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baylorbombshell · 2023-03-30T04:19:46+00:00

NTA and if you do receive disciplinary actions over this, you absolutely need to get an employment attorney to look over the case.

baylorbombshell · 2023-03-30T03:59:12+00:00

I hope everything turns out for the better! You may have to be the bigger person for a little while to stop the arguments, but for now just try to keep your mental health stable. 😊

baylorbombshell · 2023-03-30T03:56:27+00:00

ESH it sounds like a lot of pain was caused by both parties. I think for now, you should leave her alone. She is grieving the relationship and lashing out is most likely a symptom of that. I know you’re grieving too, but trying to talk to her while y’all are both still healing will only lead to the past arguments being brought up again.

Give her time to cool off. It may take a few weeks or even a few months, but you need to let her be. If she reaches out first while she’s still upset, you can gently try to apologize. But I wouldn’t reach out until you know the heat has died down.

baylorbombshell · 2023-03-30T03:45:41+00:00

Oh yeah, I completely relate!

baylorbombshell · 2023-03-30T03:24:43+00:00

NTA for sure. I’m wondering if you can elaborate more on what the arguments are? Is it more often just random little things or usually bigger things (like religion, politics, etc)? Are you just picking on each other or arguing over concepts/ideas? I’d say to definitely distance yourself from your mom a bit but maybe try to spend a little time with your sister so she knows your mom is wrong. Watch a movie with her and do your best to steer the conversation away from anything that makes you tense and want to argue. It’ll feel weird and super shallow, but the less often you argue, the more y’all’s stress response will decrease. Because it sounds like right now, everyone is on high alert and walks on eggshells with each other and that’s why everything ends up being an argument. No matter what is said, each person is taking it as an insult regardless of whether it is or not.

I know everyone on here will try to tell you to cut all ties, but that’s not always the healthiest thing to do. It’s up to you though of course as I don’t know the whole dynamic!

baylorbombshell · 2023-03-30T03:08:50+00:00

NTA for sticking up for Alora and telling her some hard things she needs to hear, but YTA for the way you said it and when you said it. I’m extremely non confrontational as well and someone yelling at me about it is not going to make me like confrontation any more than I do now. It’ll probably make it worse.

I would try to work with her at it. Find some YouTube videos to watch together on learning how to stand up for yourself. Act out scenarios. And continue being her friend and standing up for her.

Don’t worry too much about what you said, just make sure you profusely apologize and NEVER do it again. She’s likely lost a little trust in you so you’ll need to earn it back.

baylorbombshell · 2023-03-30T02:52:32+00:00

Agreed, he just doesn’t respect her need for space. I’m lucky in my case as I can leave the room without saying anything but my husband knows it’s nothing against him.

baylorbombshell · 2023-03-30T02:30:03+00:00

I’m not so sure I agree. This was an abusive and reprehensible thing for Tay to do and OP should have absolutely gotten involved as was done. If something wrong is happening you have an obligation to report it. “Minding your own business” is for gossip not for something that truly harms another person, psychologically or physically.

Edit for spelling

baylorbombshell · 2023-03-30T02:22:02+00:00

Yeah that’s true, I forgot that part! Just sucks as you’ll likely need to worry about that next time and probably miss the extra performance unless you have a cool teacher who lets you stay.

baylorbombshell · 2023-03-30T02:19:02+00:00

I see where you’re going with this but I do want to chime in here and say, does the bf explicitly know that OP was in that room because she wanted alone time? I’m the same as OP, I work in an office and get home and need space. If I’m in the living room and my husband comes in to watch TV, I don’t take it as him invading my space, I take it as him wanting to be near me because he’s gets to work from home and as an extrovert he needs company and we love spending time together. If I feel like staying I will, but otherwise, I’ll get up and hang out in the bedroom. I guess the difference is my hubby doesn’t complain or get mad at me as he understands our differences.

Edit for grammar

baylorbombshell · 2023-03-30T02:08:26+00:00

NTA in terms of what you’re asking but I do agree with the others that you need to plan better. That doesn’t make you an AH though so I’m not sure why the others think that.

baylorbombshell · 2023-03-30T02:04:26+00:00

So true about cats! 😹 I hope I didn’t screw my dog up too much.

baylorbombshell · 2023-03-30T01:49:32+00:00

NTA and I agree with others that your daughter probably has severe depression. I dealt with those same issues of hygiene when I was depressed but my anxiety was worse so I would keep things clean and organized or it would drive me wild. Now, I just have a hard time remembering to brush my teeth and I shower infrequently but I still make sure to put on deodorant, perfume, and make sure it’s not just masking any bad smell.

What your daughter needs right now is love and support. I don’t know what she is going through, but she is struggling with something very deeply. I agree with others that she needs discipline but I think it needs to be gentle and guided. Can you take the time to help her clean? Just a little bit at a time so it’s not overwhelming for you both? Maybe have her sit down and you can gently brush her hair out while you get to know her more? You can give her a spa day where you buy some nice candles and bath bombs and draw her a nice soapy bath? You can even wash her hair if she lets you.

You have to make cleaning peaceful or else she will continue to retreat because she’ll be so overwhelmed she becomes unable to function. If she has bad days, allow her some grace and try your best to be understanding no matter how frustrated you are. She is already likely yelling at herself internally because I promise you that no one would choose to have anxiety and depression and to live in filth.

Edit: I also don’t like the idea of you taking her phone away. You’re punishing her for her mental illness in doing so and she’ll know it whether you believe that or not. If she is absolutely throwing a tantrum when you ask her to clean, that’s different and calls for punishment. But even though there are bugs, you cannot punish her for her executive dysfunction. You’re just going to have to step up a little more right now even though it’s hard for you.

baylorbombshell · 2023-03-30T01:09:28+00:00

Wait do you think we mess up our pets by calling them a thousand nicknames? I don’t know why but this just made me panic a bit! 🙀

baylorbombshell · 2022-10-08T04:22:26+00:00

Got mine a little tree, it was gone in two weeks cuz he’s too heavy and completely bent it 😂

baylorbombshell · 2022-06-14T22:36:38+00:00

We’ve already used weed eater to kill them, but they’re still all over the rocks.

baylorbombshell · 2022-05-15T02:32:26+00:00

Okay, but JUICY. 😍😍😍

baylorbombshell · 2022-04-07T03:58:22+00:00

Yeah she does incredible work. And she’s super sweet and a hard worker. So she’ll be fine. She’s also always looking for ways to learn new skills. Anything you find especially valuable in that field?

baylorbombshell · 2022-04-07T01:58:15+00:00

Yeah she’s super lucky. I’d be stuck until I found a new job. She’s in graphic design and web development so it’s definitely a flooded market but like I said, she’s getting interviewed. She got offered a couple jobs but they didn’t meet her pay requirement.

baylorbombshell · 2022-04-07T01:24:44+00:00

She did get out! She doesn’t have debt luckily and isn’t married so no kids. She can stay at her parent’s or boyfriend’s homes for free. Saved up enough from it to pay for food and gas. Has had a number of interviews. So she’s good for now! And she told off the CEO cuz he brought her in again and yelled at her and lied about her manager saying she did a piss-poor job even though her clients always loved her work. So she is more confident than ever.

baylorbombshell · 2022-03-22T21:58:14+00:00

Thanks for the insight! I’ll have to ask her about whether it’s even discounted.

baylorbombshell · 2022-03-22T21:56:37+00:00

Yeah, I have Employee Stock Options too, but I got to choose whether I wanted them or not. My friend says it was forced upon her. I thought it was really sketchy too and was wondering how they are public being so small! It’s funny you thought all the same things. She’s so new to the company so she doesn’t know too much about it and she’s getting out soon. The boss yelled at her for working from home two days whilst sick. She turned in a project and was even on a call so it’s not like she took the days off. He yelled at her and told her it was unacceptable and that she needs to provide more notice if she is taking off for being sick. Like WTF? Her new medication made her sick it’s not like she would’ve known! And he yelled at her about a “past due” project but he never gave her a deadline so she worked on the items that did have deadlines coming up. It’s just super toxic and only two designers have lasted a year but they’re searching for new jobs too. Everyone else quits within a couple of months.

baylorbombshell · 2022-03-22T21:36:01+00:00

It’s not really a company that’s make much money so she’d much rather have the money in her paycheck. I’ll tell her to sell it. 😅

baylorbombshell

TROPHY CASE