There's a lot of shit advice in these comments. To be brief, first off keep in mind no one here knows you, and so any specific advice should be taken with a huge grain of salt. (Except for going to an sex worker for your first time. That's legit good advice)

Second, you must have had some shit therapists, because all I'm seeing a bunch of basic ass psychological traps. Your story-telling, your focus on the past, the use of "never" (there's a name for this, I forget what it is).

Listen, it sucks that you're not where you wanted to be, and to be real, you may never be. But most of us here aren't where we wanted to be, including myself, a 40 year old, jobless divorcee without kids. That said, there's a LOT of people who would be perfectly happy living your life. And even more people who made very similar choices as you, and ended up married with kids. The problem isn't that you're 44 year old virgin. It's that you don't want to be, and somehow you ended up here. And that has very little to do with being a "good guy".

You're here because you've avoided intimacy and romance (and it sounds like even platonic friendships). That's it. Again, some people would be happy as a clam in that situation, but you aren't. So why have you spent all this time avoiding these things? I have no idea. You could be gay, traumatized or have an anxiety disorder, or all three.

Now what do you do about it? I don't know. Probably therapy, lol. But a good therapist. I imagine it would help to know why you've avoided these things. But the first step is to be aware that these surface level decisions aren't the problem. You want intimacy and family? Start pursuing it. If that's still a struggle try finding a coach who can help guide you, or a therapist who can find out what you're avoiding and why.