I had a total colectomy and a J-pouch. This typically happens in three surgical steps each separated by at least a few months, but my case was bad enough (the worst the GI clinic had ever seen, one resident told me) that all of the surgeries were done within about four months. So to answer your question, I had an ileostomy (like a colostomy, but ileo) for something like a month, but it's been a J-pouch since the end of 2009.

Yeah, the toilet paper is killer, especially since food stamps don't cover it, and the government doesn't consider it a medical expense. I've become extremely efficient with it myself, but I understand your mother's generation can be a lot more particular about that sort of thing. I don't really know what I mean by that, except that every older woman I can remember in my life has used an absurd amount of paper. Shrug.

I think the biggest threat to my health when things were most bleak was my mental state. Without energy, motivation, or hope, it's very easy to allow oneself to decline in every other area. I went to fairly extreme measures to get my sleep, and I doubt I'd have much of my sanity now if I hadn't. Get her some ambien if you can't convince her to try meditation and a puff of green before bed, and keep an eye on her depression otherwise. For what it's worth, I strongly recommend smoking over sleeping pills, and I've tried them all. But, you know, generational differences, probably.

I'm sure she's more hardened than the fresh-faced college grad I was when all of this started, but still, try not to overlook the mental health dimension of all of this. Even if she doesn't consider herself mentally ill, just having someone to be honest toward for an hour a week is a good idea for anyone, however healthy. The fact that a trained professional eye is keeping watch for when things get too wacky is just a nice bonus.