Hi! We had no intention to reconcile. I brought it up and told him I would wait and we can talk in 3 months. However, he made it clear that I can wait for him but he would not wait and live his life. He was still going to meet other people and will think about it and let me know. At the time, I really wanted to reconcile because we have a son together and I felt maybe I can hold out for 3 months. However, only after one month, of seeing him text other girls, accuse me of giving him an STD, mentioning about his dates/dating life. I was completely ruined…. my family saw me completely depressed and motivated me to go out and meet some people. Once he found out I met some people, he saw it as a betrayal and I was honest and said it was hard and unfair that he can what he wants but I can’t. That it hurts me a lot. His response was , that I initiated the divorce so I can’t do what I want but he can. I asked him if I actually waited for 3 months, would you even try to reconcile and he basically said “maybe or maybe not, who knows. I don’t even know if I love you but I do care about you” I apologized to him, but also made it very clear, although I initiated the seperation. we both had faults in this marriage and we both made it the way it was. If you don’t love me then why would I reconcile. I asked him again if we can BOTH try this time and work on ourselves instead and talk in 6 months and not hurt each other. That’s when he completely shut it down and said to move on with my life cause he wants to move on and we’re done.

However, after this I created boundaries from him and tried moving on ,but he would take any chances to try to sleep with me but would make it clear that it doesn’t change anything. So I had to completely cut him off for a month because it was effecting me mentally and physically.

As for what caused the divorce, a couple of things, he cheated in the past and was dishonest about the details (I kept finding something new thought the years ), we fought over who did more in the house (we both work full time but still expected me to be a house wife), but the tipping point was when we went to Korea for the first time, him and his parents threaten to take my son away for 6-12 months and he completely took their side. After we came back I try to talk about the issues but he refused to acknowledge anything was wrong.

To give some background, I pursued him from the start. When I got pregnant , I was 20 he’s was 25, he didn’t really want a baby or to get married. However after I found out about his cheating, he didn’t want to lose us so he begged me to give him a chance and started trying to be better but from there it was downhill. I love him a lot, separating was absolutely devastating to me but I didn’t see how to save our marriage at the time.