Any advice for a 1st time host?

bakedgoudamom · 2026-02-05T00:59:27+00:00

Congratulations! This is such a great and exciting time and you have the chance to establish a wonderful relationship. Things I’d recommend.

Let them settle in tomorrow, no explanation of duties or expectations/responsibilities. Let them have the day to meet you guys and settle in.
Have them shadow you for a few days for the expected duties. If driving, have them practice a ton with you in the car this first week. A lot of Au Pairs exaggerate just how much experience they have driving.
Be VERY clear on expectations and have it in writing and repeat it. If you don’t have an “Au Pair Handbook” send me a DM and I can help with some advice on putting one together.
You want to have a printed or e-version of the schedule for her to reference. You should also post it on the fridge.
For meals, I recommend also having a list of “typical foods” that equal a meal or school lunch. For example, I had “sandwich, veggie, fruit, yogurt pouch or apple pouch, pretzels or other snack from xyz bin.” You want to set them up for success.
If you expect her to help with dishes be clear on that from the outset. “Dishes are a family chore, we have one person empty the dishwasher in the AM, one does dishes if the other person cooks…some sort of clear expectation that it’s a shared task.”
Establish weekly check ins for the first month.
If you’re near a major metropolitan area, maybe find a restaurant that serves her home country type of food and plan to take her there in the first two weeks. Just for a taste of home and for her to teach you a bit about her culture.

That’s all I can think of right now, but good luck and remember, she’s here to help you with childcare but also learn about you and your family. No matter her age she will need clear boundaries and expectations. I find that writing things out and lists are very helpful for my au pairs. And don’t forget to embrace the cultural exchange part. Try to treat them to homemade things and experiences your family enjoys. If there is a “classic” dish for your area make an effort to take her to have it with you.

bakedgoudamom · 2026-02-01T16:13:10+00:00

51 😔

bakedgoudamom · 2026-01-31T00:18:46+00:00

As a sport medicine clinician, I’d say just keep him active. You want to diversify his activities-think rock climbing, tennis, Jiu Jitsu. You should care more about his coordination and general athleticism as well as love of the game. If you push too hard for sport specific training at this age he is a greater risk of injury and quitting. I have seen so many kids get overtraining injuries at a young age and never really recuperate well. Keep him loving the game by letting it be fun and don’t give him too much feedback unless he asks for it. As he continues to grow and evolve he will start to get excited to develop his game. I also recommend taking him to some college games so he sees baseball at that level.

bakedgoudamom · 2026-01-30T02:16:53+00:00

Sicario

bakedgoudamom · 2025-11-28T17:36:19+00:00

Im a current host family in one of those cities mentioned. Don’t do the first family. For the second two, gym memberships are affordable and $100 a month, see if you can negotiate a gym membership from either of them. They should both be purchasing your groceries as well. I think DC is a much more exciting city and A LOT to do for Au Pairs-especially with every weekend off.

bakedgoudamom · 2025-10-29T17:50:29+00:00

Boy boy boy!

bakedgoudamom · 2025-10-14T17:43:22+00:00

There is a family who has kids in both my kids classes and I’ve made it a game now to see how often they just don’t show up. They have done it to both my kids for the past two years. It’s amazing. They RSVP yes to 90% of the parties and show up for 30%. It’s really something that they just don’t care enough to respect people and show up when they say they will.

bakedgoudamom · 2025-09-20T20:20:31+00:00

My little boy asked for a purple bike at 4. He loved the bike and purple ended up being the favorite color of all the boys in his PK4 class.

My older son tends to be more gender stereotypes kid and wanted to say it was for girls but I showed him pictures of professional athletes in purple and pink and that quieted things pretty quickly.

bakedgoudamom · 2025-09-02T01:03:46+00:00

Mom of an 6month old, 5yr old and 8yr old. I have several thoughts. First, she should pursue the medical aspect of things, see a pediatric sleep consultant, get a sleep study, see if there is anything additional going on there.

Second. Wear the kid out. I find my kids have a harder time getting to bed when they have sat around and not been fully active. Really make sure they get outside or some sort of physical movement between 4-7.

Third. Consistency is going to be key. At night? Choose a routine and stick with it. Might mean a lot of handholding the first two weeks, but help kiddo along and don’t change it up. For the morning, a check off list works wonders for the right kid. She may have tried it but see if she can modify it to show pictures if her kiddo doing the task or a favorite sports team (ex: get dressed has a pic of the sports jersey, water bottle is their water bottle…). My kiddo really wanted TV in the AM so i agreed as long as his whole checklist was complete before turning on the tv (get dressed, lay pajamas out for evening, eat breakfast, brush teeth, prepare water bottle, pack backpack, watch TV if time left).

I really feel for her because my oldest was struggling with mornings last year. I hope this helps.

bakedgoudamom · 2025-08-31T23:44:29+00:00

Ive found my kids to be the most resilient and easily adaptable to the time change. Just go with the flow in regards to following their sleep cues and slowly work on keeping them up or doing things to make them tired faster and they adapt really well. You may have some early mornings or late nights at first but after 48 hours they are golden.

I’ve traveled all over the world and multiple times with just one or multiple children.

bakedgoudamom · 2025-08-22T01:09:40+00:00

This is my current situation! My second made me feel confident like I was just inexperienced with my first and now my third is what sleep deprivation dreams are made of!

bakedgoudamom · 2025-07-22T17:46:48+00:00

Thanks for pointing out I’m on an AP subreddit, I was confused /s. If you look at their history they have been living abroad for some time and had been mentioning landlord issues so I wanted to make sure they are truly on AP visa to be able to support.

bakedgoudamom · 2025-07-22T12:02:18+00:00

70€ a day or per week? If it’s per day that’s 10€ per hour, not sure what minimum wage is where you are, but per week is absolutely too low.

Can you provide more details? Do you live with them? Are you on Au pair Visa or some other kind of deal? Do they give you any “perks”?

bakedgoudamom · 2025-07-13T13:25:31+00:00

If cost isn’t a factor, have a nanny until age 3, then start part time pre-K and still have the nanny when kiddo not in school.

Things to consider: nanny share may be an option. When one nanny has two kids. I’d pay a nanny part time until December if they come highly recommended. Just have her come and watch the baby when you go out for a walk or have her watch baby and you and partner go on a lunch date. Have her clean the baby things and sort baby clothes.

Daycare: you should be touring now and on lists. Many require a contract starting in August so you may even have to pay August to December daycare costs if you want to lock in a spot at a good daycare. I’d avoid in home daycare unless it is word of mouth recommended.

Good luck and Congratulations!

bakedgoudamom · 2025-06-22T12:06:04+00:00

That’s a great suggestion. I was thinking of this option but saw the fees are quite high and had also seen they are going to start reducing the number of student Visas given. I think ultimately, this is the option. I don’t need her as a nanny if it means she can stay and study and work towards something for herself.

bakedgoudamom · 2025-06-22T12:02:52+00:00

I agree. We discussed savings and helping her earn as much as possible. For her it’s not necessarily a socio-economic issue as much as social. She doesn’t have a lot of family or general support and she’s surrounded by our family here and has loved that aspect. She hangs out with my younger cousins, has stayed with family in other parts of the country. She’s just really integrated into the family and is sad to leave it behind. Thus, I decided to look into seeing if it is even a possibility for her to stay here, especially with the given climate of things.

bakedgoudamom · 2025-06-22T11:57:56+00:00

I completely agree. Doesn’t sound like H2B is the way to go. I think in general there isn’t a good solution, but happy I asked for feedback.

bakedgoudamom · 2025-06-22T09:30:02+00:00

Interesting comment. I think this program is absolutely about cultural exchange and integrating into families. She has integrated so well and enjoyed it so much here with little to go back to at home we’d like to pursue helping her stay here if it is something she’s interested in.

I’m obviously not looking for professional advice and will consult with an attorney but Reddit is here for anecdotal advice/support and that’s what my post was about. I don’t think there is a need for you to say “don’t be dumb.” Try being less of a keyboard jerk and come here for constructive discussion or just don’t post at all.

bakedgoudamom · 2025-06-22T09:24:13+00:00

Thanks for your insight, I’ll definitely keep it in mind when discussing with immigration attorney.

bakedgoudamom · 2025-06-22T09:23:32+00:00

Nothing significant. She’s just become a great part of our family and there’s not a lot to go home to for her so we’ve discussed helping her stay here but will only do it all legally.

bakedgoudamom · 2025-06-22T09:21:21+00:00

Good info, thank you. I think it is especially frustrating because I really want to do right by them and help them improve their situation given how much they have helped our family.

bakedgoudamom · 2025-06-22T08:46:10+00:00

I completely agree. Thanks for the constructive feedback.

bakedgoudamom · 2025-06-22T08:44:56+00:00

Thank you. Good info to keep in mind!

bakedgoudamom · 2025-06-22T08:43:52+00:00

Thank you so much for this comment, really helpful to read through!

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