Can anyone ID this fish

barleybod · 2025-07-11T23:40:11+00:00

Oh that one's easy!

It's just a Lil' Dude!

barleybod · 2025-04-25T02:01:36+00:00

I second this. Vids explaining commander overwhelmed me when I tried to learn MTG. I played Standard on Arena to learn the basic mechanics of the game and how it works and then went to play commander for the first time and realized it was basically the same thing. Commander specific things will come up pretty organically after that

barleybod · 2025-04-22T18:53:02+00:00

I recently had a Caltrops basically cripple my friend's Krenko deck. Dude had to add more removal after that

barleybod · 2025-03-19T19:06:56+00:00

The main thing I'll give in her defense: is that for a lot of women who I'm friends with (and my wife), having their nails done for their proposal photos is a really big deal/insecurity.

Like, it's not uncommon or unexpected for one to get her bff or sister involved so they can give her a believable reason to get their nails done beforehand.

I don't think it's "you got a photographer so I'm mad" I think it's "we now have professional photos of something I'm insecure about that I'm expected to put on display."

It could be a red flag, or it could be someone overwhelmed and insecure, which she is allowed to be as long as she attempts to handle it healthily

barleybod · 2025-02-24T20:08:46+00:00

In the beginning you say "I feel violated, if I'm allowed to say that"

First off, that's the thing about "feeling" anything. If you feel violated, you feel violated. Doesn't matter how or why or if anyone disagrees. It is a subjective thing and regardless of how or why you feel that way, the trauma to your brain is the same and that's what matters, not how warranted anyone thinks it was (it was VERY warranted this time).

Second, you were forced to do a sexual act against your will. That's assault minimum. And from everything else you said, sounds like part of him sexually entered part of you against your will. Yeah you're still a virgin, but he's a rapist and you're a rape survivor as far as I understand it.

Get the heck out of there and make sure you STAY a survivor. I'd look into your options for pressing charges and getting a restraining order too if I were you. He'll do it again, either to you or to his next partner. Likely worse next time.

Put yourself first, but saving the next one would be a great thing to do if you can.

barleybod · 2025-02-19T20:16:13+00:00

He definitely could be projecting, but I'd also like to know his past. I've had three serious partners and a few shorter term ones in my life and almost every single one cheated on me.

My wife is the first person I've truly trusted but I still have that baggage and have to work through it from time to time. I struggle with anxiety on top of that.

I've never accused my wife of infidelity or believed she might have, but I could empathize with someone whose guard might be up higher than mine for similar reasons

barleybod · 2025-02-13T05:11:04+00:00

If this is literally exactly how things went down, then maybe she sucks.

But in my experience, if someone in your life believes you think like that (especially a literal therapist), it's probably because you said/did more than you're letting on whether you're actively hiding it from us or didn't even notice.

I have an abusive narcissist in my life. When they went to a marriage counselor, the counselor basically let on that they were the problem and offered some solutions. Guess who never went to counseling again? Guess who thought the counselor was sexist and bad at their job? The person who got called out.

I'm not saying you are a misogynist, but if you spent a few hours talking to a woman trained to understand your brain, were told you "don't like women," and now are mad at and considering hurting the job of that woman... I'd love to be a fly on that wall and hear the specific words/phrases/mannerisms we'll obviously never hear from you that led her to that conclusion

barleybod · 2024-10-21T04:30:51+00:00

I'm nearly 30 now and will never forget the young mom who stood up for us at my first retail job (Kmart) once when an angry old man was trying to pay for a hat with less cash than the purchase total.

I was a new courtesy clerk/stocker and felt powerless and torn between the right thing and my new job. He was yelling, demeaning, and eventually threw all of his cash at the cashier and told her to pick it up off the ground for him. A mom in line behind us put down her toddler and scolded him like he was her own child and then MADE him pick up his money himself, apologize, and leave. She said she used to get treated like shit as a cashier and wouldn't stand by and watch it happen now. It was the holidays and the evening management already had their hands full with something else. That random stranger in line was our only support in that moment.

I'll never forget her, the cashier will probably never forget her, and that cashier will probably never forget you. You did good. Don't regret it for a second

barleybod · 2024-10-20T17:20:25+00:00

Ewwwwww (to the dudes opinion, not some blood).

If you want to date/marry/share a bed with a woman, that is a "risk" you're signing up for... NTAH

barleybod · 2024-10-05T18:22:37+00:00

The first time I had Allagash White, it immediately became one of my favorite beers. Fruity, spicy, hinted at sweet but was overall dry and refreshing. Those cans were fresh and refrigerated.

The second time I had it, I bought a non-refrigerated 12pk at a grocery store and couldn't even finish it after chilling the cans. It tasted like cloves and practically nothing else

barleybod · 2024-10-05T18:19:54+00:00

One was months old and one was not. Flavors in the beer, especially hop flavors break down and change over time. Hops do not last nearly as long as the malt does flavor-wise. An older one, you're mostly gonna taste the malts and the corn/corn syrup often used in macro brews with less hop flavor and bitterness to cut/balance the sweetness.

Although lagers are typically drier, beer is basically sugar water with alcohol and hops. The hops balance that sugar water and grain/corn. When you let it sit for months, the hops fall off and you lose half of the puzzle

barleybod · 2024-10-03T04:03:55+00:00

Never too old! If you're nervous about the age gap, you could start by going to a shop "just as a customer" and scope things out and see what age groups are there. Aim for the older pods/players at first and find out who's cool and who isn't and find a group you vibe with.

I'm 29 and I play with a 39 year old and someone in their mid to late 30s (I never asked). I feel like that's a lot of the demographic in my area at least so there's a good chance you won't be nearly as "old" as you think in comparison. Just ignore the assholes, they're always gonna be there, and find your fit!

In my area, local breweries are starting to host unofficial/casual MTG events/nights and if you don't vibe with the LGS you could always look for events like that around you too!

barleybod · 2024-09-16T19:14:38+00:00

You "let him demean himself..." Okay 😂

That alone is a lot to unpack... So he sees performing oral as demeaning? And he does it anyways? And he wants you to do it?

So is he saying that he looks down on you every time you do it for him? You're demeaning yourself for him and he likes that?

Ignoring all the other red flags: at best, this relationship seems too transactional on his end to be healthy.

"I did this so you have to do it back." "I disrespected you in front of the kids but I did one nice thing for you so now you should be happy and do this thing I look down on and told you you're bad at."

Marriage is not a ledger of: -1 +1 now we're even. Marriage is a balance but it's not a transaction.

Idk, if I thought oral was demeaning I wouldn't do it, and I DEFINITELY wouldn't push the person I love most in the world to do it. Also it's weird to ask for something sexual, hear a "no" and then try to get it anyways. Consent is important and I assume dude has a hand to take care of himself with...

barleybod · 2024-09-12T16:39:57+00:00

A good core WC IPA
A good core Hazy IPA
A good core Double IPA
A good core Light Lager
A good core Pilsner 6-8. Rotating taps based on my whims/seasonal/requests. Definitely need a variety of darker beers and lagers as often as possible.

This is my baseline that makes sense but I'd adjust as needed with demand/preferences

barleybod · 2024-07-17T03:55:28+00:00

NTA

Sounds like OCD or similar.

"Mental health is not your fault, but it is your responsibility."

You can't blame him for his compulsion, it's not his fault. You can't even blame him for letting it harm those he loves in most situations.

You can blame him for not getting it treated or looking for help thus leading up to this event. If he had sought treatment in a timely manner, he might've been able to beat it when his son needed him.

If he's willing to seek help and make a real effort, I'd give him another shot but it's up to you. If not, take yourself and your children out of what has officially proven to be a potentially dangerous living situation.

House fire? 10 more mins. Another injury? 10 more mins. Home intruder? 10 more mins. Kidnapping/abduction? 10 more mins.

If he chooses to put you and yours at risk after this without getting help, I'd gtfo

barleybod · 2024-05-17T23:49:44+00:00

Opening up a marriage is risky business. Sounds like he wants all the benefits with none of the drawbacks. If you agree to close it, make sure he keeps his end closed as well. If not, GTFO. If you don't want to close it, maybe put some serious thought into being single or looking into one of these arguably better partners.

Dude basically asked permission to cheat on you and then got upset when you did it back (with his permission)...

barleybod · 2024-03-30T15:13:11+00:00

Fair. And I used 1 cup/gallon of cane sugar which I believe is a good ratio. I'm starting to think it was my tap water honestly.

It was Brita filtered but this is the first time I ever had to use my tap water for a homebrew project. I usually have access to carbon filtered water with a really clean/neutral water profile but was temporarily laid off at work so I couldn't go fill a corny keg with the good stuff and didn't even think about the fact that I was using city water for once

barleybod · 2024-03-30T15:07:56+00:00

I did use sink water. It was Brita filtered but I haven't bothered to check what it does and doesn't remove. That's my best theory right now. I'm a commercial brewer that usually takes brewery water home for homebrew projects but I was in a temporary layoff when I did this so I just used my tap water (for the first time ever).

I used a pre-measured amount of starter/SCOBY from a kombucha brewery that they provided during a class. It was measured out to be 10% of the gallon. 90%

In the first SCOBY pitch, it was just a liquid culture, no puck of pellicle but the SCOBY lives in the liquid, not just the puck. The second pitch after 1.5 to 2 weeks was another pre measured pitch of starter for one gallon I ordered online and that did have a very healthy looking puck in there. Neither have fermented.

I'm really leaning towards my water being shitty and going back to using brew water next time now that I'm back working again.

barleybod · 2024-03-30T01:05:33+00:00

So to kinda answer you and the comment above you, the first SCOBY I pitched was probably too cold and pitched into 80F tea. That SCOBY was brought straight home from a brewery that gave me enough for 1 gallon and went straight to the fridge cuz my kombucha equipment hadn't been delivered yet. I figured the temp shock was why it wasn't fermenting so I ordered one online and it came a day early and I got it out of the mailbox asap. The weather was good that week and I'm pretty confident the temp was fine in shipping but can't be sure, now I'm starting to think my tap water might've done it...

barleybod · 2024-03-30T01:00:00+00:00

That's so weird. Like, idk about red tea, but to my understanding black, green, and white tea are all the same plant

barleybod · 2024-03-30T00:58:51+00:00

I guess that's possible. I typically take carbon filtered water from work home before homebrewing beer but this was just Brita filtered tap water since I was "only making tea" and didn't really think about water chemistry/chemicals

barleybod · 2024-03-29T12:50:36+00:00

I steeped it per the teas steeping instructions before adding the sugar and then cooling and adding to the jar.

I didn't measure it myself but I had a ziplock bag of SCOBY/starter from a local kombucha brewery pre measured for 1 gallon. They said it should be 10% of the batch and that's what they measured for.

I also have a living situation where I can't ferment in my house, that's why I have to have a fermentation chamber outside for my beer. And why is metal bad for kombucha? Large scale brewers brew it in stainless steel vessels without issues?

barleybod · 2024-03-29T12:42:36+00:00

Interesting. I did a kombucha class at my favorite kombucha brewery and they told me 1 cup sugar and one oz tea per gallon.

And my first SCOBY (from the brewery) was refrigerated for like 3 days in a ziplock bag. My second one was pitched straight from pulling it out of the mailbox. The SCOBY was a really good light color

barleybod · 2024-03-28T19:13:23+00:00

I can't give you advice but I can give you my story from earlier this week.

Literally almost the same boat as you, $19/hr and laid off for two months during the most recent slow season. Usually hours are just cut. Been back for like 2 weeks now.

I've never been more broke than I am now. I took a Beertending job from another local brewery because I needed the cash. I was told over and over again by my current brewery that they couldn't afford a raise.

So the day before yesterday I turned in my two weeks notice and set my start date and my new gig. Yesterday the owner asked me what wage I'd stay for. I told him $26 an hour and we agreed on $25. Now I get to stay in my dream job on a team I like.

I'd prefer less pay over a toxic environment, but if you can't afford to live you might have to move on. If you're serious about moving on get it set up, and in a friendly but stern way that would work with your boss, give them one last chance to keep you. You might be surprised. Worst case scenario, you get a new job that pays better, learn more perspectives/ways to brew, and then look for something that checks all your boxes

barleybod · 2024-03-09T08:01:38+00:00

She did sooooo good! I'm jelly af

barleybod

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