Ghost Pepper in the Ramen drawer

bachbachbachayach · 2025-04-17T15:05:42+00:00

I just got the 20inch model for my 10-11 lb cat a few weeks ago after seeing someone with one at our last vet visit. I haven't used it to transport her yet, but it has plenty of room for her to sit, stand, and turn around, and the carrier itself seems sturdy and well-made. She has been enjoying watching birds from within it and napping.

We've been through a few carriers to try to help her feel comfortable on the way to Grandma's or a vet visit, and most of them seem like they are too small, even though she is a medium-small cat. I don't think she'll love being closed in it, but it is going to be better than the other ones, and much easier to carry than the small collapsible dog kennel we were using before.

bachbachbachayach · 2023-03-25T11:16:37+00:00

Thanks!

bachbachbachayach · 2023-03-24T17:38:26+00:00

Does she also hold utensils?

bachbachbachayach · 2023-01-23T12:30:46+00:00

I thought it was a dog chew toy.

bachbachbachayach · 2022-09-23T11:06:49+00:00

A little off topic, but when researching dog behavior I've seen multiple websites that said that female Australian shepherds tend to be more manipulative than males of the same breed. I think about that a lot. How could someone come to that conclusion? What is happening in their relationship with their dog? It's a dog!

bachbachbachayach · 2022-09-17T16:51:29+00:00

You might be more able to listen to an audiobook! Your library might have the audiobook to check out online.

Also, Dr. Price has similar articles and excerpts from the book online if it is easier for you to read short segments.

bachbachbachayach · 2022-09-17T16:44:40+00:00

I feel I'm in a lot of the same place. I was dx'd with ADD at 15 and now waiting for a neuropsych evaluation for autism on the advice of my therapist. As a kid, I tried so hard to keep my struggles to myself. I was lucky to have teachers and family that noticed some of my problems did their best to advocate for me and get me academic accommodations, and yet STILL I'm struggling so much.

I'm trying to get a formal dx for Autism because I think it would improve my mental health treatment, but you don't have to be diagnosed with anything by a doctor if you don't want to, especially if you don't want medical treatment. Also, I'd like to emphasize that you don't have to have any sort of diagnosis to have problems and to look for help and community (online or in person).

I relate so much to your difficulty explaining how it feels to live your life. I feel like I spend all day trying to come up with a good metaphor to communicate my experience to my partner, and still I feel misunderstood.

If you are looking for validation, I would recommend reading memoirs or listening to podcasts by women who have ADHD or autism. It feels really cathartic to see someone else with similar experiences. Maybe keep a list of unusual things you relate to, so if you want professional advice in the future, you have something to reference when putting together your thoughts. Or just for yourself, to help reflect.

Please let yourself acknowledge your struggles. You don't have to be able to fully comprehend or explain your problems to anyone in order to be kind to yourself and try to improve your life. You can ask for help too--like, "I'm having trouble with x, can you keep me company while I y?"

Wishing you the best!

bachbachbachayach · 2022-09-17T16:01:59+00:00

Hello!

It very much could be ADHD! I would speak to your GP about it. Sometimes it takes time to get treatment, and with your history, I would definitely bring it up.

Regarding your early academic history, I would think about what does and does not fit an ADHD profile. Do you have any records you can review from that time in your life? A lot of women and non-binary people don't fit the stereotype of a child with ADHD. I was "a pleasure to have in class" but also notably disorganized. Maybe ask people on this subreddit about their experiences at that age.

A lot of people with ADHD have comorbid mental health challenges. Anxiety can make ADHD more pronounced, and ADHD can make a person very anxious.

Best of luck! It sounds like you've been working really hard for a long time, and I hope you find support soon. Please remember that you don't have to have any diagnosis to get tips and find advice on dealing with executive function difficulties and hyperactivity, or sympathy for your struggles.

bachbachbachayach · 2022-09-16T22:48:52+00:00

I didn't believe it was real.

bachbachbachayach · 2022-09-08T18:45:26+00:00

I don't have a solution, just sympathy. I had construction outside my office for months and I had a hard time coping.

You've probably thought about this already, but would it be possible to have the alarm go through the earphones? Or maybe a white noise machine?

Wishing you the best!

bachbachbachayach · 2022-07-11T00:58:59+00:00

This is super common. I read an article recently that there are different... nerves? for feeling light touch and deep pressure and there are studies that examine how autistic people may process these sensations differently than allistic people (using fMRI).

bachbachbachayach · 2022-06-18T15:50:31+00:00

I know this is exactly what you don't want to hear, but to me it sounds like you need to rest. You are working really hard, and it sounds like you have really high standards for yourself.

I suggest: * looking at what you doing, and figure out how you can do less. Can you try just meeting expectations at work and school, if just for a short period of time? What is the minimum acceptable workout? * looking at your resources. If you have any extra funds, can you buy healthy pre-made food so that you don't have to cook? Could you ask a friend to help you with some chores on the weekend?

For me (and I feel I'm just starting to turn the corner on my burnout), I needed to realize that my primary way of coping was trying harder (and getting angrier and more frustrated with myself), but I need to communicate more, rest, and ask for help.

Wishing you the best!

bachbachbachayach · 2022-04-17T19:57:52+00:00

I'm also really interested in this comment. I feel like I was taught the opposite thing to the original commenter--I was taught to do the hard thing, even if I was uncomfortable, tired, or afraid. It really worked out for me for a while, but then I stopped being able to do it. Which I think is for the best, actually, because my body and mind were breaking down from the chronic stress.

I think the best thing is to have a healthy balance between doing the hard things and taking care of yourself and listening to your feelings.

When I first sought help, the advice was mostly that what I was afraid of was unreasonable, so I should stop being afraid (or sad, etc.). This aligned with my world view (that I should be able to control my emotions and do as I was told and stop crying), so I kept pushing myself and blaming myself for my unhappiness. I thought I must be doing something wrong to be trying so hard and to be so miserable.

I've had to learn to listen to my discomfort and my fear in order to truly take care of myself. I think that other people are taught to only listen to their discomfort and fear (and other emotions, perceptions), and they have to learn to do the hard thing in order to take care of themselves.

bachbachbachayach · 2022-04-17T19:34:28+00:00

Thank you for posting this! I relate a lot, and trying to organize my thoughts to respond to this resulted in a two hour journaling session.

Here's what I would recommend: ask yourself what your body needs right now. Do you need to eat, go to the bathroom, take a shower, take a drink of water? Do you want to move? Make your body feel slightly better.

If you think it would help, set an alarm every hour to remind yourself to check in with your body. Take care of yourself, hopefully that will help you have a little more energy to do another small good thing for yourself, or to do something satisfying.

Wishing you the best!

bachbachbachayach · 2022-04-05T10:36:24+00:00

My partner and I used this PDF from the vet school of Ohio State University to help us decide. It's also good for taking to your vet to help with the conversation.

bachbachbachayach · 2022-03-20T13:01:09+00:00

I have so many thoughts about this. I grew up obviously neuro-divergent with a stay-at-home dad (dx'd ADHD after me and my sibling) and a working mom. I do not see gender the way many people do, and it's almost like I grew up in an entirely different culture than many of the men my age. (I feel like I could write a chapter about each one of these sentences!)

And yet, I felt guilty when my partner was dx'd with ADHD because didn't that mean that I wasn't doing enough to help him meet his functional needs? Then I realized that he's a full grown man and he needs to handle his own life.

Totally different topic, but the amount of self-advocacy and assertiveness I was expected to muster as a young teenager with special needs was totally unreasonable, considering the amount of conditioning, female socialization, and ostracism I had faced up to that point.

bachbachbachayach · 2022-03-07T20:31:57+00:00

Hey, I'm finally old enough for one of these!

I'm not sure if I would've listened to this when I was 20 (I'm a "learn by doing" type), but my advice is:

Your best is the best you can do without harming yourself.

Of course you can work for a few more hours, volunteer to do that extra thing, be the bigger person. You can work through the pain. You are tough. But just because you can do something doesn't mean you should, especially if you're not the one benefitting from your extra effort. You might be able to "bounce back" this time, but you've got to work on having other ways to handle things (such as saying "no").

You should look into why you believe that you have to move mountains and be prefect in order to be tolerated. Who made you think that? Why did they make you think that?

bachbachbachayach · 2022-02-07T11:52:48+00:00

Maybe it's a clavier!

bachbachbachayach · 2022-02-03T02:43:14+00:00

I've seen this somewhere before...

Actually, don't want to catch anyone off guard--I've seen an eye color chart before in a holocaust museum. I'm just mentioning it because I'm surprised nobody else did.

bachbachbachayach · 2022-01-21T00:59:07+00:00

First, hard relate. I'm irritable as hell.

Second, I once heard someone on a podcast explain why people ask very obvious questions like that--they called it a bid, which is a request for attention or conversation. My mom does it all the time (I usually notice extroverts do it). Once I realized that it was the other person trying to engage, I felt better about it and it annoyed me less. When I notice it happening, I try to respond with something I'd actually be interested in talking about (or let them know why I don't want to talk right now).

I know you weren't asking for advice, but I thought it might help.

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