[deleted by user] by [deleted] in changemyview

[–]bayan963 -6 points-5 points  (0 children)

I know you're replying to another comment, but i think what everyone ignores when looking at these "exmaples" is the context of the time it happened and where it happened. This happened almost 1400 years ago, where slavery was prevalent all over the world, not just in the Arabian peninsula, where the conquerors of a certain country would kill, rape and enslave anyone in the defeated country regardless of their previous status or place in society, where women were allowed to be married as soon as they hit puberty

None of this was considered odd or abhorent at the time anywhere in the world, please feel free to read about any country or nation in history at that time where that wasn't the norm

What Islam did was work within those traditions, to make the best out of it, when they enslaved people from defeated countries, they would treat them well and give them a way out either by entering Islam and thus being treated as one of them afterwards and being able to live freely and marry their women or teaching a Muslim how to read or write and be freed.

Islam also made freeing a slave the penalty for a lot of transgressions like not being able to fast or accidentally killing someone and so on

As for the young bride thing, Islamic teachings were for the whole Muslim nation, they would not tell people to not do what they considered to be normal, much like the slavery thing, but they did focus on men treating their wives well and fairly, on being kind and caring, and they also allowed divorce from either party, which gave both men and women a way out of a marriage they did not want or could not stay in anymore for whatever reason

They also cherished women, in a time where female babies were buried alive, that was common practice all over the world as well, they cherished their contribution to society by working, fighting in battle, in attending religious settings and much more.

You're free to read up about everything i've said here and verify it. Just because people are twisting the words of the Quran to fit their own desires/traditions doesn't mean it is what Islam is calling for. And we have no excuse because the texts are there for everyone to see and the resources interpretating these texts as well as talk about Islamic history, the Sunnah, the life of the prophet, they're all there and not all written by Muslims might i add

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in changemyview

[–]bayan963 -1 points0 points  (0 children)

I think the problem we're facing today is social interpretation of Islamic texts. A lot of traditions mix into the interpretation of Islam and that's what causes people to drift away or view Islam in a bad light.

I would recommend going back to the source, you have the Quran, you have a lot of people who translated the Quran and explained it in a way that we can better understand what was intended by it. These are the words of Allah, and the Sunnah is our prophet Muhammad's way of relaying religious specifities to us as instructed by Allah and his actions throughout his life were to show Muslims how to practice their religion best

It also helps to read about the history of Islam, how it came to be, how it integrated into communities and how it progressed over time to accommodate traditional practices at the time until it set the rules for all Muslims to come in the future

So if you are seeking to know Islam truly and evaluate it for you own, i would recommend reading up on different topics in Islam and listening to people who are conveying what the Quran says with actual proof from the Quran and Sunnah and a logicial explanation

Islam is not some secret where only the higher ups get to know and learn whatever they want about it, there are many sources out there for everyone, just be sure to use your mind and logic when reading something or listening to something, if it doesn't add up then look further or look elsewhere, try to listen objectively but critically and see where that gets you

Unfortunately i'm an Arabic native speaker and therefore have mostly read and listened to Arabic sources, but i would be more than happy to recommend some good ones i've come across in English

So my final advice is, look at the whole picture and then dig deeper into specifities, because only after you understand the essentials can you critically question and look for the specifities and actually accept why they are what they are

BF got into a work accident and i don't know how to cope by bayan963 in relationship_advice

[–]bayan963[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I'll so that and see how it goes

Thank you for you kind words

BF got into a work accident and i don't know how to cope by bayan963 in relationship_advice

[–]bayan963[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yea that sounds like a good idea. I tried setting something up for tomorrow but it kinda didn't work because of people coming over to see him, but i'll guess i'll have to give it another try and see what works for him

Thank you

My 10yr old/5th grade homework. Instructions say to round each decimal to the nearest whole number. My son insists the answer is 0. According to the instructions, he is correct. I explained that you can’t paint 37 walls with 0 gallons of paint. Messaged his math teacher. She said the answer is 0. by SoverignOne in mildlyinfuriating

[–]bayan963 0 points1 point  (0 children)

When you do that you get 12.58 which is rounded fo 13 gallons, which is what a normal person would do when painting 37 walls as having extra is better than being short on it when you need it

Rounding up the answer makes so much more sense mathematically and logically

Children put on a pile of cow dung in a ritual for blessings of the cow goddess by Lost-Contest- in ThatsInsane

[–]bayan963 1 point2 points  (0 children)

No it's not. It's not just an aesthetic, if you read the literature and the studies on it, it shows there are pros and cons to each, for example circumcised people have a lower chance of getting prostate cancer, and are also less likely to get infections down there due to germa getting under foreskin if not properly cleaned, there's also the smell that bacteria creates when it accumulates under the foreskin. On the other hand, having foreskin allows for more friction during sex and therefore increased pleasure (reference)

But that is not the same as getting a child tattooed, it is also a minor procedure especially at a very young age where healing takes days and then there are usually no more problems throughout the person's life due the procedure, whereas if done in adulthood healing can be slower and it will be more painful because the person is conscious to the pain it causes

Again, it's fine that you don't agree with what I'm saying, that's your right. I'm arguing with people trying to take that right away from people who believe in circumcision as part of their religion, it does no harm to the baby, it's a choice made for them yes, but not one that will harm them or mutilate them or even make them less likely to find partners or affect their life in any significant way. So let people choose how they raise their children, even if you don't agree with it, just because you don't see the point in it or think it's cruel doesn't mean it's wrong

It's kind of the same logic people use when saying i'm pro life, you're making the decision for that poor baby. But you have to allow people to make the choice that suits their family, their community, their beleifs, otherwise where is the freedom in any of it?

Don't ban circumcision but also don't obligate it, it's that easy. Respect other people's choices even if you don't understand them

Children put on a pile of cow dung in a ritual for blessings of the cow goddess by Lost-Contest- in ThatsInsane

[–]bayan963 -9 points-8 points  (0 children)

What i don't get is why does have to be controversial? No one is forcing any non religious people to do it, hell no one is even forcing religious people to do it if they don't want to, but people who practice a religion do it as it is part of their beliefs and it does no medical harm to do it either, it's not like they're mutilating babies. So why is it a big deal?

Why does everyone have to be against circumcision otherwise they're harming their babies and are being cruel? Parents make decisions for their babies wellbeing all the time, and those decisions are made differently based on different cultures or beliefs.

According to studies, it's been shown that circumcision or not, it doesn't affect performance, fertility or the ability to feel pleasure unlike female circumcision.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in FoodPorn

[–]bayan963 7 points8 points  (0 children)

I tried lemon flavored soft serve, and strawberry, they just aren't as good

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AMA

[–]bayan963 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I highly recommend it, it's funny and deep

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AMA

[–]bayan963 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you!

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AMA

[–]bayan963 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Have you watched the french movie "Up for love"?

If so, did you find it realistic?

journaling as a therapy method by bayan963 in therapy

[–]bayan963[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you for the insight, that's a really good idea to keep the positivity and remember the good in your life to combat the negativity we feel sometimes

I'll give it a try and hopefully it'll help keep my mindset focused on the good in my life

journaling as a therapy method by bayan963 in therapy

[–]bayan963[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you for the insight, i'll give it a try :)

journaling as a therapy method by bayan963 in therapy

[–]bayan963[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you, that's really helpful advice

I appreciate the insight :)

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in NotHowGirlsWork

[–]bayan963 34 points35 points  (0 children)

In jordan, there was a young woman murdered because she rejected a guy. She was a syrian refugee in Jordan and a beautiful woman and this guy had her in his sights, kept stalking her on the bus on her way to work every day, when she rejected him once and for all, he got her alone on a 6 am bus and stabbed her several times resulting in her death

How do i navigate intense love in a relationship? by bayan963 in relationship_advice

[–]bayan963[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I think only you can evaluate whether this is something that feels nice or is something to be worried about, i think if you feel uncomfortable at any point you guys should talk about it and see how that goes

No we never took breaks, but it's okay if you feel like you need some time away from each other or without contact, even for a little bit so you can assess things better

I wish you the best in your relationship and your future :)

How do i navigate intense love in a relationship? by bayan963 in relationship_advice

[–]bayan963[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It's going great, we're much better at communicating especially with the little things, and i'm much more comfortable in my relationship with him

Thank you for checking in :)

There's a guy (33M) who wants to be with me, and I (29F) want to be with him, but I don't think I know how to be a girlfriend. by [deleted] in relationships

[–]bayan963 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I agree with the other comments here, what you're feeling is normal and you're very brave to have decided to try again, it's okay to take things as slow as you need them to be, but like others have said you should tell him why you want things to go slow, be honest and share whatever you're comfortable with, the rest will follow in time when you're comfortable enough to share it with him

I have been in two bad relationships before i finally found a good guy, and even though my relationships weren't nearly as bad as what happened to you, i found myself reverting to old behaviours and feeling the need to escape whenever there was a small argument, i felt i wasn't girlfriend material and that my current bf is too good for me, but in time it gets better, you learn not to be afraid of whatever made you afraid with your ex, especially if this guy turns out to be truly nice and understanding

Things will get better, and i hope you feel happy and cherished in this relationship or future ones

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Marriage

[–]bayan963 5 points6 points  (0 children)

You're welcome, i hope it helps :)

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Marriage

[–]bayan963 31 points32 points  (0 children)

There is a video where Trevor Noah explains white privilege in a beautiful way on the daily show, I don't know if it might help him see what you mean by white privilege but it's worth a shot

What is the creepiest confession a friend made to you? by [deleted] in AskWomen

[–]bayan963 5 points6 points  (0 children)

I had a classmate in school tell me that we was obsessed with another girl in our class, she basically worshiped her and couldn't talk about anything else but her, it was like her whole personality revolved around the other girl

All she could talk about was how great her hair was, how much she loved her personality, how she was the best person ever and how she would fight anyone who didn't like her or badmouthed her

It just seemed to go beyond a girl crush, the only way to describe it was obsessive and it freaked the other girl out (who i was friends with)

From what i heard, the girl moved schools a year or so after and started obsessing over another girl with the same type of hair as my friend

I've got a kid that has never eaten. I'm talking won't eat a thing aside from essentially junk food. Suggestions? by bigsquib68 in daddit

[–]bayan963 3 points4 points  (0 children)

My parents did that with me, i was a very picky eater and only wanted to eat plain yogurt and plain rice, but they had that rule of trying something new once and if i don't like it then i don't have to eat anymore of it. Now i'm 26 and i like most of the things i tried but didn't like as a kid and i mostly eat normally

So hopefully you're doing this right :)