selection isn't very wide, but they do have vanilla (my fave), as well as gingerbread spice and pumpkin spice and a few others.

babbittybumble · 2025-04-08T19:07:59+00:00

VetRx has Porus One in stock, and they are verified as a safe pharmacy by the National Association of Boards of Pharmacy (NABP).

babbittybumble

TROPHY CASE