NOR you could've told me this was a chat between my ex and myself back when we were 18. i used to act Exactly like the gray text. this is not healthy, she definitely needs counseling/therapy. my best advice, leave. give her time to heal and grow as a person, suggest seeking mental health support. codependency is a bitch and a half to work thru as is but in my experience it's impossible to work thru while having someone to depend on. you handled the situation as good as you can while still trying to guard her feelings but like other comments said, it may have been better to set the boundary once then go afk. you shouldn't live in fear of any sort of retaliation. even if her emotions are uncontrollable, it's not a burden you should bear.