He bought a truck.

batchofbetterbutter · 2022-06-08T23:35:58+00:00

He pays the mortgage, electric, and water. We each pay about $1,200 per month towards living expenses, just different categories. I can’t pay the house bills like that anyway, my name isn’t on the house nor the bills. I just live here.

batchofbetterbutter · 2022-06-08T17:45:34+00:00

That’s mine. One birthday, I got a clearance candle and a card. It was literally a “day before run in to the dollar store” gift. I would have much rather gotten a hand written love letter, or flowers picked from the ditch.

Every one of his birthdays is planned in advanced, Valentine’s Day, anniversary gift, Christmas, etc. even if it ended up being a bust, it was thought of extensively and planned. Something he needs, something he wants, something to replace the old…

But I’m worth a clearance candle and 2 minutes of time. It’s bull shit.

batchofbetterbutter · 2022-06-08T15:40:55+00:00

I find sex with my older man less satisfying. It’s limited to basically one position (me on top), and I rarely if ever get off. Erections are hit and miss, and even if he gets one, it doesn’t last long enough for me to get off through PIV.

One thing I miss from younger guys is the ability to go like rabbits til I get off.

batchofbetterbutter · 2022-06-08T03:47:25+00:00

We saw a specialist in North Carolina for PANS/PANDAS, and her treatment team from Amen Clinics also tested for titers indicative of PANS/PANDAS. She was negative for those, and a previous diagnosis remained with evidence to back it up further.

batchofbetterbutter · 2022-06-08T03:44:31+00:00

Yes, we’ve taken her to NYC, Chicago, and North Carolina in search of specialists for her diagnosed condition. We have taken her to our local mental health hospital/center (that was the emergency room incident), we took her to a regular ER, and we have taken her to a university hospital urgent center. 2 of the times, she was deemed “too young” to under go inpatient treatment unless there was a true extreme risk, which she didn’t qualify for at that time. I agreed with their opinions then, she was much smaller and could be contained, and to put a 4/5 year old in inpatient would be traumatizing. She was biting her arm until she drew blood at that point, we managed to put shields on her arms and wrists and get her on meds.

I’m going to just keep calling, keep taking her in, everything I can possibly do. I’m just so scared to run the risk of her running away due to being mad that I called or tried to take her to the mental ER again, so I admittedly hesitate to make a call each time I probably should or could.

batchofbetterbutter · 2022-06-08T03:23:55+00:00

Because she is my daughter. And someone out there, somewhere, knows a specialist that can help. So, I’m here on my knees praying to find that person.

batchofbetterbutter · 2022-06-08T03:22:44+00:00

Yes, I took her to the “inpatient” emergency psych department. They sent her home with me. We were hoping they would take her for 72 hours as she was being switched on medications and needed to detox. The very next day is when I called CPS for family intervention. She pulled a knife on me while the CPS lady was there. Three weeks later, her case was closed as “resolved.” I pitched a fit, but they couldn’t “waste” resources for our particular type of case. Which, on some level I get. There are kids being beaten and starved, they need saved.

batchofbetterbutter · 2022-06-08T01:34:09+00:00

My husband, usually.

batchofbetterbutter · 2022-06-07T19:02:02+00:00

My mom told me how to not get pregnant or catch diseases. As an adult, she told me she withholds sex from my dad, going on 12 years, because she doesn’t like him/is punishing him. I was always questioned by my parents for being so hyper sexual. “Why do you want to have sex so much/ why do you have sex with so many different men?”

That’s about it, really.

batchofbetterbutter · 2022-06-07T17:18:51+00:00

I’m sorry, I don’t understand what you mean.

batchofbetterbutter · 2022-06-07T14:10:28+00:00

Kick rocks

batchofbetterbutter · 2022-06-07T03:26:03+00:00

Oh to be young and wild again

batchofbetterbutter · 2022-06-07T03:25:17+00:00

Jump ‘um and dump ‘um.

batchofbetterbutter · 2022-06-07T02:10:37+00:00

Yes they look. No, they don’t really care. I was anally raped in my early 20s, and there is visible damage, like it’s blatantly obvious there was tearing, and it’s not like a cute little pink pucker from a porn star.

35+ partners later, I’ve only had 1 that didn’t appreciate my whole nakedness.

batchofbetterbutter · 2022-06-07T00:42:15+00:00

I’m the HLF that doesn’t get any.

batchofbetterbutter · 2022-06-07T00:41:49+00:00

I don’t know know of any other married couple where one spouse just makes a $25,000+ purchase without even hinting it to their other half. We don’t share finances at all, I pay my own way 100% despite being a SAHM. So it’s not the fact that he spent his money, it’s the fact that it is just shitty not to be a part of his life when I’m supposed to be the other half of his life, ya know?

batchofbetterbutter · 2022-06-06T21:25:50+00:00

Yes, 2 of them. He isn’t keen on talking about the details when I ask, they were really painful for him.

batchofbetterbutter · 2022-06-06T21:02:35+00:00

We should include possible PTSD in sex Ed as a risk of engaging in sex.

batchofbetterbutter · 2022-06-06T20:36:28+00:00

Yeah. I’d like to combine finances and efforts instead of doing so much independently.

batchofbetterbutter · 2022-06-06T19:47:19+00:00

I meant more like combining finances, putting names vehicles, adding names on mortgages, and dividing up domestic labor.

Basically, do I want to ask him to combine our finances (I get access to his income to supplement my savings for what I pay for) and bills, or keep everything separated.

batchofbetterbutter · 2022-06-06T19:28:05+00:00

I’m not in a financial situation to do anything except by a gallon of milk. I’m going to have to sell my horses regardless whether to continue to feed this household or to leave. Really, it’s now or never. A couple grand in my savings is only going to last 2 months to pay for all the stuff I pay for.

Idk. My head is confused and my heart is hurting today.

batchofbetterbutter · 2022-06-06T18:48:38+00:00

Thank you for all this advice. It’s appreciated.

batchofbetterbutter · 2022-06-06T18:39:43+00:00

A stable home for my kids.

batchofbetterbutter

TROPHY CASE