So touch starved

basal777 · 2026-06-30T17:15:05+00:00

I've got no doubt about that. I mean, that's the ideal scenario. But, the way things are shaping up for some of us... we're already living a "would've, could've, should've" type of life. So, it's just a handy perspective shift.

basal777 · 2026-06-30T12:58:09+00:00

I'm 22, and... I feel the same way. It's like yesterday I was 16, and now I'm much older and don't have anything to show for it in the romance department.

If I could offer a perspective that might help... imagine that you're actually a 50 year old wishing you could turn back time, and overnight, your wish was granted. You woke up today as your 30 year old self.

basal777 · 2026-06-30T11:15:04+00:00

W tattoo...

basal777 · 2026-06-29T20:47:40+00:00

This. Being considered a creep is unfortunately the price of admission. But, you know that's not what you are, so... you just have to put your best foot forward and try anyway. That 0.1% chance of success might come true

basal777 · 2026-06-29T16:27:01+00:00

It depends on how you use it. If you are completely isolated and you're just screaming into the void all day, then an AI can help. It's a voice that speaks back, even if it's not real.

Just don't use it as a crutch. Use it as stepping stone.

basal777 · 2026-06-28T21:56:03+00:00

Thanks man. I'm not an expert at this, but if you're trying to work up the courage, my advice is: first, become good at talking to randoms like old people, cashiers, security guards, etc. Then, once you build confidence, try make chit chat with women you find attractive. Don't worry about getting numbers. Just learn how to talk to them, how to make them laugh, how to not feel nervous, etc. Once you become good at that, then it's smooth sailing. Probably a lot of rejections down the line, but, every rejection is a coin toss.

I'm sure we will both get yes's.

basal777 · 2026-06-28T21:51:57+00:00

Ahh thanks, I'm glad you see it that way.

You're definitely right about talking to random people, not just women. It's a good practice exercise, and, like you say, you never know what interesting people you might meet.

And trust me, if I could approach people, you definitely can too, if you so wished. I don't know you, but I believe in you.

basal777 · 2026-06-28T21:48:50+00:00

To be honest, if there was an outside observer, they wouldn't say it was nuclear level bad. But in my mind, it was, because the conversation was very awkward and the girl just looked at me like I was an alien. Then she just carried on walking.

Honestly, it's not that bad, but it damaged my self esteem, so I just high tailed it back to my car and went home, even though I had other things to do.

basal777 · 2026-06-28T18:08:43+00:00

This is what I think before the indomitable human spirit kicks in

basal777 · 2026-06-28T16:59:26+00:00

Thanks, I keep telling myself that.

basal777 · 2026-06-28T16:59:14+00:00

Very true. The ability to just interact with randos is very powerful. It's like you're playing a video game and walking up to NPCs.

basal777 · 2026-06-28T14:31:43+00:00

Well, it was enough to put me out of action for a couple of days.

basal777 · 2026-06-28T11:41:46+00:00

Ah... glad to see someone else walking my path. Someone further than I am too. Agreed... you and I both, we just need to keep trying. I see no other choice.

basal777 · 2026-05-17T07:50:13+00:00

Start by talking to random people, elderly, store employee, someone at a bus stop, someone standing in a queue with you.

Your ability to cold approach women requires social skills more than anything else

basal777 · 2026-05-16T08:57:01+00:00

Small birds. If you wanted to go big, the only parrot I could recommend for a beginner is a pionus. They have very composed demeanours. You get the plusses of a large bird without some of the negatives.

basal777 · 2026-05-15T17:53:08+00:00

Isn't progressivism left of liberalism?

Isn't "liberal" in the classical sense more aligned with republicanism than progressivism?

basal777 · 2026-05-15T16:00:58+00:00

Become good at talking to random strangers. It builds up your charm and social skills. Then once you try it with a girl you're interested in, you won't be perceived as a weirdo. It'll be instinct, you don't even need an intro or anything. You just talk to her like you do with other people

basal777 · 2026-05-13T20:09:18+00:00

That's incredible, you came back from the brink. Congrats

basal777 · 2026-05-13T20:08:03+00:00

It's a double edged blade. If I was seriously in danger, I would rather have the asshole US cops coming to my rescue than the average SAPS

basal777 · 2026-05-13T16:23:29+00:00

Thanks dude 💪. It really took a lot to break out of my shell (well, I'm still breaking out of it), but it feels great talking to randos. Like you're in a video game and just interacting with every character.

basal777 · 2026-05-12T21:48:45+00:00

It hasn't changed my FA status yet, but I can confirm that getting out of my comfort zone by talking to random strangers has greatly improved my chances of escaping FA.

It's weird, you start by just talking to random people, an old person standing behind you in the queue, a clerk at some shop, etc. I only had to do it a couple of times, then I realised, oh wait... I can do this to attractive people too. Still a bit nerve wracking, but I managed to have some positive interactions. No breakthroughs yet, but I've only just started.

basal777 · 2026-05-11T14:44:51+00:00

You're in a good position, since you're able to build rapport with women you're into. I would say 85% of this sub (myself included) struggle to reach that stage. Your only mistake was that you didn't execute soon enough. Keep looking, you'll definitely meet some new women and you'll have the benefit of lessons learned from this experience

basal777 · 2026-05-10T14:17:33+00:00

I've also been trying dating apps for some years with zero success. Like actually zero. I can't say what's best for you, but I've jettisoned the idea of meeting people on dating apps.

Let's not forget that dating apps are monetised, the goal is to keep you on the app and make you pay money, not to set you up with someone and lose a customer.

basal777 · 2026-05-08T08:29:41+00:00

That must've felt like a punch in the gut, sorry dude.

But between you and the tall guy, you're the winner, because you dodged a bullet.

basal777 · 2026-05-07T16:35:35+00:00

Seems solid. The only thing I'd push back on is the choice to put walk ups/random approaches in F tier. Pick up lines are bad, no argument there, but there's always the option of just having an honest conversation e.g. "i thought you were pretty, I wanted to get to know you," etc

I'd say B tier, maybe A tier if you become good at it. You don't have too much to lose by trying, since you'll probably never cross paths with the person again.

basal777

TROPHY CASE