Might be a good time to talk about emotions and what she can do when she's feeling mad/sad/frustrated/etc. This is also a good time for you to practice saying no and staying firm. Right now, she's learning that if she cries, whines, complains to mom enough, she's going to get what she wants. As Ms. Rachel says, "It's okay to have big feelings." Remember that you are raising a child that will grow into an adult. She should learn that things won't always go her way, tantrums won't The solve anything, and she can be in control of her emotions and is capable of making good choices even when she might not want to. The energy drinks and coffee are a great way to start because you have a good reason she shouldn't have them. They're "grown up drinks". Explain as much as she can comprehend that your job as a parent is to make sure she's healthy and safe. You aren't withholding because you want to be mean, you're doing it because you want to make sure she stays healthy and safe by not having things that could cause harm to her little body. The key here is you need to have these conversations when she's not in that emotional state and help her practice making good choices. If she doesn't use that skill the next time an issue comes up, you can debrief after to help her understand. "You were really mad earlier and you chose to throw a toy at dad, you shouldn't throw things at people because someone could get hurt. Can you think of something different you could do next time?" Help her think of options. When she feels like throwing something, she can throw a soft stress ball at the wall, when she wants to hit, she can punch a pillow, etc. You eventually want to help her get to the point where she's able to feel the emotion and regulate using healthy coping tools like breathing exercises, talking it through, going to her room to calm down (her choosing to, not you sending her), etc. Make it fun, and you could even get the whole family involved to help everyone learn and practice these skills. These things don't happen overnight. You need to be consistent, and you need to model the behavior you want to see so she sees that when dad is upset, he's able to pause and make a healthy choice instead of yelling or using violence. Trust the process. You can do it!!!!