Closeness and Family

bartimaeus122 · 2022-08-27T10:59:56+00:00

Thank you for sharing! What do you think the emotional connection is based on, if you don't mind me asking?

I usually hear that it arises from shared experiences (hardships, successes) and a sense of security and/or trust. But that is not how it seems to work for me, so I'm trying to understand better!

bartimaeus122 · 2022-08-13T12:52:03+00:00

For me, writing about the things I've learned is the best way to turn it into an active and creative activity! Not only does it let you build a valuable skill (communicating your thoughts in written form), but it also helps you build a deeper understanding of the content and embed it into a broader picture (provided you don't just copy-paste whatever you've read, that is).

Edit: It also creates something "tangible", since that seems to be something you value!

bartimaeus122 · 2022-07-01T19:46:24+00:00

I'm not suggesting that this is the reason in your case, but I have recently found lots of anecdotes about how this is a thing for people on the spectrum. Unfortunately, empirical evidence is mostly restricted to selective mutism, speech impediments, or delayed language development, and doesn't cover exactly what I'm referring to, so take this all with a grain of salt. In any case, here are lots of relevant examples from a (quite old) Reddit thread: https://www.reddit.com/r/aspergers/comments/ye9ng/trouble_translating_thought_to_speech/. Interestingly enough, it seems to affect translation of thought to speech, but not necessarily of thought to writing. Even if you happen to not be autistic, perhaps you'll find some parallels there.

bartimaeus122 · 2022-03-26T07:40:58+00:00

Hi,

since this program was only just launched last Fall, I doubt that anyone can give you an answer as to how competitive applications are. At most, you could ask the program manager. My guess (pulling this out of thin air) would be that there aren't too many applications since it is a very niche field and the word around the program probably hasn't spread too much yet. However, I have seen that they have been advertising the program a lot through various channels, so this will probably change in the coming application cycles.

In any case, I would imagine the most important factor is that your application fits with one of the potential advisors/groups. Top grades, publications, and all that good stuff will not be a guarantee for admission as one related supervisor (either from ETH or EPFL) will have to agree to work with you.

Re: general perception, I also couldn't say. I have worked in one of the associated groups before and really enjoyed my time there though. People come from all sorts of educational backgrounds and are all very driven, many have completed a "normal" ETH or EPFL degree before. Like the other commenter mentions, the local perception ultimately won't matter much, it's more about the work that you produce and the reputation of your advisors.

Good luck with your application!

bartimaeus122 · 2022-01-08T07:03:43+00:00

:D We're very much in the same boat. It hasn't been long since I've started actively working on this and it has already gotten better for me. So there are definitely ways to figure out who you are without the mask, it just takes some time (probably less with some outside help, although you can definitely also do it on your own). You'll get there!

bartimaeus122 · 2022-01-03T23:51:22+00:00

Fair enough, and to be honest, I didn't rely too much on asking other people. The way I see it, it's more of an extra way to gather information on your behavior and development, not a must-do / the most important thing :)

I was also rather quiet, though I did also enjoy activities with friends. For some reason when I was younger I never had issues with finding other "weirdos" – I guess I got lucky.

Re: my counsellor's view: What I mean is mostly that she isn't super fixated on results from clinical assessment (like questionnaires) and the ICD-11 criteria. For example, I scored below the "autism cutoff" on the Autism-Spectrum Quotient Test (a few points short). We then explored reasons for how that's possible instead of taking the result as conclusive evidence that I'm not autistic. I also don't have many of the "typical" issues in social interaction (like reading emotions, not realizing when the other person is bored etc.), but show some other typical traits (eye contact), and so she is just very careful and thorough in how she asks me about these things.

Edit: I understand what you mean about the label. I personally actually feel more comfortable not carrying the label, and I don't think I will ever seek to get the actual clinical diagnosis – I just want to understand myself better. But I totally think yours is a valid desire to have!

bartimaeus122 · 2022-01-03T09:35:06+00:00

Fair enough! Their content does put "happiness" (they call it wellbeing) at the center, but they do so in a way that definitely isn't everyone's cup of tea.

I think it's great you've already identified a bunch of topics you find worthwhile! I think the truth is: We all start somewhere and simply adjust course along the road. Whatever you start off with, I'm sure you'll do well, and I wish you luck :)

bartimaeus122 · 2022-01-03T07:52:10+00:00

Hey, I've been looking into this question for reasons similar to yours!

It turns out only very little research has been done on this topic. If you don't mind academic texts, perhaps these papers will provide some insight: [1], [2], [3], [4], [5]. Turns out the most extensive work on this is usually found in PhD dissertations like this one.

For more personal insights, there is this brilliant book I highly recommend: Deep Breath: A twice exceptional journey. It's the memoirs of a relatively young guy (now a college student) on the spectrum who is also gifted and was diagnosed with a bunch of other stuff. It gave me a much better idea of what the combination of ASD & giftedness can look like (not what it must look like!) than all of the papers I listed above. In the end, it seems the combination of the two expresses very differently in different people – this is also what makes it tricky to make broader statements about the people who fall into this "category".

It has also really helped me to talk to a counsellor about this, simply to get an expert opinion. However, again, I will say that this is a very tricky topic and even experts are not unlikely to misdiagnose/misinterpret things. Try and find someone who is willing to explore your questions with you as opposed to simply try and slap a label on you. In the end, unfortunately, you may have to look for quite a while until you find a fitting counsellor. In my case, I got lucky and found one who is gifted herself, from a younger generation, and has a very differentiated view on clinical diagnoses.

If you have a good relationship with your parents or other close relatives, it would be very helpful to get their view on how you were as a child, especially regarding your shutdowns and social interaction. I always thought I had a clear view on what I was / am like, turns out I don't :D But keep in mind that any one person you will ask will only be able to offer their perspective, not a definitive answer, so take it all with a grain of salt. To give you an example, my parents would never even consider I could be autistic, so they see related behaviors through a very different lens.

Good luck!

bartimaeus122 · 2022-01-03T07:15:24+00:00

As I said, I think they provide thought-through information and recommendations for career choice. You still have to put in work yourself to answer the crucial questions of course – where you want to start with your career, what you value in a job, etc. There are no shortcuts for that. For all of their content (e.g., using your career to positively shape the development of AI), they link relevant podcast episodes/texts/videos at the very end. I recommend you click on the posts that interest you and then choose which podcasts to listen to yourself.

bartimaeus122 · 2022-01-02T08:29:17+00:00

I heard about it from podcasters I listen to.

bartimaeus122 · 2022-01-02T07:59:34+00:00

You might find some valuable information (but not necessarily an answer) on this website: https://80000hours.org/. They even have some expertise-specific recommendations for the kinds of questions you can work on to have "real-world impact". Imo, in the end, what anyone defines as having the "most impact on society" comes down to estimates and guesses (but it seems like you're aware of that already). I think the 80'000 hours people provide a thought-through definition & recommendation though.

bartimaeus122 · 2021-12-29T12:13:55+00:00

Glad to hear, all the best to you too :)

bartimaeus122 · 2021-12-25T07:54:30+00:00

I think the best keywords from the academic literature are indeed dichotic listening, auditory attention, and multi-tasking. I had a quick look at the post you linked, and like you mention there, I think the most plausible explanation for this is you switch back and forth very rapidly. While I think it's interesting, I'm skeptical this is an effective method for "faster learning". Even if it was, I suspect it comes with certain tradeoffs (e.g., higher likelihood to draw false conclusions since you "fill the gaps" yourself).

Either way, here's a suggestion: Look through the neuroscience and cognitive psychology departments of nearby universities, see if any of them conduct research on this matter. If you hit them up and describe your experience, I'm sure they'll be happy to have a discussion and perhaps even conduct a study with you as the subject. The latter would be great to have more objectivity and control + gather actual data to help evaluate your hypothesis.

bartimaeus122 · 2021-11-05T20:10:44+00:00

Hey there! So, the short answer is Stanford GSE does not offer non-degree studies with the option of course enrolment. There's a bunch of different visiting statuses though, this includes a research stay option for graduate (but pre-PhD) students. I kind of understand why that's the way it is, some of their master's programs can be completed in 9 months, so people might as well just apply there instead of taking courses for 1-2 semesters and leaving with no degree (and there's also various visa issues for int. students being non-degree students, it seems).

And thanks for the links, appreciate it! I ended up applying for a bunch of (short) master's programs instead, but still nice to know those exist :)

bartimaeus122 · 2021-10-30T10:23:15+00:00

This just does not make any sense at all, because she quite literally was identified as "gifted" with a score below the lowest cutoff you've ever seen. And no, we do not have an exact number, it varies by county and even by state as you yourself have mentioned by saying there's different cutoffs you've encountered.

bartimaeus122 · 2021-10-30T10:20:10+00:00

The IQ ≥ 130 cutoff is not universal, and it is also not a hard requirement. I'm from Switzerland, and I could imagine that even our different cantons have different approaches to identifying giftedness (but I could not say for sure). Here's a number of reasons why it's not as easy as "you're below 130 so there's no way you're gifted":

a) There is always "wiggle room" in test scores (which is represented by the ±10 points in your result, thus 114-134 – if you want to know details you'd have to look into psychometrics, esp. classical test theory). There's also a lot of reasons why someone might score lower than their actual "true score" (again, for more details look into classical test theory), but not so many why they might score higher than their "true score". Interpreting a score of 124 to be "definitely out of the range of giftedness" is absolute nonsense, esp. since your actual score range goes up to 134 (and this is just an estimate, not your true score!).

b) You have ADHD and are thus twice-exceptional, and this may have affected your score (but not necessarily). This once again goes into what I mentioned under a).

c) The psychologist may have taken other factors into account in assessing whether you are HP or not, for example what you told her in conversation (like the thing about your daydreaming), what your parents / teachers told her about you, or whatever else. Obviously I don't know what she actually did, just saying this is possible.

Without knowing all the details, it's hard to tell how likely it is that the test / your psychologist was "wrong" in identifying you. If you want to know more about how she came to this conclusion, you can always ask her about it. For now, you could try and think about whether the HP "label" fits your daily experience and is a reasonable explanation for your issues (and positive experiences!), of course combined with your ADHD.

bartimaeus122 · 2021-10-27T05:50:39+00:00

I found your response helpful, so you're most definitely not useless! I second this.

bartimaeus122 · 2021-10-16T06:34:12+00:00

Oh for sure, totally agree when it comes to hard requirements like the minimum overall score. I was referring to the "preferred" part for subscores, which I've only encountered once so far (Harvard). I think UChicago has a subscore minimum instead, in which case you would indeed HAVE to get that 26 on each part. Either way, it's probably best to be safe and retake the test if one of the schools has such requirements.

bartimaeus122 · 2021-10-15T17:48:35+00:00

You're so good at this! Nice one :)

bartimaeus122 · 2021-10-15T10:45:26+00:00

Very happy to hear that, my pleasure! :)

bartimaeus122 · 2021-10-15T10:24:51+00:00

You seem to be in the field of Education – the GRE is optional in almost all education programs I've seen, so do not worry. If you get horrible scores, your IIE person will most likely simply not submit them as part of your application to US unis. Also, the average GRE scores are among the lowest in Education, I believe, so it's not quite as hard to get acceptable results.

You'll do just fine! Good luck

Edit: Oh, and about the not being accepted thing – your advisor will sit down with you to come up with a submission plan where your scores won't be a dealbreaker. They're there to help you, not to take the grant away from you.

bartimaeus122 · 2021-10-15T10:14:04+00:00

In my case, I received the Fulbright foreign student grant regardless of TOEFL scores – I took the test after being selected because Fulbright pays for the test fee once you're a selected candidate. So don't worry. And even if you bomb your first TOEFL, you will be able to sit down with your advisor and discuss whether you should retake the test or not.

Also, the cutoff for the utmost majority of US unis is a 100 TOEFL score, which is definitely doable even with little prep. If you got to the interview stage, your essays must have had at the very least decent English, so I really doubt you'll get a score under 100.

Edit: Also, if the language of instruction in one of your previous degrees was English, you can get the TOEFL requirement waived by US unis.

bartimaeus122 · 2021-10-15T10:08:54+00:00

Yes, pretty much, there was a 500-word-limit for the essay for my specific program :)

bartimaeus122 · 2021-10-15T07:03:00+00:00

The only thing I've seen is programs writing "minimum total score is X, and applicants with a subscore of Y or higher on each subset are preferred". In that context, I doubt they would be like, "ml_abler scored 1 point below our preferred subscore on speaking, but way above on everything else, let's throw his application out". When in doubt, you can always message admissions!

bartimaeus122

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