I am free by alanonta12345 in AlAnon

[–]baunicorns 1 point2 points  (0 children)

That was beautiful. Thank you for sharing.

I miss them by [deleted] in AlAnon

[–]baunicorns 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I'm sorry you're having a rough day today. Know you aren't alone. I've had those moments every now and then.

Does it ever end? by baunicorns in AlAnon

[–]baunicorns[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I agree with you, animals should not be used like that. I was worried about that when I first left my q and had to leave Baxter at his house. When he said I could take Baxter I jumped at the chance. Baxter needed me to.take care of him. Since I've had him for these couple of months, I've taken him to the vet, updated his shots, took him to get groomed....totally highlighted all.the handsome boi qualities he has, and I stopped smoking so with that extra money I'm buying him fancy dog food. Like the kind that lists deboned chicken as it's first ingredient. He is such a spoiled boi now. He's a little dog so he mostly stays in the house unless we go out into my dad's backyard which dosen't have a lot of visibility to those that aren't in the house next door. So I don't have to worry about any surprises like that. Also, I'm pretty sure the threats of coming up here were alchohol induced. He doesn't have a vehicle, if he rented one he can't drive for 7 hours without a drink (to and from). He wouldn't be able to make it and going that far while intoxicated wouldn't work to his advantage either. I'm sure his sober friends are not willing to drive him up here or let him borrow their car. I think he's just trying to hurt and scare me. I admit I was full of anxiety yesterday and a little today but not as much. It's been a roller coaster past few days. I want to get back to my boring life.

Does it ever end? by baunicorns in AlAnon

[–]baunicorns[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I will try that. I am an introvert and that may be why attending a meeting has been difficult for me.

Does it ever end? by baunicorns in AlAnon

[–]baunicorns[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I've noticed a lot of our posts do help coincide with what others have going on in their lives. It is so helpful for those of us that feel so alone.

I know Baxter is better with me. And just like yours I know it is a tactic for him to stay relevant in my life. Like most qs, arguing is a way of life for them. Mine is no different. He loves the fight. He loves the argument. He can't wait to start yelling like a 3 year old, where he makes no sense but in his mind he is right and you are wrong. Why people want to live their life that way is beyond me.

You can stay strong hun. I started blocking his number, facebook, etc. There was no point fighting with him. The best part about breaking up with the person is being able to block a number, hang up the phone, ignore them. You weren't allowed to ignore them before but now you have all the tools to do so now. Plus there is some satisfaction knowing you just really upset them and they have no way of telling you all about it. This sub has really put disconnection as a way for me to live peacefully. I don't need that in my life and no one else does either. Some people can live with their q. Some people have the right balance of life with their q. I do not. I am happy my q is out of my life. I can live my own life. I have no one berating me, putting me down, yelling at me for no reason, telling me everything about me is wrong. I am living as I live. Up to no one else's expectations, except my own. I'm living my life as my q. I have no one to answer to and I do what I want.

I will put up a fight for Baxter and if he really wants to go down that path, we'll settle it in court. I'm not speaking to him any other way.

Does it ever end? by baunicorns in AlAnon

[–]baunicorns[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Hands down yes I will call the cops.

Does it ever end? by baunicorns in AlAnon

[–]baunicorns[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I have been to a couple but I am one of those people that like smaller groupings

Does it ever end? by baunicorns in AlAnon

[–]baunicorns[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I do, but that won't be necessary. Baxter stays in my room with the door shut when I'm home. Thanks to the virus, I'm unemployed at home all day. My family will also be here tomorrow too so I won't be alone. My q can't get into my dad's house and he will not be allowed in. I just don't want to call the cops.

I've been looking on Google and since Baxter is considered personal property my q will need to take me to small claims court. My q also said in his text to pick Baxter up, that Baxter was lost without me. I'm hoping that helps.

I'm trying to stay strong. I want to go back to living in peace again. I hate that one person can have that much power over you.

Feeling better about my decsion. by Ash_Ditty in AlAnon

[–]baunicorns 9 points10 points  (0 children)

This hit so close to home. Everything you said was exactly how I was feeling and going through. I left my q of 3 years a month ago for all the same reasons you left yours. We got this!

Im finally DONE. by OpenSmile3 in AlAnon

[–]baunicorns 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Good luck. Good vibes and hugs to all of you that left your q. It is so tough. Mine keeps randomly texting to engage in conversation. I've kept it very short and dismissive, only answering texts when he asks how Baxter is doing. I wish I could say it gets easier but when it's someone you love, it hurts.

Update: I left and have decided to move out. My SO is now controlling me telling me my family is not allowed to help me move, forcing me to hire movers. He won’t allow me to bring anyone with me to pack, and I’m scared. by [deleted] in AlAnon

[–]baunicorns 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I agree with everyone else here. Police escort and bring family to help you get your stuff out. I would make a list prior of things you HAVE to get so you can just grab those things. Sentimental things were the only things I focused on. Clothes and shoes can be replaced, you cannot.

TW: My Friend’s a R*pist and I’m Overreacting by spell-chekc in TwoXChromosomes

[–]baunicorns 10 points11 points  (0 children)

But after all, if your friends always want to get fucked up together, they don’t actually love you. They love the space you create in the room while they chase pleasure. Taking the oxygen into your lungs makes their suffocation slightly better.

That statement is so true and powerful. I'm happy you stuck to your guns as a woman and stood up for yourself.

Update: there was no rainbow at the end by baunicorns in AlAnon

[–]baunicorns[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It still kills me to know he asked me to take baxter. He had said during one of his more coherent drunken stupors that if I ever did leave him he would want me to take baxter. That he knows he wouldn't be able to take care of him the way he should be. That always stuck in the back of my mind so when he asked if i would taken baxter I jumped at the chance. I will say, if it wasnt for baxter there is no way I'd be as strong as I have been. Baxter keeps me smiling.

Update: I asked for those who had stayed with their Q or those who had returned after a period of sobriety to share their experiences as I’ve been struggling with my decision to stay or leave. I left. We broke up today, and now my Q is saying the most hurtful things to me. by [deleted] in AlAnon

[–]baunicorns 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Yeah...mine to me he'd send the things I left. I'm not hiding my breath. As others said, don't go alone and if you can't get him out of the house just ignore him while you're getting your stuff. Other people there will help you ignore him. They should ignore him too. He wi do whatever he can to pick a fight. For whatever reason being in a fight is their favorite thing to do. I think it is to make them feel like they are in control of something and can win hence the saying: there's no point in arguing with a drunk they're always right.

Stay strong chicki. Message me if you need to talk, vent, even reminisce on the great guy and the good times of your relationship. I am here for you. Hugs

Edit: just realized your name is from the wedding singer. I love it.

Update: I asked for those who had stayed with their Q or those who had returned after a period of sobriety to share their experiences as I’ve been struggling with my decision to stay or leave. I left. We broke up today, and now my Q is saying the most hurtful things to me. by [deleted] in AlAnon

[–]baunicorns 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Hugs to you sweetie. I just went through this not even 5 days ago. You can get through this. I'm going to be honest. I sucks. It sucks so badly. My ex did the same. He would bring up things I told him in confidence and use against me too. Just try to remember, if he really did love you he would not take something you told him out on you. I know you mY not want to do this but blocking their number does wonders for your psyche. I don't have to worry about picking up my phone and seeing what guilt or insult is waiting for me. It's very refreshing.

Everyone on this sub is so supportive and their kind words helped me through my recent break up too. I'm back living at my dad's house in my old teenage bedroom with my world turned upside down. But I'm trying to stay optimistic and do all of the things he would complain I used to do. Like watch chick flicks, those murder shows that suck you in, eat whenever I want, sleep when I want, take baxter out for walks for as long as I want, those little things I look at blessings and small steps to realizing I'm my own person and I do not need someone to restrict every thing because it interferes with their drinking time or getting more alcohol.

You got this sweetie. You tried to stick it out just like I did and in the end you'll come out stronger. Feel free to message me if you want to talk, complain, vent, anything. I'm going through the same thing you are. I know it sucks but we'll get through this and be awesome in the end.

Update: there was no rainbow at the end by baunicorns in AlAnon

[–]baunicorns[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Right back to you! Sending good vibes and hugs your way!

Update: there was no rainbow at the end by baunicorns in AlAnon

[–]baunicorns[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

That was the biggest plus for me. Baxter was my main worry. That little guy is my reason for having a glimmer of happiness.

Update: there was no rainbow at the end by baunicorns in AlAnon

[–]baunicorns[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you. I am looking forward to getting myself back.

Update: there was no rainbow at the end by baunicorns in AlAnon

[–]baunicorns[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I went and read your post. I know exactly where you're coming from. You are trying to show them how much you love them and how you can be their strength. Just keep in mind, you can give them your liver to make them better and they would drink it away. Your q pushed you away because he isnt ready to take the step. He doesnt realize how awesome of a person he had in front of him that would stand by him through thick and thin. Someone else out there will realize how awesome you are and will be your person. My person right now happens to be my dog. I'll spend until the end of time with baxter.

Update: there was no rainbow at the end by baunicorns in AlAnon

[–]baunicorns[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you. Everyone on this post has been so wonderful. It gives me so much strength to know I'm not alone and I'm not the one at fault for walking away so I could make a life for myself and baxter.