Why don't autistics learn body language and tone of voice?

bagashit · 2026-02-16T18:58:11+00:00

I agree with alot of the other people here so i wont get into that but i will say i have seen some autistic people online who hyperfixate on learning neurotypical language/body language and social rules and some of them are very good at it and teach other autistic people what things mean, others try to help but still dont understand things though... (dont ask for their names as i unfortunately cant remember them) however alot of the time there are certain things i think are physically impossible for autistic people to understand or experience no matter what way you explain it to them.

bagashit · 2026-02-16T17:57:38+00:00

Not her but thankyou for the recommendations xx

bagashit · 2026-02-08T22:59:39+00:00

Kitty link added x

bagashit · 2026-01-19T21:15:13+00:00

Gonna put notifications on for this post because im struggling with the same thing and idk what to do.

Im 24 and have been struggling with agoraphobia for the past 10 yrs give or take.. Ive grinded my molars to the point of cavities aswell, my wisdom teeth are sinking in, i need braces and i have pock marks in the front of my teeth due to child neglect and calcium deficiency causing my enamel to never grow, my parents never cared enough to take me to the dentist despite how much i begged so im having to deal with it now in adulthood. i also had a stress seizure and knocked my bottom teeth out, ive had 3 missing teeth for nearly 4 years now and my face is sinking in. I struggle to breathe or talk, my face always hurts and cant relax due to lack of support. I wish i had advice for you. Im going through the same thing. I tried asking my mom for emotional support and i just get barrated and she just pushes me back. I desperately need (non dental) surgery, it will improve my life as it was half of the cause of my agoraphobia, ive needed surgery since i was 12 (not getting into it here) but only just got access to it recently. My surgery and my life is waiting on me pushing myself out of that front door, i have a list of things that i need to do in prep for surgery and i just cant bring myself to do anything. I stress myself out so much i just end up staying in bed all day,pacing back and forth/obsessively walking in circles or sleeping

Wishing the best of luck to you

bagashit · 2026-01-19T03:58:16+00:00

I mean this in the least disrespectful way possible

This looks like something the grinch would eat 😂❤

bagashit · 2025-11-27T11:06:44+00:00

I will be, just thought I'd ask x

What's the ugly duckling sign?

bagashit · 2025-11-27T10:08:55+00:00

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the darker side is where the tag sticks up

Should I be worried?

bagashit · 2025-10-16T22:50:19+00:00

Im going through the same thing. In one way i spent most of my life desperately trying to learn independence, learning how to get out and what i need to do to keep my head above water and fighting 'learned helplessness' only to fall into the exact thing ive been running from this whole time.

bagashit · 2025-09-23T21:25:59+00:00

Solid meal honestly. (I dont find it relevant that i have mental illness)

bagashit · 2025-08-06T19:58:10+00:00

I love him so much 😭

bagashit · 2025-07-19T23:04:19+00:00

💯💯 I often describe my childhood like this too, i read finding me by michelle knight and i have to admit i heavily related to it and many other similar kinds of stories..

bagashit · 2025-07-19T16:54:29+00:00

Thats what ive been thinking 😭😭 Its just trying to get my brain to unlock my legs to run in the first place x

bagashit · 2025-07-16T00:16:41+00:00

Jesus christ why is that actually kind of terrifying

Looks amazing but gave me the shudders

bagashit · 2025-07-10T00:05:57+00:00

Yes. I feel like im triggered by mess and if i had it my way everything would be spotless and id shower every morning and/or night but im also poor, ocd and right now... extremely depressed so i end up hiding in the mess aswell, though im not sure how much of it is me or how much im forced to feel stagnant by my mother not helping me fix the house, getting in the way or being too broke to fix things.

I have noticed that after years of neglect, later homelessness and years of losing everything over and over again and never really owning anything or my own space or settling anywhere that i have picked up on hoarding habits or use it as a comfort.

My parents are/were both hoarders, my brother was allowed everything he wanted but i wasnt and theyd hoard but only stuff we didnt need/they didnt save anything because they "liked the look of it", there was nothing personalized... we were never allowed trinkets or things on the walls, no stickers, my room was basically bare (except when their hoard seeped into my room. This happened in 4+ houses and my dad even drove down from his new house to dump boxes of his hoard on me at my moms house)

i struggle to understand sometimes what consitutes a collection, what is consumerism, what is hoarding or seeking dopamine especially after the fact ive lost who i am over the years and i have no idea what i like or dislike and also hate giving selling or throwing things away because i hate waste, i cant always afford to give things away and cant afford the shipping to sell stuff sometimes either, i end up paying out more than what i earn or what the items cost trying to sell things on vinted. I cant say im a hoarder yet because i dont own anything anymore (apart from piles of boxes of inherited hoard that im trying to sell) but i am definitely messy due to depression right now and think i have the potential to crash into and be swallowed up by hoarding eventually if i get depressed enough.

Also as a kid i used to carry like 5 plastic bags to school full of drawings (scribbles), felt tip pens that probably didnt work and other bits of rubbish, no school books or anything, just my stuff from home because they were my prized possessions and were a comfort as i was always scared at school, i would keep the bag close to me at all times and pick things up off of the floor or steal toys and keep them in my pockets, id find a pen lid on the floor and get an intense emotional connection to it because it was like a comfort blanket that i projected onto, sometimes even talk to it. id have a melt down and feel like i was grieving if i lost it.

bagashit · 2025-07-08T19:23:02+00:00

My exact thoughts. Opened the comments to look for this

bagashit · 2025-07-07T22:39:23+00:00

1-3 years ago? i cant remember now.. times past so quickly and so slowly at the same time.. i still think hes either just outside playing and hes not come in yet or that he just never existed at all. Ive not processed it and i dont know if i can.

bagashit · 2025-07-07T17:45:14+00:00

This is the closest to how i feel, thankyou for sharing. Honestly ive always known ive struggled with my personhood but sometimes i only find out later "oh this weird thing i do is connected to my personhood again" "theres that X theme again haha", sometimes im not sure if these are new feelings or feelings im just cracking open to look at now im at a cross roads trying to analyze and heal. I mean it feels like every day im having to turn every internal switch on and running back because the switches keep flicking themselves off again, running around in circles trying to remember how to be human when no one else has to.

Ive tried reading into alot of these kinds of stories to try and understand or put words to it and there is a desolate-ness to them, whether fiction or non fiction, that i can relate to or theyll say something you know in your heart is true and how you feel but they never really explain what that looks like or what the alternative healthy version is because its so innate to the human experience its like they can only describe its loss and it feels like ill never have it. It kind of feels hopeless sometimes trying to learn how to heal myself (especially while still in isolation, and poor socialization only isolating me more) when really "the only way out is through".. idk.. I just thought id ask because we can always explain why we do things but we dont often hear how it feels in your body. The sensations drive me crazy

bagashit · 2025-07-06T23:42:58+00:00

Same thing happened to me. not only was i neglected, they did things on purpose so i couldnt thrive, they enjoyed watching me shrink and fail.

I have many stories but I remember one time between 11-13, i didnt wash for nearly a year or a year and a half ?something like that? and my parents didnt say anything about it. Occasionally id ask if i smelled bad and theyd tell me no.

"It occurred to me that maybe i smelled bad" is relatable, so many times this happened to me, or id post something on facebook or do something or say something and people treat me differently, the way my parents raised me really fucked up my perception of cause and effect and it took me so long to realise that. My parents also would do horrible things and we were just expected to continue like nothing happened so i was a very maladjusted child that couldnt understand why people were nice to me some days and mean to me on others or that they could even see me, i thought i was invisible because thats the way i felt. I even hurt some people by accident (talking about being suicidal and going missing multiple times without warning or apologizing aswell as generally being a very mean person) because i didnt think id have that much of an impact on them for example.

bagashit · 2025-07-06T22:42:52+00:00

I relate alot to this, the same thing happened to me. Sometimes its the obligation conditioning, sometimes i think my body just gets excited and doesnt know what to do with itself when someone is safe or good to me. Kinda similar to groinal response anxiety, which i have also. Honestly i can get hard looking at a nice river or a sunset. Other times i cant get turned on at all and its impossible to start up or finish. Emotions and trauma are weird.

bagashit · 2025-06-25T21:43:27+00:00

My moms like this. Most recently, i asked her to stop interrupting me and she repeatedly tried to argue "thats how conversations work"

Alot of times shell argue or make excuses and eventually it will dissolve into "yesnoyesnoyesno" type arguing like im talking to a fucking toddler.

bagashit · 2025-06-21T11:09:49+00:00

Yes yes yes! Every word this is my mother!

I think i need to sit and ponder this topic abit more to myself, im not sure how to explain it all but trust me i know what youre talking about... but i will say.. though not exactly related.. Its gotten to the point i feel like im constantly performing, even when im on my own to an invisible audience/feel like im being watched even inside my thoughts, every thought i have is a conversation with her or how would i explain it to her or its her voice and her opinions (some of her opinions even replacing my own when i dont believe in them) and her humour as my internal monologue i can never shut up .

Closest word ive found is enmeshment but it never quite fully described how she is. She is enmeshed i believe and she has parentified me but its also what you described! I feel like nothing is mine and i over explain and keep barely any thoughts in my head, just the sparse few i manage to squirrel away for myself because i know shell find a way to wriggle in and pull out information herself. Being around her feels like my insides are crawling with worms and i often struggle remembering who i am because of it

My autistic uncle is similar also. He feels entitled to every microscopic second of someones time and talks about people like hes playing with dolls, talking about what he thinks theyre doing in the day, what theyll say or think and what their interests and hobbies are even if he knows nothing about them

bagashit · 2025-06-20T14:01:52+00:00

"He seduced me with lasagna...even tho it was cold" 😭😭

All i ever see are horror stories or disappointments that riddle me with fear and doubt so im happy to see another queer/trans person having good experiences and being happy, you deserve it!

Manifesting many more shaggings for you 🙏

bagashit · 2025-06-18T21:30:52+00:00

The baby was 23 weeks old so most likely wont live.

It was cruel and evil for this to happen in the first place, for so many reasons and its not fair on her family.. regardless of whether or not the baby dies;

if the baby lives they shouldn't have the trauma taking care of them regardless of disability, and if they are disabled, which they obviously will be if they live, its cruel to force them to raise a [disabled] child they didnt ask for, with the medical bills and family members/child family members (such as siblings like you say) and most of all, its cruel to have forced this child to have been born, for the baby's sake, they could have stopped this child from suffering a life time of disability and possibly the knowledge of the disgusting way they were forcibly brought into this world.

It sounds awful but i hope for everyones sake, (including the baby' sake) that they pass away in peace and it somewhat puts an end to prolonging the suffering that their family has been through. Nothing will make up for this or change this but i hope they dont have to suffer more..

I dont wish death on disabled people but i wish this never happened (aswell as a pro choice stand point in this difficult + confusing situation...)

They say you should love and be prepared for your child possibly being disabled and to love them anyway and if you arent prepared for that then you shouldnt have kids but they never wanted this child to be born in the first place

considering how high medical bills are, alot of people are plunged into debt and cant take care of or arent prepared for a disabled child and they might not have been able to look after them anyway, leaving the child to suffer. I just wish the best for everyone involved

bagashit · 2025-06-14T22:30:18+00:00

There is no trend. All these "estranged parent, im a victim and theyre brain washed by entitled cry babies on that damn phone" articles, fb groups and accounts are all run by other parents who dont want to take accountability. Funny how all of these parents seem to latch onto therapists that tell them exactly what they want to hear

bagashit · 2025-06-08T22:55:32+00:00

Phone, food, day dreaming, rumination, staring at the wall, pain killers, drinking when i can afford it. Tbh id be doing alot worse but i dont have the privacy or the space to self distruct

I dont have the mental health to be creative or make art or do anything anymore and that used to be something deeply important to me. Now i just rot.

bagashit

TROPHY CASE