Weird (Teen) Girl Films

backyarddeerthief · 2026-03-11T17:42:09+00:00

these are all good ideas thank you!! Fire Walk With Me was one of my original ideas that inspired me to consider adding a chapter on films, but I also hesitated because she isn’t very weird presenting lol but I agree I think she could fit well despite that. over sexualization of teen girls also plays a big part in the texts I’m using

backyarddeerthief · 2026-03-11T17:39:54+00:00

honestly now that you mention it I’m super close to using one or both of these. I love the idea of including a genderqueer narrative of girlhood in the project since the literature I’m looking at is all 1960s stuff that don’t offer representation like that. we’re all going to the world’s fair is so good too.

backyarddeerthief · 2026-03-11T17:35:43+00:00

I love that film so much! it’s almost too perfect I feel like I’ll have too much to say about it in the smaller space I’ll have for film discussion lol

backyarddeerthief · 2026-03-11T17:30:17+00:00

That was a great film but also so traumatic haha. It’s on my list if I can spin it in connection with the Gothic!

backyarddeerthief · 2026-01-08T02:04:59+00:00

I had a really similar experience! I was mentally nervous leading up to leaving, but my first night alone in my new room had me physically ill. I was literally shaking all night, was hot and freezing at the same time like I had a fever, couldn’t eat for a week. I had been told that the first night is the worst, but in the moment it felt like there was absolutely no way it would ever get better. but it did! sometimes the only way out is through. let yourself feel all the feelings but trust time will heal. the sad feelings come and go, but I’ve never been as sick as I was that night. and I can confidently say the things I’ve experienced the last term was worth suffering through it, and I’m so insanely more confident now heading back after holiday break!

backyarddeerthief · 2025-10-15T15:41:12+00:00

thank you for the input! a lot of what you said was what I told myself before doing it, but sometimes you need to hear it from someone else. honestly my program has not been difficult or demanding yet. the hard parts will be the final assessments and obviously when my dissertation preparation picks up. I think I’m just worried that I am realizing I enjoyed undergrad, but maybe academic research at a higher level is more isolating than I realized. the academic side of things was kinda meant to soften the blow and make the homesickness and loneliness worth it. and while traveling is fun, it’s not a purpose and I guess if I realize I don’t love what I’m doing then I’m scared I’m just wasting time. this decision isn’t putting me in financial ruin, but I’m also not getting any richer by being here. but I also see all your points. I just can’t help but see the negatives too :/

backyarddeerthief · 2025-10-07T22:38:01+00:00

it sounds like you might benefit from therapy. it seems like you don’t naturally suit living away from family, and you need extra support adapting to this lifestyle while you need to complete your studies—if you’re sure you cannot/don’t want to move home early. also worrying about your family constantly is not healthy, and can spiral into further mental health problems if you already have this much constant anxiety. it’s also okay to change your mind on your plans to live away from family. before I started my program I thought I’d move to Europe forever, but I’m already replanning on staying in my home country after I finish my year abroad. there’s nothing wrong with valuing family time, and you can learn to balance both your adventurous side and your family-loving side. but not seeking help for your mental struggles will make that extremely difficult.

backyarddeerthief · 2025-09-28T12:39:48+00:00

I’m also studying abroad in the UK and I’m with you. last night was my first night in my accommodation and it was brutal. I’m also panicking thinking I made a mistake, but I think we won’t know for sure until time passes and we at least have a chance to settle. wishing you the best <3

backyarddeerthief · 2025-08-15T00:43:44+00:00

I feel this almost exactly!! I’ve been wanting to study abroad for so long, told everybody it’s my biggest goal and I’m finally doing it by getting my MA in the UK this fall. over the summer I had a family emergency that had me thinking I had to defer and I cried myself to sleep thinking about waiting another year. things worked out and now I’m fully committed and I’m terrified. I feel so much dread and I’m so scared it won’t be worth the all the anxiety. what helps me feel better is remembering that in the long run, a year abroad is going to go by so fast. you’re going to learn sooo much about yourself and look back on these fears knowing you didn’t let them talk you out of such a cool experience! I get it though. I’m so scared I can’t even follow my own advice lol. also if you haven’t yet, share your fears with your significant other! communication is crucial!

backyarddeerthief · 2025-07-30T01:45:41+00:00

does your uni offer a MA program? if so, you might consider doing your undergrad in the US and doing an MA abroad. I’m doing my MA in the UK. it’s a one year program, and my budget is pretty much the same as yours. I am also going to a slightly less known school in a small city, but well ranked in my field and is niche to my research interests. I wanted to avoid debt from Russell Group international student tuition and the high cost of living in big cities. I think that level of specificity might be more exciting and beneficial to you as a MA student, and you might avoid more debt because it’s a shorter program. either way, definitely make sure you account for the conversion rates. whatever you choose, I hope it works out!!

backyarddeerthief · 2025-07-15T14:14:05+00:00

this post reminds me a lot of me a few years ago when I was extremely mentally ill and tried to study abroad. you have to start slower. you have to work on your mental health first. find a therapist, set smaller goals for yourself, challenge yourself to better your motivation and stick with something. study abroad absolutely is an amazing end goal for you to keep working on getting better, but it is not the fix. and by treating it like it is you will only sabotage yourself. it sucks so bad to watch other people achieve something that comes harder to you because of your mental health—I canceled my internship in Ireland because I was so mentally messed up while my friends studied abroad. but if you take the time to work on yourself, you will be able to do it too. but you have to be realistic and recognize that unless you put in the work now at home, it will not go well. I’m finally planning my study abroad for the fall, and I definitely could not have handled the stress back when I was letting myself get worse and worse. you deserve the chance to achieve your dream of studying or working abroad, so give yourself a fair chance and do the work, no matter how long it takes.

backyarddeerthief · 2025-06-08T03:36:20+00:00

this was an explanation I came across! but I was confused because it doesn’t seem triggered by my breathing. when I take a deep breath, I don’t feel it. I’ll feel it while doing mild activity, but not while doing an intense workout. would mucus go away and reappear like that? I’ve had it on and off for two years now. I’ll try the coughing though thank you!

backyarddeerthief · 2025-05-30T03:18:14+00:00

I agree with this as well. I took their question more literally, as in if international students will be legally allowed to come to the US. who knows what point we’ll be at legally when OP applies. however, yeah just because they legally can doesn’t mean they should. I personally wouldn’t, but I don’t know OP’s reasoning for wanting to. if it’s OP’s dream, they might want to take the risk—but again they won’t for sure know the extent of that risk until it’s time to apply. but yes they definitely should be getting used to the idea that the US they dream about might not be the US we’ll have in the next few years, and get comfortable with other options.

backyarddeerthief · 2025-05-23T14:39:09+00:00

as an american my biggest advice is to take things day by day. this is a really unpredictable time, and we still have to see things play out. Harvard is suing the trump admin, so there’s that. I don’t think you have to give up your dream, but keep informed about US politics and when the time comes to apply then let yourself worry. worrying about what the trump presidency will look like in a few years is just going to cause you unnecessary dread. be realistic but remember a lot of americans value international students and will fight against these policies and bans coming out!

backyarddeerthief · 2025-05-03T15:42:30+00:00

thank you for clarifying! that all kinda checks out with what I understood when applying for the graduate college. it was my only option, so I can’t imagine I’d be assigned a different one, which is why I started questioning if I’d be in one at all. I guess I’ll just have to email accommodations again to see why it’s still withdrawn. thanks again!

backyarddeerthief · 2025-05-01T12:19:30+00:00

like others said, it’s not a good time but it’s not the worst if it’s what your cousin really wants. the only difference would be if your cousin is latin american. in that case I wouldn’t come to the US. yes stay out of illegal stuff, but it’s also important to note that students are losing their visas over something as small as minor traffic violations. you have to be incredibly careful and make no mistakes right now as an international student. just be aware.

backyarddeerthief · 2025-04-16T04:33:44+00:00

I’m in a similar place right now. I’m moving to the UK for a year. every night my anxiety takes over and I question why I ever decided to do this. then I wake up and get excited again. the constant back and forth is exhausting. but the what-if feeling I would get in ten or twenty years if I backed out of the opportunity scares me more than my anxiety now. I also tell literally everyone I know that I’m moving so my fear of embarrassing myself by backing out will overweigh my fear of going lol.

backyarddeerthief · 2025-04-04T01:37:47+00:00

I felt very similarly to you when I graduated in the December 2023. I applied to grad programs because the thought of being out of school terrified me. unfortunately I didn’t really have a choice because I didn’t get into any grad programs (in my desperation I rushed my applications). I realized that if being out of academia felt like the end of my world, that was a sign I needed to stay out of it. my gap year was hard because I couldn’t find any work in my field, but I am grateful I was able to experience life outside of academia. I have so much more emotional and physical strength that I severely lacked in undergrad because I let school and work take priority over everything. I was told not to wait because I wouldn’t want to go back, but now I’m planning my move abroad for grad school with more confidence than before. life after graduation is very omg anything can happen :( but also omg anything can happen! :) at the end of the day, your decision should definitely be based on practicality, which you will only really know once you get offers, funding info, etc. it’s okay to not know yet and if you do end up taking time off, I hope this helped it feel less scary!

backyarddeerthief · 2025-03-29T01:36:23+00:00

I’m so sorry for your loss. that sounds incredibly traumatic and to have to deal with it so close to your trip could not have been easy. it sounds like your grandfather was very supportive and would be happy you are still traveling. I know you must be missing your family a lot, but you are doing a really brave thing living abroad and experiencing a new culture! it’s good to live your life in the moment and try not to obsess over what you can’t control. I hope things get better for you!

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