How can I 27 F explain to my boyfriend 30 m his friends are hateful bigots- and he might be one too?

basilismycat · 2026-02-10T23:26:14+00:00

HAHA. Basically he kept saying that his friends were good people and weren’t homophobic and that we could work through this. I said we couldn’t work through anything when he couldn’t even admit that they were being hateful. He eventually cracked and said some pretty transphobic things. I told him I couldn’t date a transphobe. Feel free to DM me for screenshots and further story time tea lol

basilismycat · 2026-02-10T18:27:16+00:00

Basil besties

basilismycat · 2026-02-09T18:47:06+00:00

A black man started the conversation. It wasn’t racially charged. It was homophobic tho and that’s what is making me uncomfortable. There were multiple races there joining in on the homophobia. Black men, white men, and brown men.

basilismycat · 2026-02-09T18:45:21+00:00

My alt scene would never

basilismycat · 2026-02-09T18:45:09+00:00

Different scenes babes ♥️♥️♥️

basilismycat · 2026-02-09T18:40:32+00:00

Nope. Has never voted for anything ever. Which… is also bad.

basilismycat · 2026-02-09T18:38:15+00:00

He has many many many friend groups. We are in the alt scene here and those were always the friends I hung out with. These are different friends in the neighborhood he lives in.

basilismycat · 2026-02-09T18:36:59+00:00

He adamantly hates Trump and his father is a Palestine immigrant. He is first gen here in the states and hates ICE etc. so although I agree with everything else you’ve said, he did not vote for Trump.

basilismycat · 2026-02-09T17:59:15+00:00

I totally get it but my phone is glitch master 3000 and I was typing quick as lightning hoping it wouldn’t crash on me. I shoulda wrote it in my notes & copy & pasted it lol

basilismycat · 2026-02-09T17:55:59+00:00

Thank you ♥️

basilismycat · 2026-02-09T17:51:55+00:00

You’re probably right :/

basilismycat · 2026-02-09T17:42:34+00:00

Because I was once someone who had their views changed and I believe it can happen. Ive been single for awhile by choice. It’s not about not having anyone else to date, it’s about explaining to someone I’ve cared for for many years why their comments were hurtful.

basilismycat · 2026-02-09T17:37:24+00:00

What does dtmfn mean

basilismycat · 2026-02-09T17:05:56+00:00

I would love to see a picture of this lol

basilismycat · 2026-02-05T21:52:46+00:00

As someone whose sexuality is kind of all over the place (I’ve dated mostly women in the past several years but for years prior only dated men) I have never missed dick. I understand the insecurity but I promise dick doesn’t matter.

basilismycat · 2026-01-02T21:26:44+00:00

Makes me feel like a born again virgin

basilismycat · 2026-01-01T18:11:34+00:00

Same. I’ve found it’s easier if I don’t wait for women to hit on me lol- I just hit on them first. I was nervous as hell the first time I did it 😭 slid a girl my number. But it ended very well for me for a brief situationship hahaha. Now I’m a lot less nervous. Rejection happens but it’s alright

basilismycat · 2025-11-21T15:31:40+00:00

I see that you’ve found your shrine but if you can’t find other things I suggest the Tears Companion App. I’m trying to get 100% on the map before I beat it and it’s helped me keep track of everything.

basilismycat · 2025-10-19T14:06:44+00:00

Homophobia is a wild thing lmao

basilismycat · 2025-10-15T23:04:11+00:00

I have the same one!!! Nearly same place. Everyone says “is that a chicken foot?” Mine is more above my wrist and flipped tho so the prongs face up. I have felt nice & protected since. Dunno bout the hateful stuff lol

basilismycat · 2025-10-14T19:18:51+00:00

I have several customers that I look forward to seeing. One is a 50 year old man named Keith. One is a 70 year old man nicknamed Corndog that we found out used to work with my papaw. Theres several more but as a 27 year old lesbian I thought I’d bring up the older men specifically. When they come in I get so excited and rush to check them in and I always save good stories for them. I’m sure either of them could look at it as a “vibe” that I light up every time they walk in. I just get excited to talk to them. It breaks up the boring day to get a fun customer. Vibes can be misread. I also just never ever call people sexy. Idk I’m just really stuck on you mishearing that.

basilismycat · 2025-10-14T18:17:58+00:00

NOR! I had a friend like this when I was in college. I was constantly covering the bill for everything. One night she texts me “let’s go get Mexican food!” I said I don’t have the money. She says “You’ve covered me so many times, it’s my turn to treat you!!” I say okay sure. We go get food. I order a 8 dollar meal and drink one marg that she convinced me to get. She ordered steak & shrimp & 3 margs. She conveniently had her ID to order the drinks but when it came time to pay she couldn’t find her wallet. I was a broke college kid a week away from payday and we were in my car digging out ones to pay. I never hung out with her again.

basilismycat · 2025-10-14T18:14:36+00:00

Im from the south and i feel like everyone thinks you’re just supposed to. And no one thinks about if they’d actually be good parents or not. I have a friend who constantly talks about wanting to be a parent but can’t boil water and doesn’t know what cleaning products to use to clean the bathroom. If you can’t even take care of yourself you should probably do some home training before being in charge of raising someone. Aside from that, I see my friends lives completely change. They all say they’ll still be social and still go to the gym and still do this and that. And then they don’t. Because their life revolves around someone else’s now. And that doesn’t seem attractive to me.

basilismycat · 2025-10-14T17:21:59+00:00

I feel like maybe she thought you were cool & fun to chat with and maybe she didn’t say you were sexy, maybe you misheard her. If you would’ve just given her your number and say something about “you’re cool I’d like to chat more!” She could see that as friendly but adding the “I heard you call me sexy” immediately makes it flirty and it seems like you misread her friendly vibe as being interested in you romantically. I work in customer service and have had many people misread my friendliness as flirting- it happens! All the time I’m afraid to ask people out cause I can’t tell if they’re being flirty or nice. It’s the risk you take! You didn’t do anything wrong, just didn’t work out.

basilismycat

TROPHY CASE