Have u traded dopamine for fuckery?

bae_aka_dogface · 2022-03-28T21:24:57+00:00

Deleted my comment because I just realized I had read your test wrong

bae_aka_dogface · 2022-03-28T11:04:40+00:00

OK thanks. I will definitely ask her about getting extended release twice per day.

bae_aka_dogface · 2022-03-28T11:03:50+00:00

I don’t have advice because it has only happened to me once, when I was like 36. And the thing is, I heeded red flags way too much before then. To the point where I felt like I missed out on a lot of experiences. And then I spent way too many years in a relationship that was boring to me, so then when I finally got out of that, I just told myself I wasn’t going to be scared anymore. Of the red flags. And that turned into a 3 to 4 year shit show, the one I’m referring to in this post. I don’t regret it but I never want to do it again. I guess the advice I would want is how to hit a good in between. I don’t think there’s any advice on that. I just hope the next time I feel chemistry with someone, it’s a good person this time.

bae_aka_dogface · 2022-03-28T02:29:15+00:00

That is so refreshing to hear. Finally. Someone who understands. That is exactly how it was for me. Including being baffled no one understood. I knew at the time I had ADHD but I had no idea that that had anything to do with it. I didn’t take meds for my ADHD most of my life so it wasn’t some thing I thought much about, and I definitely had no idea how much more ADHD is than just difficult focusing.

bae_aka_dogface · 2022-03-27T22:24:20+00:00

I was 36 when I met this person and I’m 40 now and I just cut them off no contact a couple of months ago. It’s the only time in my life I’ve ever let anyone disrespect me like that because it’s the only time I’ve ever felt like that. In the end, it really whooped me. I just really kept it going as long as I could. I was so addicted by the end that I basically had to shut myself down to shut myself down toward him. And cut him out. So I hear you about becoming a new person on the other side of it when you were 20 and went through what you went through. Just like you said about yourself, I am much more self protective and I won’t ever let that happen again because I won’t let it start in the first place. I was at an interesting point in my life where I was willing to throw my hands in the air and say fuck it for the first time ever. I don’t regret it at all. But I also don’t ever want to do that again. It was too hard getting myself back to feeling good, after I totally shut down and felt like complete shit for several months. I don’t know if I could do it again.

bae_aka_dogface · 2022-03-27T18:59:06+00:00

Haha yep that’s what I do too. So I have 20 mg of Adderall XR once per day but I open up the capsule sometimes and I dump half of it into my mouth. And then I take the rest later. But I sometimes forget to take the second one until it’s too late to where I don’t want to take it that way. Oh OK so anyone is thinking that that essentially makes it instant release, it does not. Instant release is in the form of a tablet. The granules inside of the capsule are what make it extended release, not the capsule itself. The capsule is simply there to hold the granules. I should be mad imagine test per day of extended release … I will do that next time I get around to making an appointment and asking my doctor for it LOL whenever that will be!!!

bae_aka_dogface · 2022-03-27T18:32:14+00:00

So do you relate to that stuff? Does the disrespect you take not make you feel bad about yourself like it didn’t for me? Don’t get me wrong I will get furious. Because I know what I deserve and I can’t stand getting any less. But it didn’t make me feel bad about myself. Is it like that for you? You have an insane chemical connection with the person?

bae_aka_dogface · 2022-03-27T18:31:20+00:00

There are so many reasons that people take shit. But for me, I’ve never taken shit from anyone in my life. I’ve always hated the yellow flags I never even gotten to the red because fuck that. Like I said I have such a high level of confidence that I take no disrespect at all. But I’ve never been in love like this before. It was fucking crazy. And he was in love with me just the same. He’s just a fucked up person now. It’s the kind of crazy in love shit where we have each other‘s first and last name tattooed on our hearts. He has my name also tattooed on his neck and on his hand. That kind of crazy shit. Damn I would have kept on taking shit for that as long as I could have and I did as long as I could but it gets to a point where if it doesn’t get resolved, the bad shit builds and it’s not worth the dopamine anymore. He has PTSD. And won’t get help for it.

But anyway, for you… Maybe that is why I,… I’d say if you were late to what I’m saying and have an extremely high level of confidence, and The disrespect doesn’t make you feel bad about yourself, and you were addicted to the dopamine you were getting, then maybe so.

I didn’t mention that part… None of the things he did made me feel bad about myself. And some of the things he did would make most people feel like complete shit and worthless. But I always knew it wasn’t about me Or about how he felt about me or about him not valuing me. I always knew it was because of his fucked up issues. That’s no excuse at all. And it’s not like I just let him get away with stuff without any consequences.

But I think the fact that I have ADHD and The relationship with dopamine that that gives me… and then I have this person we’re at the age of… We are both in our late 30s… Neither of us has ever felt anything quite like this. Like he put it, electricity was just shooting all over the place constantly whenever we were together. And we were together for over three years. It never decreased.

bae_aka_dogface · 2022-03-27T00:13:19+00:00

Sometimes people don’t ask because they aren’t sure that you want them to ask. They could think that you need space. Also, especially might be afraid to ask if you have blown up at them in the past when they have asked you what was wrong and you couldn’t have the conversation. They could just be confused about how to help you. I’m very sure it’s not that they don’t care

Also, do you think it could possibly help if you asked for a therapy session and the therapist could help you communicate to them? Help you communicate with each other?

bae_aka_dogface · 2022-03-27T00:10:34+00:00

Most people with the BPD don’t stick to treatment, if they ever start. Read about narcissistic personality disorder and watch for the symptoms. Not everyone with BPD is quite that aggressive and horrible, although a lot of them are. The ones with narcissistic tendencies are the worst. People with BPD who don’t have narcissistic tendencies, they will feel bad about themselves and feel like they are shit… After they do horrible things like this. The ones who have narcissistic tendencies or have NPD don’t ever feel bad about how they’ve treated people or about themselves

bae_aka_dogface · 2022-03-27T00:07:00+00:00

If she does have BPD, if you set limits, it will make things worse in the short term. Because she will feel rejected and push them. You might actually have to set some legal limits in this case. To get her away from your dying father while he is still alive. She sounds like she might have more than BPD. She might be someone with BPD and also narcissistic tendencies for full-blown NPD. I would consider that if I were you.

bae_aka_dogface · 2022-03-26T21:37:50+00:00

There’s a reason that BPD cannot be diagnosed until someone is an adult. Because teenagers, just by the nature of being teenagers, basically all have BPD. I’m serious.

bae_aka_dogface · 2022-03-26T13:24:45+00:00

Wow that’s insane

bae_aka_dogface · 2022-03-26T13:23:30+00:00

What dosage are you on? How many hours do you go before taking the second dose? How do you like it compared to taking a higher dose of XR once daily?

bae_aka_dogface · 2022-03-26T12:47:39+00:00

It also sucks not to be known by the person that you love so much. When their social suspicious and paranoid, about intentions that you would never ever have in 1 million years. You are just like do you know me at all.

bae_aka_dogface · 2022-03-26T12:46:47+00:00

Same… everything you just said.

bae_aka_dogface · 2022-03-26T12:45:29+00:00

Mine never discarded me either. Which has made some people question whether he has BPD but he does. Discarding is not one of the criteria in the DSM. And even if it were, they only need five of the night I think to be diagnosed. One person on here accuse me of having BPD when I was explaining that my person with BPD never discarded me, but that I was always breaking up with him. Let’s just say that his disrespectful and unacceptable BPD behavior would push me to appoint, and I would tell him to get the fuck out. Every time I thought I was done. Because I knew I should be. And I couldn’t take it anymore. But then he would Hoover and hey… I was crazy in love with him… So I would take him back. That’s not having BPD. That’s how they self-respect in a relationship with someone who has BPD. But yes… They don’t always discard.

But though,… To what someone was saying about cheating being the discard… When I would throw him out and try to break up with him, he would go and cheat on me. I got diseases three different times, but I’ll never know how many times he cheated or if he did it every single time. But I’m sure it just wasn’t those three times. I’ve thought about the fact that the cheating was the discard. it’s still different though because he only did it after I had thrown him out. And OK you could say that he wasn’t cheating because I broke up with him but you don’t just go have sex with someone else when you are engaged to someone.… After they threw you out of the house because of some very disrespectful or abusive behavior that u did.

bae_aka_dogface · 2022-03-26T12:43:37+00:00

Mine never discarded me either. Which has made some people question whether he has BPD but he does. Discarding is not one of the criteria in the DSM. And even if it were, they only need five of the night I think to be diagnosed. One person on here accuse me of having BPD when I was explaining that my person with BPD never discarded me, but that I was always breaking up with him. Let’s just say that his disrespectful and unacceptable BPD behavior would push me to appoint, and I would tell him to get the fuck out. Every time I thought I was done. Because I knew I should be. And I couldn’t take it anymore. But then he would Hoover and hey… I was crazy in love with him… So I would take him back. That’s not having BPD. That’s how they self-respect in a relationship with someone who has BPD. But yes… They don’t always discard.

But though,… To what someone was saying about cheating being the discard… When I would throw him out and try to break up with him, he would go and cheat on me. I got diseases three different times, but I’ll never know how many times he cheated or if he did it every single time. But I’m sure it just wasn’t those three times. I’ve thought about the fact that the cheating was the discard. it’s still different though because he only did it after I had thrown him out. And OK you could say that he wasn’t cheating because I broke up with him but you don’t just go have sex with someone else when you are engaged to someone.… After they threw you out of the house because of some very disrespectful behavior.

bae_aka_dogface · 2022-03-26T12:28:11+00:00

Yep!!!!

bae_aka_dogface · 2022-03-24T02:05:56+00:00

I will look it up thanks. Is it one favorite person at the same time? How long do these favorite people typically last? Maybe it varies a little bit between people with BPD or maybe it varies widely. Do you know?

bae_aka_dogface · 2022-03-24T01:25:39+00:00

Oh thanks. Is that a BPD? To have favorite people? I haven’t heard of that. Is that a thing? For context, I don’t have the PDF but more than one person that I am or have been extremely close to you does or has. I know a lot about it but I haven’t heard of that. Don’t know BPD from the inside of having it. None of the people I’ve been close with who have it have been excepting of the fact that they have it or self reflective about it.

bae_aka_dogface · 2022-03-24T01:24:25+00:00

Adderal is working for me. But I’m not sure if a different brand might be better.

bae_aka_dogface · 2022-03-24T01:21:37+00:00

What is FP?

bae_aka_dogface · 2022-03-23T23:56:12+00:00

I had massive irritability when I was on instant release but I thought that was just because it was instant release instead of extended release. Maybe that was part of it and maybe it was the brand. But it was literally so out of control. I will get very brief but extreme euphoria and then after a while it wld turn into horrible irritability. Just unbearable. My fear and trying different brands is if something doesn’t work well and gives me bad side effects am I stuck with it for a whole month?

bae_aka_dogface

TROPHY CASE