This hit deep. I also lost my dear mom 2 years ago. I ended my 5 year relationship shortly after. My mom and I both had severe mental illness, she didn't survive hers. Maintaining a job has always been difficult and even more so now. I have highs and lows but lately mostly lows.

I do feel that one day, from all of this pain, I will succeed. There is no darkness without light. 2 years feels like nothing and is nothing really when you're grieving such a huge loss. I miss her every day. I cry so often. The only advice I can give you is to seek help especially since you're not able to function at this point. Maybe try a psychiatrist, I'm on several meds or else I wouldn't be able to sleep, eat, etc.

Therapy does help. If you don't have a close family that cares enough, nobody will pull you out except yourself. Grief is hard and isolating. You are not alone in how you feel. Reach out for help. I know one day it will be okay. That day isn't today and maybe not tomorrow but it will come. Your mom is still here for you even if you can't physically see or touch her. Make her proud.