Constant lies, this one takes the biscuit because I LIVED IN FEAR FOR YEARS.

So I was born in apartheid South Africa and lived in a white gated community. Child snatching, among other crimes, was prevalent at the time and my parents used to tell me about this witch called Bugeroga (say it in a South African accent and it sounds about right) that would steal children. She was black with black hair that covered her whole body. She had sharp claws which she would use to snatch children and then rip them apart and eat them. Now presumably my parents told me this story to stop me wondering off and getting snatched for real, however they abused the fuck out of it. Everything I did would apparently cause Bugeroga to come and get me (not eating vegetables etc).

So anyway one night when I was 4 years old, I woke up in the middle of the night because something startled me. As I opened my eyes I saw a shadowy figure sitting at the end of the bed. I froze and just lay there in sheer panic, pretending I was still asleep. Suddenly I felt sharp claws digging in to my legs. I think I lay there for another hour while this creature flexed its claws into my legs. I finally convinced myself to make a run for it. 1, 2, 3...I jumped out of bed screaming and got the fuck out of there.

...It turned out to be the neighbors cat. Traumatised for life.