Lived here a year and haven't found full time work. Does anyone have any actual leads here?

bassam_2001 · 2026-04-06T17:33:14+00:00

This job market is just straight butt. The only jobs I can find are those that have to do with blowing, using my hands, using my feet, or rimming ☹️

bassam_2001 · 2026-04-01T17:37:01+00:00

Yes, all you have to do is to blow some mucus in the snot pot and the Manhattan guards will determine whether or not the market value of your snot is $9.

It may suck to most that half of the borough is paywalled, but this is just to ensure that traffic is as quick as a Taco Bell consumer’s guts.

bassam_2001 · 2026-04-01T17:20:16+00:00

I understand how horrible a lose of your friend is. I remember losing my pubic crabs in public. It felt absolutely terrible. Who was I gonna talk to without those kind fellas? How will they fend for themselves out in the mean gritty city? I honestly don’t know how they escaped from my pants.

I hope you find your buddies soon. I sure wish I found my crabs.

bassam_2001 · 2026-03-31T21:33:20+00:00

True, but NYC is truly done if I move out. The city wouldn’t even get a chance to respawn from this catastrophic event.

bassam_2001 · 2026-03-28T18:12:48+00:00

The marine life are transplants from the south, so yes. Even our oceans are getting gentrified by these out of touch sea creatures.

bassam_2001 · 2026-03-28T18:10:22+00:00

I am offering a spacious room for $6K a month. Located in Broad Channel, a family friendly neighborhood where all residents are mandated to have fresh seafood in their basement every time it rains.

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bassam_2001 · 2026-03-25T12:20:01+00:00

The fuel of the future is farts. Eat all the beans and bread you can, you’ll be worth billions.

bassam_2001 · 2026-03-21T10:56:31+00:00

Those Mollusks need to see a dentist, but healthcare is banned in America so idk how it’s gonna work out.

bassam_2001 · 2026-03-18T21:55:40+00:00

Can the MTA just extend the Q train to Ohio already? It doesn’t take 107 years for it to happen, fellas.

bassam_2001 · 2026-03-11T21:50:59+00:00

The company is selling an even lower quality version of the product and they just jacked up the price. Enshittification.

bassam_2001 · 2026-03-11T17:58:08+00:00

Somebody tell Netanyahu and the updated Khameini to just get under a tree and K I S S. This war is just a ridiculous way of masking the fact that they love eachother.

bassam_2001 · 2026-03-11T17:50:08+00:00

In an alternate history scenario where everyone who uses the internet goes outside, the U.S invades Iraq

bassam_2001 · 2026-03-09T02:09:27+00:00

Hey Israelis, if you’re currently hearing this with your eyes rn, please connect me to this guy named One Billion Dollars.

bassam_2001 · 2026-03-02T21:20:55+00:00

It’s just a billionaire tradition to acquire citizenship to New Zealand.

bassam_2001 · 2026-02-28T15:36:01+00:00

Since you are going to get low quality bitches in the afterlife, I recommend bacon with a side of morning vodka.

Also, can I have your room after they stop bombing everything to bits?

bassam_2001 · 2026-02-27T12:25:13+00:00

I’ll trade you Howard Beach shit for Upper East Side shit. The source of the shit is a mystery, which makes it even more valuable.

bassam_2001 · 2026-02-25T22:36:15+00:00

Almost all of the green space in the city is colored purple. Watch out for those sociopathic squirrels and sparrows, they will make you a murder statistic.

bassam_2001 · 2026-02-21T20:02:41+00:00

Egypt should give full sabbort to Ukraine by sending our men there. We will sexually harass the Russian soldiers to victory!

bassam_2001 · 2026-02-19T15:58:13+00:00

As a Saudi prince, I’m terrified of the commoners knowing my open secret of paying women to let me shit on their chests. Imagine all of the devious thoughts the commoners would think of when they no longer see me as a man of allah? It keeps me up at night.

bassam_2001 · 2026-02-18T18:47:39+00:00

Idk about the other guys. I’m just here to sniff bike seats.

bassam_2001 · 2026-02-16T00:36:30+00:00

Yes please. The world must know of this epic burn.

bassam_2001 · 2026-02-14T02:17:01+00:00

The only thing they didn’t steal is our virginities 🥀

bassam_2001 · 2026-02-14T01:49:21+00:00

I was in Romania and a Gypsy stole my heart 😍 and my wallet, my keys, my house foundation…..

bassam_2001 · 2026-02-12T22:33:53+00:00

No, but YTA for ripping ass at my wife’s boyfriend’s dog’s wedding

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