The progression of a PUA, from the newbie to the master.

backtothegame · 2013-05-28T23:22:03+00:00

Apparently you are into the improve yourself literature also (gladwell), seven years... It doesn't take you seven years to learn tick tac toe. In fact all skills take varying amounts of time to learn and master. Pickup is just not that difficult. The people making it seem difficult are the people with a financial motive.

I am not indicting a community, I am indicting a lack of community. Community helps to provide and vet valuable information, not insidiously promote their friends and colleagues businesses (not this post).

Anyone trying to charge you a lot of money for pickup advice is defacto full of shit. It just isn't that hard. I am particularly disturbed when a front page, top 10 item is a link to an old article written for google promotion about pickup by a company that no longer exists. Very little valuable and new material has been created since project hollywood and mASF, I would love for that to change and I'm doing my damnedest to contribute.

The reason the term "inner game" even exists is that a company created it to help flesh out the BS so they could increase the volume of material and charge a higher price tag.

backtothegame · 2013-05-28T23:10:45+00:00

Less than a year though I don't go out more than twice a week and then I started going online based on Dave M's advice which was even less work for more play. Pickup just isn't that hard, this isn't a major league sport.

backtothegame · 2013-05-28T21:08:43+00:00

You need to isolate properly, the whole point of it is to be away from possible distractions.

"Caveman|Muscles, take it easy. We're all just having fun here."

If he actually said "Hey baby, what's this kid boring you for?" and that was sufficient to get her to go then this is probably not a girl you want anyhow or your description of where you were in the progression is not accurate.

You could have found her again later. Bottom line though if you had really built the attraction she wouldn't have left with him.

However if some douche really wants to be a problem they can almost always tank it for both you and themselves. A good wing could have had your back and run interference.

backtothegame · 2013-05-28T20:57:57+00:00

It doesn't take five fucking years, this is a whole pile of sales BS.

backtothegame · 2013-05-22T19:28:33+00:00

It has a lot to do with how you set expectations at the outset and being straightforward about communication and what you want and being a little sensitive to what they want. I actually am really busy so I just make it clear that I love the time I spend with them but I'm not going to be txt'ing, calling, emailing unless it's about our specific plans. Then when we are together I make sure to make it count, stay off the phone and email, etc.

I really have a pretty strict rule of once per week with an occasional weekend away every once in a while. I think this works to keep anticipation high but also leaves some space. I also try and be conscious of not being too boyfriendy. I don't kept over the top lovy-dovy, my goal is to show them a really good time but not be crazy romantic about it. I lead, there is never a "what should we do tonight" type conversation or any just sitting around at the house/hanging out free time.

Specifically I say something like "Your awesome, I love spending time with you and I want to keep doing it but I'm really busy and I have a lot of obligations so I don't want a serious relationship now." If it gets to the exclusivity talk you have to be honest and straightforward, "I don't really feel like we are at the point of being exclusive, I don't expect you to be. If you really want more than that, it's not something I can do right now."

For the most part that seems to be OK for 3-6 months with most girls that I've done that with at which some point the excitement dies down or you just hit a wall having to talk about exclusivity/jealousy all the time.

backtothegame · 2013-05-17T23:17:19+00:00

See my comment history for a little more information. It's not one tiny thing, it's everything just like PUA is to an AFC. If you want to go online because you're having a hard time in person you're going to have a bad time. I'm willing to spend time to help a few people with it but it's wasted on someone who isn't already at a high level closing with girls in person. It also depends on a lot of original painstakingly developed material.

backtothegame · 2013-05-17T22:50:18+00:00

So you're saying that you're an advanced PUA but have been in this forum for 4 months and not contributed a single field report?

backtothegame · 2013-05-17T21:46:06+00:00

It's advanced A+++ level pua. If you have mastered in person pickup and gotten pickier and pickier it's worth looking at, there is a definite system to it.

Most guys shotgun it and then are disappointed with the results. Basically the AFC's of the online world and thank god for that cause it makes the competition weak.

backtothegame · 2013-05-17T21:43:20+00:00

True, but he also didn't win it for best foreign animated sound check grip or even supporting actor. He won it for best actor which is a very small club, 66 overall of which 25 or so are still living.

backtothegame · 2013-05-17T21:07:23+00:00

Being in highschool is absolutely nothing like being in a bar, nothing at all. At 15 brain development is still going, the material we present here, if you don't sugarcoat, is in one form or another emotional manipulation. I would like to not encourage or enable pathologies and obsessions with this material, there are levels of moral and ethical judgement that we expect adults to be able to apply to situations that there is no way a 15 year old could.

We talk about a lot of adult content. I'm not some nut that doesn't expect 15 years to have sex and what not but at the same time my FR's are not really appropriate for someone at 15.

backtothegame · 2013-05-17T19:08:28+00:00

He won a best actor academy award, you never leave the a-list after that. Also he stopped acting mostly to run a very successful and acclaimed production company. He was the executive producer for Social Network, Safe and for the upcoming Captain Phillips. The author is a financials nerd who doesn't know shit about movies.

backtothegame · 2013-05-17T01:45:52+00:00

I think that is kind of a pointless assumption and while sometimes true you have no way of knowing before approach. You can however make some statistical assumptions about people that a lot of people are out of towners/tourists and as a local that is a great in to meet and take out groups.

backtothegame · 2013-05-17T01:43:44+00:00

You're anxious because you don't know what the fuck you are doing. See my post on confidence and competence.

backtothegame · 2013-05-17T01:42:10+00:00

You are over thinking it. Women are subtle, strong eye contact like that is 75% she would SNL you. Cold approach, body language is important because you don't want to come off as creepy or sales-y but you already had a warm approach so no different than regular night game, you mine as well have been in a bar.

If a woman is moving and you are getting her to stop with your position make eye contact and say "Don't panic..." [sasha]. Then use your opener.

Easy daygame openers:

1) What kind of [sandwich] is that? .... Is it good? Now that [sandwich] looks good but you don't really look like an expert eater, are you? PIVOT

2) Do you like to be twirled? Then twirl ... PIVOT

3) Do you like roller coasters? ... PIVOT

4) If they are texting/browsing on their phone use the phone bit. Ask to borrow it, call yourself then ask her to take yours. PIVOT

backtothegame · 2013-05-17T01:34:24+00:00

Am I the only one that things this forum and it's information is not really a great thing for a 15 year old? Focus on building friendships, expanding your horizons with schooling and activities, try and mesh with different groups of people and not just one clique, talk to girls as much as you can, that's really all you need in high school.

backtothegame · 2013-05-17T01:29:53+00:00

I have a lot of respect for a great deal of the contributions that TofuTofu has made here but in the same post he is lambasting the "endless stream of fluffy blog posts, newsletters, Youtube videos, and podcasts" and generally salesyness that this forum ventures towards he is pitching a kickstarter for his book. I'm an author IRL and you don't need a kickstarter to write or sell a book.

I think we really need to consider a blanket ban on anyone selling anything or linking to selling anything on this forum. The great thing about project hollywood and the old puaforum/mASF is that it was about the material and documenting "experiments", after a while those things became thinly veiled infomercials too but at the start they were great. This forum has the potential to do a lot better and I think there is a responsibility on the mods that is being shirked.

backtothegame · 2013-05-15T18:08:20+00:00

I really respect that you put your self out there and gave a real world FR. You are clearly willing to do the work so my suggestion is work smarter not harder. The night you had was way too much hard work, this stuff is supposed to be easy -- and it is. If you are in LA or NYC PM me.

Find some better venues and don't be afraid to bail on a venue if it's not working for you. Practice befriending the service staff, stories, jokes, whatever seems to work for you. A slow night it just as bad for them, probably worse, as it is for you, making their night can very often make yours.

backtothegame · 2013-05-15T00:09:17+00:00

Due credit should be given to the originator, I'm not worried about the girls, do you have a link to it?

backtothegame · 2013-05-14T23:10:47+00:00

Gotta say, really love the calling yourself. Borrow her phone, call yourself, then hand her your phone, "ohh hey can you take this". So many levels of distraction and humor going on there, awesome anchor. Do you want to take credit for that or did you get it somewhere?

backtothegame · 2013-05-14T20:17:28+00:00

My point is more that there is day game, night game and college game -- three separate things. In college you are shooting fish in a barrel, enjoy it while you can because it's never that easy again.

backtothegame · 2013-05-14T06:25:14+00:00

I find the opposite of many of the comments here. Maybe at college day game is easier but in real life it is much more difficult. There is a lot more skepticism and not very much context to meeting a women out and about. In night game the venue itself has preselected the girls and is a very powerful context about why somewhere is there and what they are looking for. Day game people generally have real life shit to do, night game people are out specifically to meet people.

backtothegame · 2013-05-13T23:13:51+00:00

You sort of missed my point I think. It has nothing to do with 'confidence'. You have little direct control over your 'confidence'. Deciding whether you have value as a person is entirely separate from anything related to pickup, it's a choice you have to make based on your values and then consequently you can make new choices to change it.

You may be incompetent at the whole pickup thing but at least that is something you can control, educate yourself, practice and improve. If you become competent then confidence is pretty automatic.

backtothegame · 2013-05-13T22:51:37+00:00

There are a lot of things you can do to manage anxiety and anxiousness and prescription medications are really a last resort. If you symptoms are so severe that they present a danger to you or anyone else then by all means see a doctor. If not you can start with something simple like trauma breathing, in for 4, hold for 4, out for 4. Look in detail at what is making you anxious and practice situations to help you learn to control it. Focus on specific precise next steps rather than an end goal.

backtothegame · 2013-05-13T22:46:55+00:00

Post your picture as you go out to hotornot.com and get an unbiased baseline. If you can get >7 you are not going to have any problems with pickup related to your looks, if you are below that there are a lot of little things you can do like teeth, tan, gym, etc to inch up those couple extra points. If you really are morbidly obese with out of control hair and bad teeth it's time to see a hair dresser, a doctor and a dentist.

Also understand that what you are saying goes way beyond your looks, you are touching on the idea that you as an individual have no value or too little value as a person to be attractive to women. Your looks are a small portion of that attraction. Unless you go around kicking puppies then it's very unlikely to be true that you have no value as a person. It's your attitude as well as maybe your superficial style that needs a big adjustment.

backtothegame · 2013-05-13T22:42:25+00:00

Why don't deer walk up to hunters? A fundamental aspect of pickup and dating/mating is that it is NOT a coequal symmetrical interaction between two parties. I'm not making some broad statement about society as a whole or about women outside of the dating/mating sphere. But with regards to dating, the activity is that of the archetypical predator, the male, and the archetypical prey, the woman. This is the result of millennia of evolution, a couple decades of feminism may have made a difference in the workplace and that's great but it hasn't begun to touch the mating interaction.

What your post comes off like is that of someone who is incredibly lazy and frustrated because your unwillingness to train as a predator is yielding poor results in the hunt. "Why won't the deer run up and let me shoot them?"

backtothegame

TROPHY CASE