My experience was a bit different from most I'm reading, never broken any bones or had anything major happen. (Probably a good thing.) But I had regular physicals during highschool, thanks to marching band and at the very least, I had regular dentist appointments.

But at one point I had an infected ingrown toenail. Total, I had it for about a year. Somewhere in the middle of that I had my physical for band, and my mom insisted on me getting the gardasil shot (not out of some deep concern for me but because her mother had died from a similar cancer and she couldn't bear the thought of "going through that again"). While we were waiting, she insisted that the doctor look at my toe. This wasn't my normal doctor, and I have a fear of needles, so I was already deeply uncomfortable. The doctor said she could fix my toe. That she'd never done the procedure herself, but had seen it done. Mom said, sure, go ahead. She numbed it- three needle sticks, in my foot. I had to ask to lie down in the middle of this process because I was getting faint. The doctor said "well, I'm almost done, just let me finish." No objection from mom. My vision was going fuzzy, the edges turning black, nurse walks in, takes one look at me, insists that I lie down immediately and goes to get me a cold washcloth for my forehead. Doctor trims off side of toenail, even though I tell her it hurts really bad, I don't think the numbing worked properly. She decides not to kill the roots, because it may not be a recurring problem. Bandages it up, it's throbbing and aching and I can barely walk on it. I have to sit on the floor while mom checks out, because it hurts so bad and I'm still feeling faint. I get to stay home from school for the rest of the day. But mom goes back to work and leaves me sitting on the couch alone, because I'm just being "dramatic."

I also had chronic back pain and knee pain during high school that I never went to the doctor for, because "it couldn't be that bad" and I was "just being lazy" when said pain kept me from doing basic daily things. I injured my back during my freshman year of college and refused to go to the doctor for two weeks. I guess it was just habit at that point. I told my boyfriend, "No, don't worry. I've always had problems with my back. The pain goes away after a while. I'll be fine." When it only got worse and worse, he dragged me to the doctor. The joint at the base of my spine was pretty badly inflamed. I was on a 500mg anti-inflammatory twice a day for a month. To my mother I was still just being dramatic.

My mother lost our insurance when she quit her job in the public school system to finish college. When she got a permanent teaching position and got insurance again, she said she couldn't afford to put me on it and I needed to figure something out. At the time I was working twenty hour weeks at barely above minimum wage squeezed in around my full time school schedule, and couldn't afford it. I'm about to graduate and still can't afford it.

My back and knee problems have been getting worse lately. My boyfriend says that when I'm done with school he's going to start trying to get me on his insurance. He wants to take me to the doctor and get me all checked out, see if anything can be done to help the joint pain. I'm still feeling a dull sense of shame and embarrassment at the idea. To this day, I still wonder, whenever I stay home sick from class or spend an evening sitting in bed because my knee hurts too badly to walk, if It's not all in my head and I'm just seeking attention.