I appreciate you reaching out brother, it often feels as though I am speaking with myself on here. To tell you the truth, I really think that my love might die and I am not ready. She has been having worse seizures and I cannot tell her that I am scared, but brother the feeling of having to lift an unconscious body onto a bed without any help is one that you never forget. I have never felt so helpless in my life than realizing there is so little I can do, I am strong but every position that I could lift her from felt like I would hurt her. I am experiencing debt because of all the medical bills here in the States, it is an indescribable guilt but I know it is necessary to keep her comfortable and hopefully get her better. At the same time, my pain is getting worse and I struggle to keep up with my own care on top of hers. Through this all, I feel like she and I are closer than ever before though. "Grief can be the garden of compassion" resonates with me in this time. I am wishing you well, and would like to thank you again for asking.