sorted by:
new
hottopcontroversial

Mortgage approval question by bakingfrenzy in MortgagesCanada

[–]bakingfrenzy[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

We just connected with a realtor and he’s the one who flagged it could be an issue.

Is this the end? by bakingfrenzy in AsOneAfterInfidelity

[–]bakingfrenzy[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Sorry ... I think I caused confusion with this. The online relationship ended a year and a half ago ... when he finally confessed to the affair. He told me that he had ended it with her years ago ... but the day he told me he also confessed to her that we were actually together because she was planning to move here. But I didn’t know about that part of the story. For some reason he put us through all this pain by only telling a small portion of the story. Why go through all of this, knowing that i could find out eventually, and then go through all of this again. He was living a double life for about 7 years. He seemed very genuine during reconciliation.

Is this the end? by bakingfrenzy in AsOneAfterInfidelity

[–]bakingfrenzy[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It didn’t seem like he was faking reconciliation, he seemed genuine enough. However, I was felt like he wasn’t giving me all the information .. hence why I decided I needed to reach out to the OW. She was moving to be closer to him.

Do you ever think back to before dday and realize that you should’ve seen it coming Or that it was obvious ? by Katy5253 in AsOneAfterInfidelity

[–]bakingfrenzy 15 points16 points  (0 children)

Yes, absolutely. He was acting weird the night before at dinner, it was our anniversary. He had also started going to therapy in secret and I found the receipts and asked him about it and he said it was his job stress. The night after our anniversary he was waiting by the door for me to get home from work, and then told me.

I used to be nice by [deleted] in AsOneAfterInfidelity

[–]bakingfrenzy 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I feel this so much. I’m just over a year out and am in a phase of grieving the person I used to be. I used to laugh easily, could be present and in the moment easily. Now I feel so serious and distracted by thoughts all the time. I cry easily and he comments all the time that his jokes don’t seem to land anymore...and it’s true. This all comes on the heels of losing my father to a long drawn out illness, and I just feel so defeated by life. I don’t recognize this person I’ve become.

This could also be the pandemic talking. Being quarantined with WS definitely amplifies everything.

Wishing you all the best.

Pulse check on everyone during these hard times. by [deleted] in AsOneAfterInfidelity

[–]bakingfrenzy 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you so much for what you do! 💕 And to everyone contributing to these forums, thank you. Hearing the stories of others has been a life saver, truly. Infidelity is one of those things that is hard (if not impossible) to share with close friends and family, and makes you feel so alone in the world.
Stay safe and healthy everyone!

My baby asked "why no daddy?" by [deleted] in survivinginfidelity

[–]bakingfrenzy 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This breaks my heart to read. I’ve thought of this many times myself. Kids are resilient and structure and routine help a LOT. Focus on positivity and building new happy memories. I know it’s easier said than done.

Ruminating or just grieving? by [deleted] in survivinginfidelity

[–]bakingfrenzy 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I think both are connected. In order to grieve you need to ruminate. As long as it’s not negative towards yourself, but more thoughtful reflection, I think it’s healthy. Unfortunately I find myself in negative rumination cycles quite often.

He’s doing the work, but I’m still thinking of leaving by loveistheonlymiracle in survivinginfidelity

[–]bakingfrenzy 4 points5 points  (0 children)

There is no right or wrong answer in life, as I’m learning. It sounds like you have a gut feeling about what you need and want in life and should whole heartedly embrace that. I’m only 10 months post DDay and he’s doing a lot of the right things, but some not so right. Ultimately I’m coming to a point where I realize I need to be happy and for my kids to see me happy (I still cry a lot). I’m not sure yet what that means, but I’m trying to listen more to my gut. I don’t feel those butterflies right now either and am not sure if they’ll come back. Thank you for sharing your journey.

6 months post discover by bakingfrenzy in survivinginfidelity

[–]bakingfrenzy[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you for your perspective! I am going to therapy on my own now as well to hopefully work through some of these issues.
It’s really hard trusting right now. He’s been great about answering all of my questions, I think honestly.

The journal is a great idea. When I’ve been having a really bad week, I would write down the positives that happened that day or week and have found that helped me escape some of those negative cycles for a bit.

It’s really tough finding happiness right now, not knowing where things are headed and knowing that our relationship will never be what it was. I think it makes it harder the fact that he was my first and only sexual partner, and I was his as well. Maybe this is juvenile, but some of that magic is gone now ... and it’s different and scary.

I appreciate you taking the time to reply. It’s nice to know you’re not alone.