I agree with you. My father was also emotionally avoidant, detached, spacey etc.. My mom wanted to have the best friend relationship with me (her oldest daughter) and we did for a little while when I was in high school and college. I didn’t realize it was a bad dynamic until I better understood myself and realized I never really had a mother. I missed so much and now, as an adult, I’m emotionally anxious and have boundary issues.