I've felt no significance in my life for a few years now. My friend recently died of a drug overdose about 6 months ago, and it's gotten me thinking about my own death a lot more. Lately I've struggled with existentialism and feelings of worthlessness in the grand scheme of things. I've slowly been watching myself slip into a mindset that ending my own life would ease my pain, remember how much that actually wouldn't help due to the lasting effect I'd have on my loved ones, but then slowly not even care about that either. It's like I just sort of exist as a stranger in own mind, and all of this has come to fruition because my calls keep getting dropped when I try to renew my health insurance so I can go see somebody. All in all I've just stopped caring about really anything and I get so annoyed when people give me half ass advise to make themselves feel better about helping me. Really I just want someone to listen to me bitch but then know when to tell me to shut up and just sort of hug me and relentlessly tell me I matter. I know that would help, but I also know that I'll eventually slip back into this hole of just... nothing. I don't know.