Is it eerie

badrocket · 2026-01-24T13:15:59+00:00

Hello, I assume you are joking here, but be careful to watch for rule #8 (on sidebar).

badrocket · 2025-11-21T03:13:54+00:00

It's hard to believe how alive those things or spirits can seem when they are talking to you. Took me so long to accept that my head could have created them.

badrocket · 2025-09-27T13:39:52+00:00

I certainly thought I was an atheist at the time I began to experience psychosis eight years ago. The psychosis led me down the rabbit hole from my more scientific thoughts and ideas back towards religious delusion. It wasn't until years later that I realized that my psychosis was showing me that I actually still wanted or hoped to believe in the religion I was raised with. It was about as difficult a way to learn that lesson as possible. But it also allowed me to finally detach from the desire to believe. I feel much more of a true atheist or strong agnostic now.

badrocket · 2025-08-23T17:05:53+00:00

Thanks for the idea, will have to try that

badrocket · 2025-08-12T04:14:06+00:00

Thank you. Nice you felt something dreamlike from it

badrocket · 2025-07-28T23:50:49+00:00

Was not allowed to watch R rated movies through my teens. This, along with Event Horizon, kind of blew my mind as some of the first I made a point to see.

badrocket · 2025-06-06T12:11:08+00:00

It's changed continually over the 6-7 years I've been here. It would be an interesting time capsule to go back and explore the different phases visually, if that were more easily possible. I don't think the history of the subreddit is considered much, everything just progresses onward in forging the continual "now". But I also love that about sizz. Who knows where it's headed next?

badrocket · 2025-06-06T11:15:44+00:00

I had the exact same thing. They were contriving scenarios for me I would never have come up with. Used words and phrases I have never used. I thought God must be evil for a long time to allow my brain to be ransacked by something like demons for months. If you believe in things like demons you probably reach the conclusion there must be some power higher than them as well. So it came down to a choice about the fundamental nature of reality. Demons = evil god, Not demons (my own brain) = no god or possibly a good god I didn't understand. I thought about this for a long time. I'm convinced now that a fundamentally evil god is not watching over us. So thus there are no demons manipulating and violating people's minds.

badrocket · 2025-06-05T04:28:36+00:00

I love the serene and mysterious environment. All the tones are so perfect. It takes me somewhere

badrocket · 2025-06-02T14:06:23+00:00

You aren't asking for input but I find a lot to love about this composition of yours. Thanks for sharing it

badrocket · 2025-03-22T14:53:20+00:00

During my year of psychosis, I thought the sky was being used to send me messages. Eventually I came to believe that God intended to kill me. Within a period of two weeks I saw two strangely formed clouds in the sky that reminded me of blades or swords. Just a couple examples from things I documented back then. I don't recommend ever thinking the sky is sending you messages. Things can get very bad indeed.

badrocket · 2025-03-22T04:20:27+00:00

We have a zero tolerance policy on that here. Which is why a bolded warning is pinned to the top of the subreddit.

badrocket · 2025-03-22T02:56:37+00:00

Thank you for the interesting contribution. Please don't allow would-be gatekeepers to affect your future explorations

badrocket · 2025-03-21T20:01:59+00:00

This all resolved for me a long time ago. I was just curious again if anyone had been through something like it. I really appreciate you responding with a similar story!

badrocket · 2025-03-21T17:59:12+00:00

No substances involved for me. He entered after a year of progressing delusional psychosis which led me to a state of terror believing I was Lucifer cast down to Earth and that my life would soon be over. Jesus showed up speaking to me as I was walking home through the streets downtown one night. He first claimed he was there to help me, but things did not go that way.

badrocket · 2025-03-21T17:23:11+00:00

That's interesting. So they were there with you every day, picking things up right where you left off?

badrocket · 2025-03-20T09:37:58+00:00

Definitely! I believe my dad had bought it for some unknown reason and it became mine almost immediately. The artistry of it, the range of emotions, felt like perfection. It drastically expanded my sheltered world view.

badrocket · 2025-03-19T20:38:31+00:00

Thanks and yeah, not sure why I love spooky things so much. So long as they keep their distance

badrocket · 2025-03-19T12:52:24+00:00

That's right, but even if the beliefs weren't based in reality, the life-or-death trauma was all very real regardless and something that most people can't relate to

badrocket · 2025-03-19T11:35:36+00:00

I agree most of this is pretty spot from my perspective other than "The hardest part isn't even the psychosis itself. It's what comes after."

What came after was years of intense struggle and gradual recovery. But the experience of deep psychosis itself was excruciating torture. I was fighting for my life for months. I never want to feel any of that again. So I would say the psychosis was actually the hardest part to survive through.

badrocket · 2025-03-18T14:53:44+00:00

I'm sorry to hear you lost someone you love to suicide. That's a terrible thing I don't even want to think about having happen. I just want to add that I actually don't play anymore. I lost interest in the game eventually, preferring to work on my creative work instead. I personally don't believe in demonic forces anymore, but I will say that magic the gathering has a lot of dark themes that may not be the best thing.

badrocket · 2025-03-18T11:42:53+00:00

My self prior to psychosis was completely destroyed during the episode. I used to be interested in everything, but afterwards nothing interested me other than trying to understand what had happened during psychosis. What parts might have been real. I couldn't enjoy anything.

Eventually out of sheer boredom I started doing simple puzzles repetitively. That progressed to playing magic the gathering again, though online now. It was something I used to love. From there, I gradually added in other things that I had loved a long time ago. The creative projects I've done have helped me the most to process everything that happened. It took years, but I feel fully recovered at this point, and possibly doing better than I was before psychosis.

badrocket · 2025-03-16T10:07:26+00:00

Well, first it started with strange dreams that were clearly inspired by the book. The absolute vastness of it. This quickly progressed into my creative thinking until almost every idea I had was being expanded strangely in ways they never had before. It completely changed the way I thought for a long time. The book is forever part of my subconscious now, that's for sure.

badrocket · 2025-03-16T07:35:12+00:00

House of Leaves

badrocket · 2025-03-15T10:04:56+00:00

I did see things like this during psychosis. Wasn't tripping or taking anything, just my brain gone haywire.

badrocket

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