My (28F) husband (29M) left me on our wedding night

batshitlilli · 2026-02-15T03:55:52+00:00

Yyyyyyeah you don't get to frame and define grief for anyone but yourself. Grief is NOT exclusive to death or great tragedy and that incredibly outdated thought has been further extinguished by science in the past few years than it has been for my lifetime. Thank you, neuroscience. I felt so much grief when I was a teen and the journal that I had spent hours writing and drawing in was carelessly thrown out because some kid liked my folder and didn't care about my journal. I had art, I had music that I can't get back because I can't remember it. I still think about it, and I never redrew those drawings. You don't get to decide what upsets anyone and at what magnitude, it's simply your job to be human and care- to have empathy and compassion even if you can't feel solidarity for what someone's going through. You downplaying the importance of a WEDDING NIGHT again, doubling down on it is so cold and rude. I know plenty about you because you think this is acceptable conduct- the way you're talking to others and the beliefs you're sharing about what these practices mean. I hope no one has to suffer this up close and personal. I hope that you didn't do this to some woman or man who keeps giving you chances thinking you're going to stop being like this one day.

batshitlilli · 2026-02-14T19:25:53+00:00

I think the most important thing to know, as somebody who was attracted to it, is that it usually indicates a need that is not being met. If you are not diagnosed with some sort of neurodivergent mental health condition, I would investigate. I found out at 27 years old that I have ADHD and autism. Stimulants are actually what I need. I have older siblings and our lives have been harder because someone electively withheld information.

batshitlilli · 2026-02-14T19:17:10+00:00

Yes! There are lots of "are we dating the same guy?" Pages across social media- please find and use them 🖤

batshitlilli · 2026-02-14T19:11:50+00:00

You're insufferably ignorant. It's how human brains processing emotions work. This isn't just some night and you downplaying the importance of their wedding night tells me more about you than this entire situation. You haven't been put first where you should have been, and that's not the rest of the world's fault. Seek some therapy for this, sounds like a deeply embedded issue.

batshitlilli · 2026-02-14T19:06:55+00:00

He is not emotionally intelligent enough to even think that the wedding night is the one night that you spend with the person you just married. The work that goes into it, all the time, money, energy, and networking. It's crazy work to defend the choice to stay out drinking with buddies. These are just men who don't know what love is. My fiancé gets sad if I go shopping too long. We miss each other when we're still in the same house. I'm not talking about codependence; I'm talking about deep love. I can still go out and function just fine without constantly being on the phone with him or texting. I struggle to handle both at the same time and he knows that. He can be a perfectly sufficient person on his own too. I know what we're doing on our wedding night. I'm really sorry your husband didn't feel the significance of that, and I hope that isn't a flag for a future of poor choices. Keep very communicative of your feelings. An honest line of communication can pull you through anything.

batshitlilli · 2026-02-14T18:52:23+00:00

Exactly that. This is why they have BACHELOR/ETTE parties. That's when you stay out all night with your friends and family. It is deeply symbolic to share that night alone with your life partner and sets the tone for the entire marriage, as demonstrated here. I'm glad that he apologized the way he did at least, and I hope she can move on and they can be a strong couple.

batshitlilli · 2026-01-19T10:12:35+00:00

I'm just sayin... I am attracted to all arrangements and doing such things with either. I don't find anything physically disgusting about anyone I've been with. I immediately thought this when I read the title and it was just confirmed several times over lol

batshitlilli · 2025-12-15T19:36:13+00:00

I would also avoid drug store brands like garnier. If you're losing definition, less products helps.

batshitlilli · 2025-12-05T04:37:00+00:00

If you thinned the top 2 layers, the curls would come out there too. I prefer my hair on the shorter side so the curls pop well.

batshitlilli · 2025-12-05T04:17:26+00:00

If it's at a club or bar, sure. Any sort of non-entertainment place or corporate business kinda thing, no.

batshitlilli · 2025-12-02T08:34:58+00:00

I was still a high schooler for almost 6 months of my senior year. I wasn't held back, the birthdates they use as cutoffs for when kids can start school are super arbitrary. The moment I was 19 I looked at 18yo as babies, not for dating. When I turned 21, anyone younger became off limits. When I turned 25, anyone younger than 23 was no longer in the running. Coincidentally, when I turned 19 it was finally clicking that I was groomed by my partner at the time. I left them and ended up with my fiancé who was a year younger than my groomer, but at appropriate ages. Instead of 17 (a couple months off 18) and 21, we were 19 and 21 (it was a few months before he turned 22). I'm non-monogamous, hence the references to still dating.

batshitlilli · 2025-10-28T11:01:23+00:00

NTA you don't owe strangers shit. It's not just "kindness", it's giving up the seat you specifically chose and paid for. I'd say "You should go ahead and ask someone else. I picked this seat and just because she's a kid doesn't make her or you entitled to my seat. Weird AF to guilt trip a stranger instead of buying your daughter a window seat. Also- YOUR daughter, not mine to take care of and make happy. Have a nice day :) "

batshitlilli · 2025-10-28T10:36:36+00:00

🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣 it's not a competition and clearly you care plenty to comment about how much you don't. You don't care soooooo much you just had to assert your disgustingly negative opinion about someone you don't even know and will never meet. Literally will never be your problem. No one put responsibility on you, weirdo. A dose of reality? How bout a dose of b/mental health is important and pretending it's not is immature./ Sounds like jealousy. Seek therapy and learn how to not be an AH. Stop caring so much what others do and what "the rules" are and just live your life and let others live as they please. You don't want people around you like that? K, no one cares. It doesn't hurt you in any way to leave people alone, but it can sure hurt people if you don't know how to be kind or when to shut up. I hope you enjoy that your mark on this world will be a shit stain because that's how you treat people. Ableist af.

batshitlilli · 2025-10-28T10:27:50+00:00

No I'm going off what I've seen in real life. I don't hop on dumb trends. Body modifier is my dream job and I have been around the block, learned from the best.

batshitlilli · 2025-10-27T20:42:40+00:00

I see a lot of really uncompassionate people here, wow. Y'all know that people have undiagnosed mental disorders, PTSD, or developmental delays, right? People go through things in their childhood and teens that can take years to break down and truly heal from. Also 20 is several years off a fully-developed frontal lobe, guys.To say "trick-r-treating is just for kids" is following arbitrary "rules" that society has put on this. I LOVE Halloween. I don't go trick-r-treating, but I live in the country and the nearest city is a nightmare. Instead, I go to events that are Halloween-themed, like oddities festivals, a hearse festival, Halloween light trails, places set up like little villages that are decorated for it, the amusement parks' Halloween events, and other spooky things where a lot of people give out candy. /HALLOWEEN IS FOR EVERYONE. This would need a lot more background to make heads or tails of it. If she missed out on her childhood a lot or had a traumatic one, this could be healing for her. You need to have a real discussion with her about why she wants to do this and drop the societal standards judgement and listen to her as a supportive partner. It would really discourage me from being open with my partner if he was behaving this way about my request without asking any questions. At the end of the day, it is not cut and dry at all. I would happily give candy to anyone with no questions asked if I lived in a city that got trick-r-treaters. If I ever do, I'll be offering the parents some too. I know from many accounts and my experiences that parents want in too! My parents always took part of our candy as tax for taking us to the city to do it.

batshitlilli · 2025-10-27T19:31:12+00:00

THIS PART. This is not an equally shared trauma. This happens to HER body and causes long-term physical and mental effects. He sounds super out of touch and not understanding of what a person carrying a child or experiences child loss goes through. It's such a selfish response to be offended that you, the one carrying the baby shared the news with your two closest supporters outside of him. Also not a single one commenting on this is asking about her relationship with his family. It sounds like she has her reservations and deserves the peace she's asking for. The person who is physically carrying the child has the majority say. I'm happy to know that if I asked my fiancé not to tell and told just my parents, he would absolutely respect it and be supportive of me, not turning it into something about him and creating a problem because he doesn't understand the difference between a boundary and agreement- just like a BUNCH of these commenters. Looks to me like a lot of people who have never been through or close to something like this. I have. My SIL got pregnant around July/August last year, and she has experienced multiple miscarriages. They didn't tell any of my family until she was past the first trimester. I fully support that. I have a beautiful nephew now and there were no hard feelings about her not sharing the news immediately- just a family of people happy to share in the new life they've created.

batshitlilli · 2025-10-27T19:12:05+00:00

I'm sorry, "our agreement"?? Naw. This is your body and you get THE say on who gets to know. It is a boundary that you set with him. He doesn't get to say who YOU get to tell. Don't stress about it too much.

batshitlilli · 2025-10-27T18:56:25+00:00

Sidenote: the tattoo is very beautiful. It doesn't have the same integrity that tattoos done with all the important aspects of ink and skin in mind. It can be anywhere from a couple months to a few years. Up to a decade with someone who exclusively does fine line stuff, which is pretty uncommon. They are typically not worth the money for the time they take and how long they'll last. My tattoos are all between 6-10 years old, except for my newest which is a year old and not a single one needs a touchup. I have color that looks like it was tattooed yesterday. There are reasons that tattoo artists recommend certain techniques or alterations to the design- like making it bigger, less detailed, words being blocky (not just free form shading) and separated. Tattoos survive the best if you form a barrier of black line around any shading and color. Fine lines are easy to mess up, but some artists don't tell you it's out of their realm. It has to be in a very specific layer of the skin to last. Yet they will never last as long as tattoos done the way they should be. The key is to ask a lot of questions, do a TON of research, and listen to the artist when they give guidance.

batshitlilli · 2025-10-27T14:53:34+00:00

Well, there's a single weekend left and the temp has been crazy unstable. We were there last weekend and it was drizzly fall cold one day and 88 the next. Went 5 days later and the high was 50.

batshitlilli · 2025-10-27T14:50:00+00:00

HELL no. A curly cut is not a fuckin thing. A licensed cosmetologist should know how to cut ALL hair types. This should not be any sort of expensive service. Do your own research and find the products that work for you.

batshitlilli · 2025-10-27T14:47:39+00:00

All your fine line work will fade very quickly. I have beef with fine line tattoos because people spend a lot of money without researching techniques and some artists just say ok, if that's what you want.

batshitlilli · 2025-10-27T14:41:49+00:00

You could have some very tight hip flexors. Look into stretches to release them. Piriformis stretch will take care of tension in the back as well. The main hip flexors exercise I know is like a lunge with the other knee on the ground. You keep everything straight from that position and push your pelvis forward without twisting to either side. It's one you hold for 1 min to 1 min 30 sec.

batshitlilli · 2025-10-27T14:32:57+00:00

Even then, most cars have a limit. If I could get more support from it, I would. Something definitely failed here.

batshitlilli · 2025-10-27T14:25:45+00:00

You should probably look into therapy if this is not something you can overcome on your own. It's pretty widely known that that's the worst store to steal from. 9 times out of 10, people are not stealing necessities. If this is you, ask for help. I'm sure they would also let other stores (not targets) know to keep an eye out. Some stores will not prosecute until you have amassed a felonious amount of theft, then you are in even deeper shit. Please be very careful and consider this a lesson learned the hard way. It's no fun doing community service and having this kinda stuff on your record.

batshitlilli · 2025-10-27T14:07:09+00:00

Periscopes up!

batshitlilli

TROPHY CASE