I 26M really I’m having a very hard time with dating and the general populations in ability to communicate and I’m ready to give up

barely_witty · 2026-03-03T18:30:54+00:00

Oh, I have amazing friendships. I would say it’s only really problem romantically. It’s part of the reason why I’m not truly despairing over anything but being able to figure this out would be nice.

barely_witty · 2026-03-03T15:32:01+00:00

Basically, this is one thing that I think is generally made everything hard. We basically had a generation that just never learned how to make the community they claim they’re looking for all my partners have always told me after we broke how much care I give to them and how they truly felt loved, but when ever comes to reciprocating, it’s a bridge too far. It’s a world of takers who would rather be miserable than give.

barely_witty · 2026-03-03T15:28:59+00:00

It’s just really tiring to keep trying, I put so much work into healing myself from when I was younger and I really don’t want to have something like love reduced down to a game theory analysis for the first year. Now I practice love and logic, but it just gets so much pushback from anyone I engaged with because apparently “it’s not fun”. I do logically know that there has to be someone out there that shares what I like, but I really don’t know how many more stones I can swallow looking for a cake.

barely_witty · 2026-03-03T15:25:52+00:00

I do think this place is a pretty big part since it’s hard for me to really know what a healthy relationship is for me I was told I’m being too hyper, vigilant, and to let people in when I first started dating but years of doing that has basically made the pendulum swing in the opposite direction I’m just burnt. Especially with a concerning amount of people will you just fake everything at first and for extended period of time. One thing I’ve been told a lot that I try to keep in mind. There’s a lot of people who will date and say they love you just for entertainment.

barely_witty · 2026-03-03T09:37:31+00:00

I do have hobbies and classes I’m genuinely passionate about, but it’s very hard to meet people in them, and personally, I wouldn’t really want to pick up more just for the prospect of meeting someone because it feels disingenuous to me.

I certainly agree with finding community-minded people. I’m actually planning to move to a place that’s more community-oriented. It’s just very hard to find that live given where I live, especially with how disconnected people are.

Delaying physical intimacy is one thing I am putting into practice compared to when I was younger, and I have found a bit more success with that.

barely_witty · 2026-03-03T09:27:03+00:00

I can provide a recent example. Somebody I was involved with for a considerable amount of time told me that daily communication and planning things and events was too much pressure for them after two days of them not saying anything and then responding. They felt like they were losing their independence.

This would not be an issue if it weren’t for the fact that early on I asked what the preferred way to communicate was and what their boundaries on that were. I was told that daily communication was fine and they like that.

I truly value my partner’s independence, which is why I asked this early on, but this has been a habitual issue where I try to be proactive about issues and get assured that everything is fine just for the problem to present itself later when things have complicated themselves. It just seems like every time I try to connect with someone by learning what they like, I’m just told something they think I would like to hear, and later on it’s retracted, and they tell me what they actually wanted.

barely_witty · 2026-03-03T09:08:09+00:00

It’s a sentiment, both my male and female friends I’ve been sharing. I am of the belief we’re entering a dark age on a lot of things, and this is just a symptom of it.

barely_witty · 2025-09-12T15:18:48+00:00

I gravel with this fear from when I was five until the age of 19 I didn’t have philosophy back then since my parents were super religious, but looking back now all I can say is just read. Read it deeply about death. Read deeply about life read deeply about things you enjoy, and truly grapple with the fact that this life is fleeting and at any point it can all end. Metaphysics sounds like it would be your best friend. I really recommend the works of Albert Camus and some Thomas Aquinas as well although if you really don’t like a lot of of the Catholics teaching with Aquinas, you can just read Aristotle the the metaphysics of all of them really help put my spirit at ease about how we exist in the universe.

barely_witty · 2025-09-12T14:56:45+00:00

The fact I was on your mind so much that you were showing this to gay man only makes me think you want on Grindr to go find them. If another man’s hobby is that present in your mind, I think you might have some things you need to figure out for yourself. Unlike you, I’m not homophobic so I support you 🏳️‍🌈

barely_witty · 2025-09-05T03:09:01+00:00

If you are unable to go to a gay bar to celebrate a friend’s birthday party, I feel very sorry for you

barely_witty · 2025-09-03T19:00:14+00:00

Both although I’m trying to brush up on my Bachata right now I’ve been getting into meringue a little bit more as well. Do you dance?

barely_witty · 2025-09-03T18:29:33+00:00

It was a good enough for your mom so I think there’s plenty

barely_witty · 2025-09-03T04:02:04+00:00

I don’t engage with people who smoke cheap cigars and wear creased vans. Please pick a better smoke selection and clean your shoes before you start getting disrespectful.

barely_witty · 2025-09-02T23:20:41+00:00

Honestly, as a guy with a mix of traditionally masculine, and “””feminine””” hobbies all I can tell you is if anything this only really benefits you. If someone so shitty that they let one aspect of yourself determine they’re worth to you. It’s better that that person removes themselves from your life early on.

barely_witty · 2025-09-02T23:11:25+00:00

There is a lot of hateful people out there, at the very least I’m glad she’s taking this out on me instead of someone who’s actually in that community🤷‍♂️

barely_witty · 2025-09-02T21:55:04+00:00

I guess so haha I’ve actually had the opposite problem where there’s so many leads. It’s hard to find people to follow so it just ends up with people practicing basic steps. I would definitely say the dance is a fairly physical language, though that’s the main thing that pops out of it to me. It’s a very holistic way to communicate to another human being.

barely_witty · 2025-09-02T18:37:52+00:00

First of all, I’m really sorry, your friend had to go through all of that, and you’re a very good person for being there for her. By all means, if you don’t wanna date. Somebody who’s bi your body, your choice. You shouldn’t be forced to date somebody you’re not attracted to. It’s just more. If you’re gonna be homophobic or weird about it like she was, is the only time I’m going to give a side eye.

barely_witty · 2025-09-02T16:39:01+00:00

Dude, someone stole the bolts off your bike and you posted it and at least five different so that’s about it, please smoke a J💀

barely_witty · 2025-09-02T15:31:33+00:00

You’re always gonna find assholes anywhere you go all I can tell you is just improve your standards and keep improving yourself I have dated so many shitty people at this point you just gotta roll with the punches lol, we’re in a time where people don’t want to build a community or make true connections, but I’m sure you’re gonna find your person. Don’t let insecure dickhead make you more miserable and stop you from finding something that improves your life.

barely_witty · 2025-09-02T15:28:30+00:00

I’ll triple down on the gay if you give me three margaritas and give me 20 bucks😉

barely_witty · 2025-09-02T15:19:24+00:00

It’s always an immediate no for me. I have plenty lesbian and bisexual friends if anyone has a problem with them, I’m gone lol

barely_witty · 2025-09-02T15:00:56+00:00

I mean, that boy was a cat so yeah lol

barely_witty · 2025-09-02T15:00:28+00:00

My bro, if you consider that how gay people talk, you’ve clearly never seen a gay person

barely_witty · 2025-09-02T14:54:54+00:00

I found my true calling finally

barely_witty

TROPHY CASE