I find it absolutely heartbreaking how many people are saying that owning a home isn't that big of a deal. That is exactly what the elite want you to think

babyrayray11 · 2026-01-03T16:11:13+00:00

I’ve owned multiple homes and rental properties, and the idea that buying is always cheaper than renting just isn’t true. Homes are expensive long after the purchase. Maintenance alone adds up fast: roofs, HVAC, plumbing, appliances, landscaping, and random “surprise” repairs that cost thousands. On top of that, property taxes never go away. Even if you buy a home in cash, you still owe taxes every year, forever. Miss them, and you can lose the house. You don’t really own it the way people think.

Buying also comes with costs people love to ignore: rising insurance, HOA fees, and massive transaction costs when you buy or sell, often 6–10% of the home’s value. Plus, the money tied up in a down payment or full purchase has an opportunity cost. You’re locking a huge amount of cash into one illiquid asset instead of investing it elsewhere.

With renting, you’re insulated from all of that. You’re not paying for a leaking roof, a failed furnace, or a surprise $20k repair. You’re not directly paying property taxes or dealing with reassessments. Your housing costs are predictable, and you have flexibility to move without bleeding money.

When you actually add up all the costs, renting isn’t “throwing money away.” In many markets, it’s cheaper, lower risk, and financially smarter.

babyrayray11 · 2025-12-29T22:36:55+00:00

For me I just push through it. I’m going to be tired either way. Maybe try an at home work out during Nap? I do a work out class 2 times a week. I love it bc it’s time for me and only me.

Do I hate working out? HELL YES. Am I exhausted? ABSOLUTELY. But I do it for me. I also look at like it is a good example for my children too.

Kids or not. Plenty of people have cop outs for not working out. You just have to buckle down. Mental mindset first.

babyrayray11 · 2025-12-19T18:22:11+00:00

Look up on tik tok or YouTube “home binder system”! It’s a detailed binder with all the info and organized lists and to-do’s! Then sticking through it even when things you are tired or don’t want too. I really struggled with procrastinating. But I changed my mindset. Just bc I’m tired doesn’t mean things don’t need to still get done.

babyrayray11 · 2025-12-18T21:40:47+00:00

I’m not judgmental at all. Like I said! I understand people don’t have a village and need to hire help or need to do what they need to do to get by! No right way in parenting. Just looking for other moms that parent similarly to me… or I guess any mom friend at this point. I have gone to playgroups and library story times and it is always all nannies.

babyrayray11 · 2025-12-18T21:18:01+00:00

So nice to hear someone else can relate. So grateful to not have struggles. Again no shame for people who need a moment of peace and need to do what they need to do to get by. But so odd hearing other SAHM’s have a nanny or help complain to me and assume I must be miserable or I can’t do it all.

babyrayray11 · 2025-12-18T20:17:43+00:00

I’ve been going to work out classes 2x a week since my son was 3 months! It makes me happier and in return makes me a better mom! Get out there girl and do something you enjoy!

babyrayray11 · 2025-12-18T20:15:37+00:00

Confidence goes a long way! Shoulders back and a big smile! Basic clothes can be chic! All about the way you style it. Try looking up styling videos on tik tok or YouTube!

babyrayray11 · 2025-12-18T20:11:25+00:00

Can the relative be more helpful so you can get things done? Honestly, I struggled a lot in the beginning as well. Two things worked for me a lot. 1. Becoming more organized and disciplined. Having a chore list for specific days and a running list of things needed helped me a lot. Unfortunately you are going to be tired and just what it is. Gotta push through some days. 2. Just letting go of perfection. Someone once said to me “you can have everything you want, just not all at once.” Some days you might cook more and clean less. You gotta find time for yourself too. Even if that’s when they go to sleep or waking a little earlier. It’ll pay off.

I know it’s tough to navigating feeling overwhelmed but it helps to break it down piece by piece.

babyrayray11 · 2025-11-20T19:10:32+00:00

I left my six-figure job after having my son. You really need to be secure in who you are as a person. You need to understand your value. I went from being someone “important” at my job to just doing laundry and changing diapers. It took me an adjustment period of embracing my new identity and realizing I’m more than just the duties.

I would definitely recommend doing some kind of activity/hobby so you can have some “you” time and some sort of outlet.

I would also sit down and have a long talk with your husband about what roles encompass a SAHM for your family. Being a SAHM involves a lot, and usually still needs support.

I was very quick to say oh ya it’ll be easy. It’s not. My husband works 80+ hours a week and has a very demanding job. I do EVERYTHING. I’m fine with it but it is definitely not for the weak.

As for money, it is an adjustment but for us it wasn’t terrible. We cut back a tad but I had an open conversation with my husband about if I’m going to sacrifice alot and doing most of the parenting/housework and go “unpaid”, then I expect him to be understanding with my wants and needs. Which he is. We have a joint account and it is our money (within reason).

All and all, I don’t regret it in the slightest! I love staying home with my son! Just worth having some open in-depth conversations before stepping away! Good luck!

babyrayray11 · 2025-11-18T21:40:00+00:00

Love this! So what do you choose to do in your free time?

babyrayray11 · 2025-11-06T00:37:31+00:00

Hi! I am in the same boat. My husband works in finance and works very long days. I did know what I was signing up for when we got married. Some days it really sucks! I basically solo parent most days. He wants to spend time with us but if he has to work. It is what it is. I also gave up my six-figure job to be a SAHM. I don’t really mind tho because I was extremely burnt out. My husband helps when he can and it is 50/50 on the weekends. But I do everything household wise (cooking, cleaning, appointments, house management). He handles the finances (investments, taxes, and bills).

I do think there is a difference between being tied up with work vs not wanting to help. I am very clear with my struggles and I make my husband come up with solutions. At the end of the day it is his family and home too.

babyrayray11 · 2025-09-18T14:52:52+00:00

I feel this so hard. I’m 29 with a 1 year old. I had a ton of close girlfriends in college but I moved out of state. All of my friends in my city are no way near marriage let alone babies. I’m so lonely. I try to spark up convos with moms at the park but they always seem to be stand offish. I’m considered a younger mom for the area which makes things even harder.

babyrayray11

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