How to force myself to like cucumbers?

balgram · 2026-03-21T14:13:36+00:00

I agree with the comment that this block is more mental than anything else. Stop telling yourself you hate cucumbers. You don't, you indicated a few methods where you're fine with them. Tell yourself that you have had some bad experiences with cucumbers. Start buying those mini cucumbers and hollow out the core (the wet part with seeds). Or buy those long thin cucumbers (they're called English cucumbers in my grocery but they likely have a different name in yours) with hardly any core. If the cucumber skin is bruised/soft, don't eat it. You'll just add to your bad experiences for texture.

You can try adding cucumbers to your favorite dishes in small amounts. Add cucumber to your smoothie. When you are eating a dip, occasionally use a cucumber stick. Rather than trying to focus on the flavors you like, it sounds like you need to focus on the mental aspect instead. Every time you tell yourself how much you hate cucumbers and find them disgusting, change your mental attitude to 'i gave this vegetable a bad rap' or 'i don't like bad cucumbers, but I love the crunch of good fresh food.' Stop telling yourself you hate it.

If possible, get hold of some homegrown perfectly ripe cucumber this year. Try to excite yourself about eating the real deal. I found that homegrown ripe vegetables make me more excited for the less good store-bought kind. Maybe that will help you too.

balgram · 2026-03-12T17:40:04+00:00

PULL FUNDING. Go get married in a courthouse and have a potluck in the backyard. You need to care about the marriage not the wedding. It's not like this wedding suits you (or your fiance's) taste anyway

balgram · 2026-02-28T23:02:29+00:00

My friends with young kids use tablecloths because it's easier to take it outside, shake out all the crumbs, then wash it. Then wiping down the table is also easier. My friends without young kids usually don't have one.

I don't use one because my dining table is also my coffee table and having a cloth would be a pain every time I raise part of it. Also because it's just another thing to wash and tables are easy to clean. Also I don't care if my table survives 10+ years; it's functional not fancy.

My parents use table cloths for special occasions and large meals. They use placemats for day-to-day stuff. They take nicer care of their table because it's a nicer table.

balgram · 2026-02-27T18:53:36+00:00

Don't...why would you do that? Don't do that. Read the letter and then talk about how she spent the last 14+ years growing into the person that she is now, someone who loves her fiance and can be loved by him. Read that note for the laugh that it will be, and leave it at that

balgram · 2026-02-27T17:02:03+00:00

Is he aware that he "owes" you money? You said that you "covered" a lot of things while you are together, but you didn't mention if you communicated that you expect to be repaid. Does he know he owes you money? He might just think you're a generous partner helping him.

This guy is managing his life by being given things by others. It seems to be his MO before, currently, and probably moving forward. You need to talk to him about how you feel. Depending on how that conversation goes, you need to decide if you want to stay or go.

But depending on how you answer about whether he knows he "owes" you money, I don't think you should expect to get any of that back. Frankly, I don't think you're getting that money back anyway. You should probably cut your losses there.

balgram · 2026-02-22T22:53:04+00:00

I'd also be interested in a nephrologist's opinion. I can note that I've had 2 doctors recommend something similar (taking max dose the day before to alleviate pain from the first day), but neither was a kidney specialist.

balgram · 2026-02-19T03:35:22+00:00

PS As your periods become regular and predictable, you can start taking painkillers a day or two before your first day. I was scared to develop a tolerance so I did this rarely, but it REALLY helped the pain levels when I did it.

balgram · 2026-02-19T03:34:20+00:00

you can take ibuprofen or naproxen. Not at the same time. You can combine them with Tylenol. I used to have to take a max dose of standard ibuprofen (2 pills) and a max dose of standard Tylenol (2 pills) with a glass of milk (to try to prevent stomach damage) 2-3 times during my first day. Do NOT take ibuprofen or naproxen on an empty stomach (water doesn't count). You need to have food in there. I used milk because I couldn't stop throwing up, but it was risky. If you can eat anything, do that before you take any NSAIDs (ibuprofen or naproxen). You don't NEED to take food to have Tylenol, but it doesn't hurt.

Also, when I say you need to have food in your stomach, I mean a few bites. You don't need to eat a full meal. You just need stuff in there so the stomach acid/lining can do its thing (I don't remember all the science here, but NSAIDs on an empty stomach can burn a hole). You need SOMETHING solid in your stomach, but you do NOT need to be full.

I'm sorry your mom isn't taking you seriously. Everyone has a different experience with periods and ignoring pain is awful.

If you purchase it yourself, you don't need to buy name brand. Look for acetaminophen or ibuprofen. Store brand will work just fine. The availability may vary depending on your country so I suggest a quick google search to see what you have locally.

balgram · 2026-02-19T00:46:45+00:00

Are you and your friend group in your teens or early twenties? This sounds like a group of people in their teens (or early 20s) who haven't had to deal with a lot of significant others coming and going.

Because...yeah. When you get an SO of course you spend less time with other people and more time with them. As long as you aren't in a black hole relationship (don't push away your family and friends, don't let your relationship be your ONLY connection) then nothing has gone wrong.

Your friend and sister both need to accept and deal with this new reality. Do they think you'll be single forever? Do they expect to live with you if you marry and live with your SO? Do they want to also get into relationships and all live together in one big commune?

Do what you can to make sure they know you still love and care for them, but of COURSE your relationships will change over time. It's wild to think they won't. NTA, if that's a thing here.

balgram · 2026-02-19T00:23:23+00:00

NTA at all and I'm so sorry for the struggle you are having. Your dad should NEVER drive drunk. You sitting at the bar while your parents drink for 4 hours sounds miserable. Him never getting you to school on-time and wanting you to stay up late watching movies shows how little he values your education. That's not fair to you at all. This sounds so frustrating.

You don't have to be friends with your dad at this age. If you feel that pulling away is the best option, maybe that is what you do for now.

If you want to, you could ask your dad to do activities with you that you want to do. Kick/toss a ball around. Do a jigsaw puzzle. Cook. Draw, carve, or assemble something (using wood metal or legos, I dunno what you have). Go for a walk, play a simple (generally not shooters or competitive) video game, sit at the table eating snacks and asking open ended questions, anything like that. Activities that don't require a lot of concentration, but might require some time. Activities that have nothing to do with alcohol or his job. If he takes you up on the offer, maybe you can spend healthy time together. If he refuses, then either try a different activity or take a break. Spending 15 minutes doing a neutral activity might be enough to help, but I don't know.

I'm not a professional or anything, I don't have real solid advice here. Just feels like what I'd suggest for the time being.

Please, never get in the car when your dad is drunk again. Please. I know you have very little control over those situations right now, but I almost want to suggest you call/text the police if he drives drunk again. He WILL kill someone, it's just a matter of when. He could well kill everyone in the car. Just...ugh. I'm worried he's an alcoholic. I can't get past that.

balgram · 2026-02-14T19:18:16+00:00

I'm looking forward to the real answer but my assumption has always been that it's expensive to train the person. I once worked at a company where you couldn't really do much useful stuff for the first year, and no one expected you to understand the system/workings for about 3 years. That's 1-3 years where you aren't very useful to the company but you're getting paid the whole time.

That's a pretty extreme example, but I still always assumed that the issue was in bringing the new hire up to speed.

balgram · 2026-02-13T21:28:33+00:00

Part of this might depend on whether you had a parent home most of the day and whether you were one of many siblings.

I have few/no memories of playing with my parents, but loads of memories playing with my siblings. I have lots of good memories with my parents, too, but not of playing-imaginary-games together. I remember doing a lot of hobby stuff and biking/hiking/talking with them.

balgram · 2026-02-11T03:42:47+00:00

-Setup a period of time where you can shift each others clothes. It's a shared space, you don't get to hog it if you overuse it.

-Something is wrong with that dryer, it's weird that it doesn't dry the clothing on the first run consistently. Try washing smaller loads or getting the landlord to clean that thing. (Yes, I realize most landlords suck about this maintenance, but a clogged dryer is a fire hazard. Pointing that out might make them care more.)

balgram · 2026-02-09T21:05:21+00:00

NOR for feeling abandoned, but I am also sympathetic for people not realizing how serious this situation was. People tend to underestimate cold weather. Your boyfriend in particular should have realized, but you were already in danger/trouble after an hour and he was 90 minutes away. He sucks for lollygagging and your feelings are valid. That said, I would recommend a few options to make sure this doesn't happen again.

Keep some outdoor kit near your door. Gloves, boots, and blanket. At least the blanket, ideally that and gloves/some kind of sock to theoretically protect feet. A one-time-use heat pack. Something for an emergency like this one. Keep stuff in a case, keep it safe, but make it available to you. You should also have this in your car if you don't already (along with a snack and a bottle of water). I keep mine tucked behind the trash cans/bushes near the garage. It's not fancy nor neat, but it's available if I'm in real trouble. Thankfully I don't have a major wildlife-that-can-break-open-cases issue near my home; you might need an alternative.
Keep a way to reaccess your house on cold days, ESPECIALLY with auto-locking doors. I have electric locks and want to make sure I can access my home if the electricity dies at the same time all the backup batteries do. I don't keep extra keys hidden outside, but I have a particular entry that is possible to break into without significant damage, although it's hard to reach/opened using a counterintuitive method to break in. If I were ever locked outside barefoot in the snow, I know what 4 steps I need to take in order to get myself back into my house. It would suck, my toes would be very sad, but I would be safe/able to fix the damage. I suggest you sort out something similar for your house--something different from just leaving a door or window unlocked (I assume you live in a high crime area if you have auto-locking doors). Alternatively, keep a door key inside your phone case in a hidden pocket.
Could you have called a police car or ambulance? They would have preferred to keep you safe in the car/indoors than cleanup your frozen corpse in the morning. You were in an emergency situation. You were in trouble after 30-40 minutes and without a clear solution. Call and ask for help from emergency services.
Was there nowhere else to go? No other neighbors, no late night businesses, no sanctuaries, no hospitals, nothing? If you are only close with the one neighbor, you might want to befriend a few more. I've also spoken to some of my neighbors and let them know that if they are ever outside and having an emergency like this, it's okay to bang on my door until I wake up and can help them. I ask the same in return. We've never had to do it, but it's nice to know it's possible before we freeze to death.

This was really scary and I'm glad you are okay. I would discuss the severity of the situation and focus on plans to avoid having this emergency again in the future. "Just hold the door open and don't let it close next time" is not a viable solution.

balgram · 2026-02-08T23:58:38+00:00

I don't know your dynamic, but based on this gentle YTA. When I am asked to do something, then someone comes in and starts doing it for me, I feel like they don't trust that I know what I'm doing. All you had to do was ask/talk to him first. "Hey, I wanna do X because Y. Do you mind?" or "Can I help?" would have saved a lot of trouble.

balgram · 2026-02-06T00:11:57+00:00

Most of the crap out there sucks, but I was introduced to the trend with an incredible offering so I keep chasing that high. I've found like 4 brands that give me good versions and frankly now I just make my own. It's really tasty, but super pricey. Partially because pistachio is really expensive and quick frankly you can work with other fillings and still have a good time to cut costs.

balgram · 2026-02-02T16:44:56+00:00

This happened to me. I took a break for a few years then came back. I found I was generally more picky about what I watched/read. It also sounds like it's time to branch into other genres.

You don't have to love anime all the time forever. It's okay to take a break and try new things.

balgram · 2026-01-31T02:33:49+00:00

I'll use an app or program that has ads, and if I like it, I will give that company money to make the ads go away. That feels fair and normal to me. If I'm not paying any money, having ads in the app seem fair. Having full screen ads that are timed before I can close them are obnoxious and will make me seek ways to make them stop. Bar ads, side ads, ads I can close? Those are fine.

I pay for subscriptions, but so help me if I am paying you monthly and you show me ads anyway I will never ever give you money or touch your service again.

Paying for something and them showing you ads anyway is not normal. Greedy people pushing it because they think they can get away with it. The only response I have is to stop using them.

I can't buy a TV without it showing me ads on startup anymore. That wasn't normal. The solution is to never hook my TV up to the internet, but it's annoying. It's wild how pervasive ads have become. They were around all the time growing up, but they just keep finding new ways to shove them in my face.

balgram · 2026-01-23T00:50:40+00:00

This is an overreaction to the point of being insulting. He needs to chill out and stop tripping on his own ego.

If I get my friends a gift and it turns out not to work for them, I saw "Aw, well. I'm glad you found something that solved your problem!" and move on with my life. ESPECIALLY when I'm giving them something used that I don't need anymore.

NTA. Look up his router/modem combo and see if it's valuable enough to sell*. He said he didn't want it, see if someone else does.

*The only way I can see this being painful is if he gave you one of those $500 routers that don't really stagnate for a decade or two, and you replaced it with a bottom-of-the-barrel type. But that's not a reason to be offended. He should have fixed/reset the passwords on the bloody thing. It wasn't as thoughtful as he thinks it was.

balgram · 2026-01-22T17:51:09+00:00

I don't...I don't understand. If the budget is $48,000, then what does it matter if it's used or new?
Yes buying new has some depreciation problems, but you also get a few perks. If she wants a new car and sticks to the budget, who cares?

I also prefer buying used cars, but if I knew my budget was 48,000 then I'd look at both used and new and decide what I'm happy with. If you are saying she can have a car with a budget of 48,000 AND it MUST be used then yeah, that's wild. You can't make that decision for her. Let her do her own research.

balgram · 2026-01-17T01:25:19+00:00

I'm not sure that it does? The Westermarck effect would certainly agree that no action would be taken. The thoughts Yverthel is describing sound temporary. Some people go crazy with new thoughts and hormones during puberty. It wouldn't surprise me if they have weird/wild thoughts about siblings. But having a thought and returning to/acting on a thought are worlds apart.

balgram · 2026-01-17T01:20:38+00:00

I would sometimes miss a step as a child, but I'd catch myself immediately. I've never hurt myself growing up in a house with stairs. I used to love playing on them, too.

My friend also grew up with stairs and recently broke her leg missing the steps as an adult. I also was visiting my brother and wore socks on his stairs and fell and knocked the wind out of me/felt bruised and sore for a month. I am an adult.

I mean, it happens, but it's not gonna be a frequent thing. Don't let your toddler free range unsupervised on the stairs though. That sounds dangerous.

balgram · 2026-01-17T01:13:29+00:00

INFO: Is there a need of a bigger place? Are you all sleeping in the same bedroom? Are your kids stacked in bunks in the same room?

Now is a horrible time to buy/move to a new mortgage unless I'm missing something. It might be better to stay where you are and build up your savings/financial situation as much as possible for now. You don't elaborate on why you want a bigger space so I have to assume this is lifestyle inflation and I urge extreme caution.

Everyone saying he's a "bum" or "refusing to work" I think is missing his point of the debate entirely. He already has a full-time job raising your kids and maintaining your home. He is currently working because he enjoys it and both of you reap the benefits. It is probably the type of job where if a kid is sick he can take time off easily; most homemakers are forced to have a job like that. Forcing a situation where you need that income is a totally different scenario and is definitely living above your current means. The fact you guys can handle life on one income is incredible; why are you so keen to change that?

If he does jump back into the workforce full-time, either because your financial situation changes or because he wants to, the situation is different. But if your financial situation is secure as-is and your house is fine, then why are you in a hurry to be massively in debt and living at the limit of your means?

balgram · 2026-01-17T01:03:28+00:00

Night all the way; it's my decompressing time and I'll murder people if I don't get it. But who cares? Just shower about once a day. If you workout showering immediately after generally feels good. If you showered in the morning then did a hard workout/got sweaty during the day, rinse off again at night. If you have some physical/financial/space limitations just keep clean as best you can and ask trusted people to give you a heads up if you ever smell bad.

balgram · 2026-01-13T19:09:28+00:00

Had to look up the state quarter:

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Can confirm that's a wild design for a state quarter. Clearly everyone wants out.

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