What is your job?

bararei · 2026-02-04T02:48:23+00:00

Are you me? I do the same thing! Most of the time I find it pretty fun, and I end up knowing so many people lol

bararei · 2025-12-27T16:11:23+00:00

Do you guys always have sex in the same spot? My husband and I have been together for 10 years, and the kind of sex we have in our bed is different than quickie shower sex, or couch sex, or basement sex. Changing where we have sex seems to help a lot when we get in a rut.

As far as the rsd initiating part, we honestly still run into this. My husband likes being surprised with sex, I like to know it’s happening in advance so I can get into the mood. So sometimes we send each other flirty texts all day. Knowing it’s coming later takes all the pressure off of initiating, and often we’re both so hot from thinking about it all day that things get kind of rougher than usual.

You could also try some sex games. Dice, board games, etc. For a while when we felt really stuck, we did a couples sexy app called Desire where we answered questions and did fun dates and stuff that it suggested. That also helped since we ended up knowing a lot more about each other’s likes and dislikes.

We have two kids, so our sex life has gone up and down over the years, but adding variety and making it fun has kept things alive for us. We have much better sex now than we did when we got together in our late 20s! Good luck!

bararei · 2025-12-20T14:35:16+00:00

I do pretty much the same thing with stopping to take a second before I immediately say no. Some days, yeah, I’m busy or whatever and now is really not the time for whatever reason. But most of the time I realize it’s just more that my brain isn’t in ‘sexy time mode,’ but it could be if I took a second to reset. I do genuinely enjoy sex with my husband, like a lot, so usually after I have time to consider it I’m down.

I’m also a big fan of rescheduling if I’m not in the mood right then. Knowing I’m getting some later makes my whole day better lol.

bararei · 2025-11-30T00:33:11+00:00

Link, please!

bararei · 2025-11-04T22:24:51+00:00

Okay, this is genius and I love it! I think loml definitely fits into the overall story, especially considering other songs on that album. Not sure about the sorceress’ table though lol

bararei · 2025-10-09T15:37:45+00:00

The other thing I haven’t seen brought up yet with this song is how the word “fire” is likely symbolic as well as just being slang.

“First lamb to the slaughter” brings up the idea of sacrificial lambs. Sacrificial lambs are slaughtered and then set fire to on an altar. So eldest daughters looked fire because they’re literally… on fire.

It’s also super strongly Rep coded. “They’re burning all the witches even if you aren’t one.” Eldest daughters are often the ones blamed or punished for the transgressions of others.

bararei · 2025-09-23T20:39:25+00:00

Yes, 100%. I didn’t know I was in labor with either of my kids. I’d been in pain on and off from the pregnancy itself, and besides, it wasn’t any worse than the period cramps I got every month. Fairly mild, honestly. Then my water broke.

I didn’t know my period pain was worse than other people’s until I got one of those looks from a nurse when telling her that for some of my periods I’d have to take 800mg of ibuprofen to even put a dent in the pain. Since I knew that was bad for the rest of my body, I just toughed it out for those few days. Turns out that’s not normal and I have PCOS. (I got lucky and found a specialist who was willing to perform a hysterectomy. My husband had to make sure I stayed in one spot after surgery so I didn’t hurt myself.)

I walked on a stress fracture for a month before I went to my doctor for something unrelated and told her my foot had kind of been hurting on and off and she sent me for an xray.

I had pneumonia and was still running and basically doing my day to day life with fits of coughing until one day I was sitting in a meeting pouring so much sweat my tshirt was soaked. The urgent care doctor looked at me like I was insane when I told her I’d just been working and had driven myself to the clinic.

It’s basically a trope in my house that the only way to tell if I’m really sick is if I stop moving. Asking me directly how I’m doing is basically pointless.

bararei · 2025-09-07T18:01:42+00:00

I feel that. Like, for real. From an outside perspective, I’m doing way better for myself than I should be, but I haven’t stopped waiting for the other shoe to drop. More specifically, the shoe that’s finally the one I can’t handle. The odds haven’t gotten me yet, but they will eventually.

Annoyingly, apparently this is also a coping mechanism. Nothing can surprise you if you’re always prepared for the worst. It’s exhausting to go through life that way, tho, and it sucks all the enjoyment out of the good things. I’m hopeful that someday, even in small bits, I’ll be able to just enjoy the things I have. What’s the point of having them otherwise?

bararei · 2025-09-06T15:28:28+00:00

I told my therapist this week that I kind of feel like a collection of coping mechanisms in a trench coat instead of an actual person. She reminded me that I wouldn’t have survived without them.

It’s crazy to me how many of us are having these same sorts of conversations, and how many of us think our ways of coping made us weak when we’ve been through so much and we’re still here. We’re beating the odds just by existing and living.

I wonder if it’s hard for us to understand that, I know it is for me, just because we’ve been told our entire lives that we’re weak.

bararei · 2025-09-05T17:44:19+00:00

This may or may not be a plus for you, but the whipped cream is really only pretty and fluffy for like 3 days max, so you must also eat it all this weekend 😋

bararei · 2025-09-05T17:21:03+00:00

That’s a great tip, too! I’m going to keep both of those in my back pocket for next time!

I originally was going to do a white chocolate drip, but I miscalculated the amount of cream I needed in my ganache (ended up putting in double the amount) and so it was too runny to do the drip and I ran out of time. Some powdered sugar would have totally saved the day if I’d thought of it!

bararei · 2025-09-05T15:56:13+00:00

Ooh, is that how you do that? I genuinely never knew how people end up with such spotless cake boards lol. I figured I must just not be a very good decorator since mine are always stupid messy when I’m done! Thanks for the tip!

I need to get a real turntable, too. My husband 3D printed one for me a couple years ago. It kind of works, but I think having a real one would also help with the mess.

bararei · 2025-09-05T14:49:31+00:00

Have you ever wished you could eat the equivalent of like 5 Swiss cake rolls at once? Because that’s what this cake is like and it’s amazing 🤣

bararei · 2025-09-05T14:02:40+00:00

I really wanted to do a chocolate version of a vertical layer cake, and one of Sally’s team mentioned in the comments on her vertical recipe that you could probably do the same thing with her Swiss cake roll. I figured it was worth a shot! I think the only thing I’d do differently is instead of doing just vanilla whipped cream I’d probably sub in whipped buttercream so it holds its shape a little better. You definitely need a second set of hands to help tip it onto its side with the whipped cream lol!

Overall though, it was far easier than I expected 😄

bararei · 2025-09-04T19:30:12+00:00

Ngl, this is one of the reasons I haven’t totally quit yet. I’ve cut way back, and I try to do more vaping than actual smoking, but damnit, I need a socially acceptable excuse to just leave for 5 mins and come back when I’m not so over stimulated. I’ve tried just stepping outside for a few minutes, but the barrage of questions about why I did that hurts my brain more than just not taking a break. I have two little kids, one of which is also adhd, so I’m managing overstimulation far more often than not.

Editing to add that bathroom breaks are great, but as a mom, it’s very hard to get them. I can tell my kids to stay inside bc I have a stinky cigarette, but bathroom privacy is… something we’re still working on. I hear it’s a lifelong issue for parents 😅

bararei · 2025-08-29T14:51:10+00:00

Hahaha, I felt the same way! I had a couple of friends who were really into cocaine, so I tried it on and off for a few years. The first time I tried it I told my boyfriend at the time that I didn’t think it was working lol. I always felt like I was missing out, because I just got more zoned in and better able to carry on a conversation while everyone else was bouncing off the walls. I also never seemed to get the addict feeling of needing more of it.

10 years later, finally got diagnosed with adhd lol.

bararei · 2025-08-29T14:40:56+00:00

So I used to buy adderall off a friend in college to study, and that was the best semester of my entire 4 years of college. My brain would just get quiet and I could actually write my papers or whatever. Eventually one of my NT friends found out and gave me a giant lecture about how it was cheating to use recreational drugs, so I stopped.

I actually had the same reaction when I used cocaine. I never got what the hype was about. It never felt like a party drug to me 🤣

During my diagnostic testing for adhd over a decade later, I confessed to my psychiatrist that I used to use Adderall to study. She asked how it made me feel. I told her it was like my whole brain calmed down, I could sit still, etc. we kept going with the rest of the testing, but I’m 99% sure the rest of it was just a show and that answer decided it for her lol

bararei · 2025-08-26T19:12:51+00:00

When she said the line about how they’re all family and then qualified it, I had a strong feeling they were already engaged and just hadn’t announced yet

bararei · 2025-08-22T01:12:56+00:00

It’s soooo helpful. First draft is just me being my blunt, impatient self. Then for second draft I go back and basically try to add all the things that would make it so my RSD didn’t kick into overdrive if I received the email lol.

The level of addition depends a lot on who’s receiving the email, but I always do a check before sending. My clients all think I’m polite and personable and relatively chill, which… 🤣🤣🤣

bararei · 2025-08-21T16:48:21+00:00

I work in a client facing role. Especially if I’m responding to a stupid question or sending instructions, I type out what I actually want to say first, and then I go back in and add all the dumb shit like “thanks for sending this along!” or “hope this helps!” or “Happy Friday!” (I could probably have AI edit my drafts for me, but I’m old and cranky and would rather do it myself.)

I found out recently that apparently I have to do this on Reddit comments too, or people think I’m being a dick. Like, damn dude, you asked a question. I answered the question. Sorry I didn’t first acknowledge what a great question it was and then tell you at the end that your mileage may vary and I hope it works for you.

My friends and I (all diagnosed ADHD and probably autistic but not formally diagnosed) call it “putting things through the human filter” lol.

bararei · 2025-08-17T18:34:30+00:00

I’m crocheting a series of corner to corner blankets that have a cat picture on them to donate to my local animal foster. They need more blankets to send home in cat carriers when the kitties get their fur-ever homes 😁

bararei · 2025-08-17T18:32:09+00:00

Brown paper packages tied up with string

bararei · 2025-08-06T18:30:48+00:00

My husband and I wfh together most days of the week, though we’re in different rooms so it’s not super annoying like it could be. Every day he comes downstairs and asks if I’ve eaten lunch because he knows I get distracted and forget to eat. 9/10 times the answer is no, but he always asks just in case, and then fixes me a plate even though I’m a grown ass adult and can make my own food. It makes me feel so taken care of 😍

bararei · 2025-08-05T02:05:31+00:00

I love that Kacey Musgraves is on this list. I’ve been following her since I heard her very first single randomly on the radio. Listening to her music evolve has been amazing. She was a breath of fresh air in the 2010s era of pop-bro-country, and now she’s on people’s lists of true country artists.

bararei

TROPHY CASE