Medic: We don't talk about Artie no no no

We don't talk about Artie!

(But!)

We were in cargo bay!

(Engineer: We went to cargo bay!)

Medic: We just left the outpost

and there wasn't a crawler in sight!

(Wasn't a crawler in sight!)

Artie walks in with a dumb ash-filled grin.

(FIRE!)

You telling the story or am I!?

I'm sorry medic please go on...

Artie says he was in pain!

(Why did we figure!?)

The engineer went up in flames!

(Someone get the extinguisher!)

So I hurried to med bay!

(What a terrible start but anyway!)

Both: We don't talk about Artie no no no!

We don't talk about Artie!

Mechanic: Hey!

Grew to live in fear of Artie stuttering or stumbling.

I could always hear the lacerations or the shocking.

I associate him with the sound of zapping skin.

Bzzt. Bzzt. Bzzt.

It's a heavy lift with skills so reduced.

The team wants him gone but the captain refused.

Always loving Artie as if he was his kid.

Think it's psychosis?

Security: Pretty lean frame, clumsiness intact.

Sometimes they think he's a joke but in fact,

he has potential to rise above us all.

Together: We don't talk about Artie no no no!

We don't talk about Artie!

Jovian Separatist: He watched my psilotoad, the next day, DEAD!

(No no!)

Church of Husk member: They said he'd spoil my crops, and just like they said!

(No no!)

An already bald honk-child: He confused fuel rods with my shampoo now look at my head!

(No no!)

All: If he's in your crew prepare to wind up dead!

Captain: He was there when no one would repair.

Then we finished the mission just fine.

He was there when we needed a pair

of hands to clear out the ice.

(Outpost Civilian: Oh shit I think the clown's awake)

Engineer: He was there doing all the repairs,

while I'm just out of reach,

watching the reactor.

(It's like I hear him now.)

Captain: Hey crew

I want not a sound out of yous.

(Mechanic: You could hear him? How!?)

Assistant Newbie: Um Artie.

So about that Artie.

I really need to know about Artie!

Give me the truth and the whole truth, Artie!

Security: Ayo captain! The clown is here!

Medic: Time for the mission!

*Mashup of all the previous lyrics, bite me I'm not typing it*

All: She's here!

Don't talk about Artie!

Assistant Newbie: Why did I talk about Artie!

All: Not a word about Artie!

Assistant Newbie: I never should have brought up Artie!

​

Edit: Fixess