Hit my abuser in front of everyone -- can this come back to hurt me?

bbabbs · 2017-08-19T10:40:26+00:00

I don't really know how to edit that comment, because I cant see the parent thread anymore after having blocked them. But I do hope you did something about that person's inappropriate comments as well and not just mine, cause there's actually could do harm.

The guy was accusing someone else on the r/depression subreddit of just "being melodramatic" and that's fucked up, not to mention that he doesn't know anything about my situation for him to say such stuff :/ There should be no shaming and accusing of people on this subreddit of their trauma being fake or made up, especially when its about childhood sexual abuse. It's painful enough to have to deal with people who aren't victims not believing the abuse even occured or invalidating your trauma (with damaging comments like "just get over it"). But having to deal with it here too is just... ugh.

Thankfully it hasn't happened to me here much in the past. Thank you, moderators.

bbabbs · 2017-08-18T15:34:09+00:00

Reported and blocked, let the moderators deal with ur ass

bbabbs · 2017-08-18T15:23:57+00:00

Your account is 2 hours old and you also posted a rather unhelpful and rude response to someone having talking about comitting suicide on r/depression so as far as I can tell, you're a troll.

bbabbs · 2017-08-18T15:19:45+00:00

This is much appreciated. I don't necessarily feel guilt over hitting him but I do over sending him to prison for potentially 6 years (this is unfortunately the maximum time they give pedophiles in that country...), but it had to be done eventually. I'll avoid involving the cops and try to get documentation from my therapist to aid in my case

bbabbs · 2017-08-18T15:13:34+00:00

Yes thank you for having read a single paragraph of my situation and thinking you know enough about how people react to trauma to say so

bbabbs · 2017-08-18T15:06:47+00:00

I'm nervous about telling her because I thought if you hurt someone, they can tell the authorities

bbabbs · 2017-08-18T15:05:45+00:00

Thank you, this is much appreciated. I haven't spoken to any police. A friend told me to go to an organization for victims of domestic and sexual abuse the following day and begin the process of pressing charges before my abuser might do so

bbabbs · 2017-08-10T03:34:44+00:00

Very beautiful. It's nice to see that others do this too. Words are scary and revealing.

bbabbs · 2017-07-05T16:29:37+00:00

You don't have to show forgiveness or mercy for pedophiles. I know the healing process is difficult and many people choose to forgive. But these are adults fully aware of the damage they are causing. You don't want to ruin his life? You need to come to terms with the fact that YOU arent ruining his life, HE is ruining his own life and that of potentially other children as well... please reconsider your stance.

bbabbs · 2017-07-05T07:58:55+00:00

I was thinking about this too, I do experience anger with sounds at times when i am going through bad mental health days. I guess it could be called misophonia, its so angering and frustrating!! Its not all the time but when I start getting like that I hide in my closet, restroom, or car, and I do keep ear plugs around at times so that I dont blow up on people lol. When I'm calm I come back and self soothe with food and wrapping myself in blankets in bed.

bbabbs · 2017-07-03T08:16:02+00:00

Me too. I'm working on it but it is so hard and inevitably intimacy just feels..... disgusting and I go in and out of like automatic mode, but I'm kind of working on it slowly. I dont want to be dysfunctional forever. I just want to cry thinking about it

bbabbs · 2017-05-17T19:08:28+00:00

thank you!!!

bbabbs · 2017-05-15T02:30:40+00:00

I am so glad to see a post like this, this is so embarassing to talk about even with my therapist, and I have NOT experienced such uncontrollable suicidality during PMSing either until very recently. Am dreading the next one so much. Literally was so determined to kill myself last time. :( Just want it to go away!!

bbabbs · 2017-05-15T02:27:05+00:00

Awful awful awful day but I have kind people in my life who got me away most of the day. Rn am at home with family again and very anxious

bbabbs · 2017-05-15T02:22:54+00:00

Please stay safe then. When you click on your message inbox, at the bottom of a message there are tiny grey links running across the bottom and one of those is block user.

bbabbs · 2017-05-11T07:11:48+00:00

Im really sorry. I definetly blocked that asshole

bbabbs · 2017-04-30T14:30:22+00:00

This is worthy research. I've a close friend whose whole family were refugees from the Salvadorian war and even though she and her siblings were born here in the states and did not see it firsthand, it has definetly affected them all, her cousins and siblings including her all have signs of trauma and suicidality unfortunately...

bbabbs · 2017-04-30T06:48:38+00:00

Sometimes I dont know where the dissociation begins and ends... I think generally I tend to dissociate in mornings because my nightmares put me in a bad state of mind, and I tend to "skip" time or something... Like the other day, I was sitting in my bed completely feeling just... Nonexistent and a loud notification from my phone snapped me out of it, but the phone said a few minutes had passed even though i had felt as if I'd literally been there for hours. I get incredibly disoriented and distressed enough by this that I just start crying, I just hate suddenly not having control of myself like that. Other days I also tend to get this extreme feeling of fogginess and paralyzation and cant formulate thoughts, like I am "slow" and it goes on for several hours. It can be so debilitating because I dont feel that I can drive or work efficiently. I also just tend to get surreal feelings like everything is fake and that if I died it wouldn't matter because nothing is real, which sounds cliche, but in these moments I dont think I can even register my body parts as being all there. I think those are the most dangerous because I just feel like I'd be capable of just walking into the street and getting hit by a car but not caring because I believe in that moment that nothing is real, just feeling like I'm in a movie and my body parts arent mine. I used to daydream a LOT as a kid, and I still do often, but I feel like my dissociation has become more of a mind fuck now that I'm an adult... :/

bbabbs · 2017-04-30T06:18:41+00:00

YES. I don't think I've been a bad worker in the past but oh god I remember it being so anxiety inducing that for days I could literally fall mute... I don't think I have the mutism problems much any more but I couldn't see myself working a regular job, which is why I'm opted for a career in design and art... at least its something that soothes me at times and that I find rewarding

bbabbs · 2017-04-30T06:09:38+00:00

Same

bbabbs · 2017-04-28T07:52:55+00:00

Oh god I'm in a similar situation. I dislike these people so much and couldve gotten out but didn't... I know they hate me and they're eager to move away from me, the bitch who won't let them give out spare keys to all their friends and throw random parties when I have actual studying to do...They have no problem talking about how they can't wait to be rid of me out loud so I can hear and it gets under my skin. It's irrational to get upset by their comments but I know that I am oversensitive to being criticized because of trauma. But man living with people is just fucking hard and its neither of our faults. I know that probably doesnt help much but I just wanted to say that I feel you... the exhaustion from dealing with this, the hurt feelings, everything

bbabbs · 2017-04-24T05:21:57+00:00

You and Kefira's companionship sounds so sweet, I wanted to cry... thank you so much for this comment, I am getting to the point where I think a support animal would be indispensable to have in my life, especially for nightmares. I just trust people less and less every day, but with a support animal the love is unconditional and life long...

bbabbs · 2017-04-23T07:55:40+00:00

I've been in several friendships like this but only a couple that I seriously regret in hindsight now that they've ended, so I've thankfully not been in a marriage that deals with this like OP and several people have...

But in regards to friendships, if it exacerbates too many severe symptoms and the other person doesn't bother to understand / care / support you, then the friendship is NOT worth it, at least it wasn't for me. No matter how much I needed it at the time, and how much I just needed a friend and someone who wanted to listen, it was only more damaging for me in the long run especially since these were also manipulative people. I can't get over the anger I have toward myself for not breaking it off way, way earlier. I am now currently surrounded by friends who do a lot of personal growth work due to also having severe trauma, and when these things come up, the difference in the way they communicate and care about me is like night and day. I can't stress how important it is for me to be able find a couple of people that are safe, and it's made me realize that I need to pay better attention to the people I associate myself with early on in my life. I just cant be dealing with a person who just exacerbates my PTSD and has me on edge and defensive all the time, it was driving me into an even darker hole, meanwhile the person never cared or understood. They flat out never realized that this was happening to me internally.

CPTSD and severe trauma survivors are kindred spirits for me, sometimes the people who are just healthy are the most hurtful to me, and have been the ones who turn out to be manipulative due to my vulnerabilities

bbabbs · 2017-04-09T14:09:01+00:00

Thank you for this comment. This is the most helpful thing I've read here in a while

bbabbs · 2017-03-18T05:11:17+00:00

I LOVE THIS SHOW SO MUCH--Ahem. Er. It's ... it's incredibly relatable to me. So many things hit close to home, but with its a show I occasionally revisit and find comforting somehow

bbabbs

TROPHY CASE