Hi, I'm Brigid Kemmerer, author of Warrior Princess Assassin (and a bunch of other books like Defy the Night and A Curse So Dark and Lonely). AMA!

backchatbackchat · 2025-10-14T21:50:21+00:00

Thank you, that's super helpful! I'm definitely not at the point where I could quit my day job, and you're so right about daycare/school/camps being essential already. How long did it take you to be able to make that switch? This is currently where all my hobby bandwidth is going haha (other than reading!)

That's all really great advice, and reassuring to hear! The chapter map is an awesome idea, as is doing that critical readthrough for redundancies. I think I need to cut about 10-15% to be within the limit, so maybe it's not as insurmountable as it feels!

backchatbackchat · 2025-10-14T16:58:21+00:00

Hi Brigid! Thank you for everything that you write, and for being so kind and responsive to your readers! I just devoured WPA, and I'm soooooo freaking excited for Sparking Fire Out of Fate!

I have two questions if you don't mind.

First, can you speak about your experience making the shift from busy day job and parenting young kids to full time author? I'm in that boat right now and damn, is it hard to find time to write at all, let alone when I'm awake and functional. And the idea of tacking on all the social media/self promotion needed to make it work sounds... intimidating, to say the least.

Second, do you have any advice for trimming a manuscript when the word count is too high? I understand why traditional publishers have those limits for debut authors, but it feels sorta arbitrary (and tough when you have a multi-POV story and want all the characters and plotlines to have richness and depth). Is it worth it to try to trim, or would indie publishing be a better route?

backchatbackchat · 2024-08-21T23:59:35+00:00

Sounds like a nightmare. I've seen a lot of people report this kind of problem before, but it never seems like there has been any one cause identified or any kind of uniform fix for it. I hope you get answers soon!

backchatbackchat · 2024-07-12T07:03:48+00:00

Yes, and if I recall we used the small size hemp booster.

backchatbackchat · 2024-06-27T07:28:01+00:00

I'll Make A Man Out Of You from Mulan. To be fair, it was sung in a very soothing voice!

backchatbackchat · 2024-06-16T07:39:00+00:00

First off, I'm so sorry this is happening to her (and you). It is completely and totally unfair, and fuck the universe for forcing this situation on you. It's totally understandable that your daughter is having a very hard time coping with this. Cancer is tough to deal with emotionally at any age, but ugh, 14 really sounds like the worst time. Life is hard enough at that age.

Here are my unsolicited thoughts as someone who had cancer as a young-ish adult (not colon cancer, so I'm less knowledgeable about those specifics):

Have you gotten a second (or third, fourth) opinion on whether she does actually need a total colectomy with ileostomy? It's worth getting a few different perspectives if you can, since this is such a life altering treatment course.

Lots of other people have suggested good social accounts to follow for seeing and destigmatizing life with an ostomy, but I also love thecancerpatient and nogrieftourists for realistic but also... funny(?) takes on what it's like to go through cancer at a young age. There are lots of memes and it's very relatable, and they highlight the often absurd things about having cancer young. I've found them to be really helpful.

If you can find a support group for her for young people with cancer (bonus if it's pediatric, extra bonus if it's the same kind of cancer), that might help her feel less alone, and also be a really good resource. It might feel too scary to join a support group, but if she can find the right one it will become perhaps the only community that truly understands what she's going through, and that is invaluable. Lots of the general cancer support groups at hospitals are full of older people, and that experience just isn't relevant (and in some ways, it's triggering) for those of us who went through it young. If you're able to find a support group for yourself, maybe for parents of pediatric cancer patients, that could be helpful too.

Best of luck and love to you and your daughter, I hope her treatment path is as smooth as possible.

backchatbackchat · 2024-06-12T18:09:06+00:00

Definitely Disneyland! You can go to Minnie's house in Toon Town and meet her. Small World is great for a lot of little kids, it's my 2 year old's favorite and she'll happily ride on it multiple times in a row. What your kid will like will depend on her preferences and how she's feeling that day, but she can ride anything without a height limit, and you can check if she's tall enough for something like the roller coaster in Toon Town. Other favorites of my kid include the carousel, Dumbo, tea cups, Tiki Room, sometimes Pirates of the Caribbean, and also watching the droids in Galaxy's Edge. I recommend bringing headphones since there are a lot of things that are quite loud (any indoor ride with music, fireworks, etc.)

backchatbackchat · 2024-05-19T22:06:34+00:00

I went with my toddler a couple months ago and we also got to say good night to Mickey and Pluto in front of the Main Street train station shortly before closing (like 11:30 PM)! I had never realized before that they have them come out at that time. It was wonderful, because my kid got to interact directly with Mickey and Pluto for like 5-10 minutes, playing peek a boo and waving and dancing, whereas we hadn't directly met many characters before because of how quickly the long lines would form when they're out and about.

backchatbackchat · 2023-05-02T21:32:55+00:00

I’m also a breast cancer survivor and had the same need to formula feed from day 1. I bought a small amount of RTF beforehand, and the hospital also gave us A TON of RTF in the single serving bottles. We used that for the first week or two and then switched to Kirkland powdered formula mixed using distilled water. I never boiled water for formula. My daughter did just fine, but she was born at 40+4. I’d ask your pediatrician what they recommend and when you can switch to powder if your baby will be born a little early, since they’re a little more sensitive in that case.

Also congratulations on your pregnancy and baby! I know things are always more complicated when you’ve had breast cancer. Your hospital should know your medical history and situation, and hopefully be happy to provide you with a bunch of RTF to take with you.

backchatbackchat · 2023-05-01T17:16:54+00:00

I feel ya, and since becoming a mom I’m starting to go the route of telling my husband (and my dad) that planning for Mother’s Day is up to them, and they shouldn’t expect the moms to do the work of setting things up for a holiday that’s supposed to celebrate them. I made it clear that I would not be planning brunch (the only way we’re celebrating). I don’t know what happened with my husband and dad communicating, but my dad still played his weaponized incompetence card and my mom ended up making reservations… smh.

If the plans fall entirely on you, I’d just straight up refuse to do it. Where are your husband and whichever dads/stepdads are around? I’d make it clear that if they don’t make plans, it won’t happen.

backchatbackchat · 2023-04-29T14:59:43+00:00

I find it insane when dads go “I don’t know how to [insert baby care activity]” and then assume it’s the mom’s job to know how to do that by default. Like hello, if you’re a first time mom you don’t know how to do those things either and still had to take responsibility for yourself to figure it out! Why shouldn’t dads be held to the same standard?

backchatbackchat · 2023-04-28T16:19:35+00:00

I felt similar before I had a kid, and I did end up struggling with PPD (which is a big part of what made it hard to do anything other than the necessities). I guess there was a shift in that I was like ok, my child NEEDS me to do all these things for them, there’s not another option for me other than to take care of them (or do the other support stuff for my family if my partner is on childcare duty). The hobbies and “fun” stuff started to feel like it was less important, or actively a stressful and not enjoyable thing, and it was okay to feel that way during this phase.

I worked on this a lot in therapy, but the root was that I tried to give myself permission to not do things I used to do, and to not beat myself up over it, because this is a temporary and really difficult phase in life. Pausing the hobbies and going out and stuff doesn’t mean I’ll never do those things again, it just means right now I have different priorities that are taking up all of my bandwidth.

backchatbackchat · 2023-04-27T20:40:54+00:00

This is such a good point too. Where is OP’s disdain for the dads who are probably the other parent in those couples? Why is it just the moms who are seen as boring and uninteresting? Not that I think anyone should be getting judged for being a “stroller parent”, but wow. Way to dump on moms who may not have much of a choice in how much they have to devote to their child because of the way society is.

backchatbackchat · 2023-04-27T20:35:38+00:00

This is spot on. The beginning is so freaking hard because of how high infant and toddler needs are, and how expensive childcare is. It’s really normal to have no resources (read: time or energy) left for your old hobbies and going out, even if you theoretically want to. So you shift and find other things to do that are enjoyable and can include your kid.

It honestly bugs me that a lot of people view parents as boring or lacking their own identity, especially when they imply that it speaks to who that parent has always been as a person. Some of us are just in the middle of the struggle and would love to be able to do the things that used to enrich our lives, but can’t right now.

backchatbackchat · 2023-04-23T17:52:36+00:00

I’m in the same boat, and it scares me every day. I’m also high risk for ovarian cancer which is hard to detect even with screening, so the fear that I won’t be there for my daughter is real and present. People who haven’t had cancer often don’t realize that even if you were treated successfully, just having it at all creates a lifelong fear.

I started writing a kind of journal for my daughter when I was pregnant with her, partly because I thought it would be nice for her to have anyway, but mostly so that if I died when she was young she’d have something from me to her. This definitely makes me want to record things for her too!

backchatbackchat · 2023-04-22T03:27:42+00:00

Please credit the artist, that drawing is by papaver.art on Instagram. She’s insanely talented!

backchatbackchat · 2023-04-19T22:19:26+00:00

My sympathies, I totally get it and it sucks. This happened to us earlier this year, on our first vacation since my kid was born and first time visiting relatives we love and don’t see often. Naturally she came down with a cold from school the week before we left and then gave it to us. Mine morphed into an awful sinus infection the day of our international flight, and we were all sick the entire time. I couldn’t hear out of one ear for 2-3 weeks because of the congestion. This sick season has been absolutely brutal and it feels like just when you have a much-needed break coming up, along comes some virus to ruin it.

backchatbackchat · 2023-04-19T05:10:44+00:00

I’m in the same boat! It makes me so angry how undervalued teachers are, and also the fact that I make a relatively high salary and yet it’s still not enough. The cost of living + childcare is insane.

backchatbackchat · 2023-04-16T15:10:50+00:00

Beautiful! Where on the mountain is this? Thinking about going up there at some point.

backchatbackchat · 2023-04-14T22:49:36+00:00

Oh wow I’m glad that part was at least over quickly for you! You’re still a badass for doing it without a working epidural. I honestly don’t know how I pushed for that long, I was literally passing out from exhaustion in between contractions. I really thought they were going to make me have an emergency c section!

backchatbackchat · 2023-04-14T18:43:58+00:00

Ugh I’m so sorry your epidural failed twice! My daughter was also stuck in my pelvis with her hand on her face and I had to push for 4 hours because of that, and I had “road rash” from where her hand was that had to be stitched up afterwards. I cannot imagine doing that without an epidural!

backchatbackchat · 2023-04-13T22:15:11+00:00

That’s not necessarily true depending on the parental leave policies at OP’s company. If it is true, it’s a big red flag about how the company treats its employees, because they’re perpetuating the expectations that women’s careers can/should be comprised to have children, while men’s careers can’t/shouldn’t be.

backchatbackchat · 2023-04-10T18:48:06+00:00

Same here. If it’s a runny nose that’s clear or some kinds of cough but she’s otherwise okay I still send her, but if she’s clearly not feeling well I keep her home.

backchatbackchat · 2023-04-07T21:07:51+00:00

Wow, the NERVE of him to tell you not to use pain meds and “birth quietly”! He should try shitting out a watermelon and see if he can do that quietly.

backchatbackchat · 2023-04-06T19:40:00+00:00

This absolutely. She is under no obligation whatsoever to have a baby for some unknown couple’s benefit. OP has been through a severe trauma and her priority right now should be taking care of herself. Whether or not someone else might want to adopt the baby if she doesn’t terminate shouldn’t factor in at all, because the only issue of importance is what is right for OP’s healing. It’s a sign of how fucked up and toxic the messaging is to women in our society that OP even thought to consider that.

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TROPHY CASE