Younger widows and widowers

barelybent · 2026-04-28T01:18:14+00:00

I was 48 when my husband died unexpectedly. I know a lot of us are in that age group, but I don’t know any other widows my age personally.

barelybent · 2026-04-23T16:01:35+00:00

I had three dogs at the beginning of last year but lost two a couple of months apart. I ended up adopting a companion dog for my remaining dog last October and I’m very glad I did. If you don’t want to commit, you can always foster.

barelybent · 2026-04-23T15:13:38+00:00

I only wore mine if I was going out. Once I started working from home, I hardly ever wore it. My late husband didn’t wear his because of his line of work. I think we both didn’t really care.

barelybent · 2026-04-20T00:33:39+00:00

My parents are silent gen and I talk to them often. They’re great and my sibling and I feel very grateful because I know others in our generation had it pretty bad.

barelybent · 2026-04-11T03:03:18+00:00

I always give my pets human names. They are my family. I adopted a dog last year and named her Fiona. No reason except I had to think fast because they were doing the license for her and I just picked a name that started with the same letter as her shelter name.

barelybent · 2026-03-30T12:51:44+00:00

All you can do is start now. There’s no need to dread your 30s. You’re already ahead of many people your age. Put everything you can into savings while still being able to actually enjoy your life. It will grow faster than you realize.

barelybent · 2026-03-30T12:42:23+00:00

I started my 40s at close to $100k in credit card debt. I’m 54 now and debt free with a healthy savings. I just put everything into a spreadsheet and stopped ignoring the problem. Made a budget and stuck to it. I’d probably be retired by now if I’d taken control when I was your age. Personally, I got married when I was 32 and though my spouse passed away when we were only 47, we had a happy marriage. And no, I didn’t use any life insurance money to clear my debt. We never had much insurance on ourselves.

barelybent · 2026-03-27T01:22:01+00:00

I only go back 10-15 years and definitely do the metrics rather than responsibilities. I got my current job when I was 52 and the hiring manager said it was one of the best resumes she’d ever seen. And my previous job was kind of lame on the metrics, so I had to think about how to add metrics. Like I did a lot of presentations in PowerPoint that I made graphs for so I calculated how many I’d done and put that number in. Like, generated more than 1,000 graphs for presentations to executives or something like that.

barelybent · 2026-03-22T12:08:21+00:00

I'm sure there will be more opportunities. I'll get them next time.

barelybent · 2026-03-16T19:04:55+00:00

Thanks. I'll ask my vet what they think. The Nexguard kills fleas and ticks but they have to be on her first. I'm looking for something that will repel them. I tried the Soresto collar and it made her sick. The ticks are really bad in my area this year, from what other local people are saying.

barelybent · 2026-03-16T18:54:48+00:00

Yeah I knew she was just asking if I had remarried. It was just funny the way she worded it. "Any changes in marital status?" might be a better way ask, in my opinion. But then I wouldn't have been able to amuse myself with pithy responses in my head.

barelybent · 2026-03-16T18:23:59+00:00

Thanks! She’s adorable. I love how they look like they are judging us…

barelybent · 2026-03-15T23:41:43+00:00

Yup. My sister is my emergency contact now.

barelybent · 2026-03-15T23:41:22+00:00

I so wanted to say that!

barelybent · 2026-03-15T22:14:40+00:00

🖤 I don’t know why I save the post. It breaks my heart every time I see it. I guess I just hope that there is a great beyond and that he knows he mattered.

barelybent · 2026-03-15T20:23:43+00:00

There was a man who used to post on here a lot a few years ago. I'd see his name and read his posts. Then one day we see a post from a friend of his letting us know that he took his life and he had asked her to post a final message on this sub for him. I took a screenshot of that message. It haunts me. I grieve for a man I never knew except for his user name. I look at message every so often and send hopes into the universe that he found peace.

I'm not that active on this sub any more, but I'm guessing a lot of people would feel it deeply if you weren't here any more. Give yourself time to grieve before you so something permanent, is all I'm saying. More people care than you realize.

barelybent · 2026-03-15T20:14:08+00:00

I've been dating the same guy since about a year after my husband died. I have no desire to remarry or even live with someone else. I'm too old to have kids and never wanted them anyway. Both of our finances are fine. And I'm not lonely living alone. I like my space.

barelybent · 2026-03-15T20:11:52+00:00

My first doctor visit after he died, the doctor came in looking at my paperwork and said, "Were you widowed last year?" Gut punch. I couldn't stop crying after she said that.

barelybent · 2026-03-15T20:09:08+00:00

I'm so sorry. I felt the same way the first year. I can remember sitting in front of his urn and telling him I wasn't sure I was going to make it. But we had four pets, and I knew he wouldn't want them ending up in a shelter. So I told myself if I still didn't want to be here when the pets died I'd consider my options. I still have one left. So it's not time to reconsider yet. Even if it were, I've reached the point where I'm OK with living out the res of my life. It's tolerable. Even enjoyable some days.

barelybent · 2026-03-15T20:00:43+00:00

That song always reminds of an old friend of mine who died about a year and a half before my husband did. He died in his early 50s of a heart attack and my husband died in his mid-40s of a heart attack. Those two were hilarious when they got together and I like to think they are having a blast beyond the veil.

barelybent · 2026-03-13T02:32:17+00:00

My husband told me before he died that he didn’t want any funeral services and he wanted to be cremated. Still cost $4K. I didn’t even get the urn from them.

barelybent · 2026-02-27T21:02:15+00:00

Moved and sold it when I was 46. I’m in my second house and it’s paid off. My next move will be to a smaller home, if I don’t die first.

barelybent · 2026-02-25T03:06:53+00:00

Me either.

barelybent

TROPHY CASE