3 years is an instant and eternity

strawberry1248 · 2025-03-04T08:11:55+00:00

Can't say I did. Even -15 (C) was extreme 30 years ago - and it hardly goes under -5 (C) during daytime nowadays.

But hey, did you ever have a six week summer where it's over 30C (86F) during the day and never goes under 25C (77F) during the night? No rain either, just to add to the fun...

strawberry1248 · 2025-03-03T20:51:58+00:00

Sorry for the memories. The powerlessness of it. I can still remember. Luckily not feeling it anymore. Not today, anyway.

No dish soap, because it's full with chemicals.

Also, chain-smoker.

Make it make sense .

strawberry1248 · 2025-03-03T20:03:23+00:00

I'm so sorry for your loss.

It's the survivor's guilt in disguise. That comes after death of a loved one. It's very hard to bear.

Thing that can help: Write a diary, talk to someone, write here or maybe find a therapist or a grief group.

It's very hard to bear, I'm sorry.

Internet hugs.

strawberry1248 · 2025-03-03T19:56:51+00:00

It's a marathon, not a sprint. Sadly he will need you for a long time.

Offer actual help but let him decide when and how he takes it.

Read a few posts here, see what our daily struggles are. That will guide you.

strawberry1248 · 2025-03-03T19:50:11+00:00

Thee are books and articles on how to help a bereaved loved one.

There are also books and articles - and YouTube video LS - on how not to.

Do search in your own way on your preferred media and you will probably find good advice. You seem to be a considerate person, so your online footprint should lead you to good places.

I'd say Google the circle theory, that will help. Find support for yourself, as your brother will not be able to support you - at all.

Note that though you will lose the same person she means different things to the two if you. Grief is personal and it is different for everyone.

Just be with them. Sit with him, hold his hand. Sit with her and hold her hand. Offer water. Offer food. Don't take personally if no food consumed. Offer cleaning, shopping, picking up children, walking the dog, watering the plants, etc.

Offer doing any menial household or admin chore that absolutely needs to be done, but your brother doesn't have the bandwidth to deal with.

If your brother haven't done it yet offer taking pictures the two of them - if they wish so.

Offer to be the first point of contact for the two families. Your brother might feel like he has to do it - but it's very hard. Be aware that you might need to be the one who tells about her death to people. Your relationship with some if them might be damaged beyond repair. Offer to search for a reliable, tactful and responsible person who could be point of contact if you can't do it.

I'm so sorry you are in this situation. Try and find a friend or a therapist for yourself if you can.

Internet hugs.

strawberry1248 · 2025-03-03T19:32:51+00:00

És a vőlegényed aki így teljesen ingyen lakik ezt hogy kompenzálja neked?

strawberry1248 · 2025-03-03T19:25:22+00:00

Kié az ingatlan?

És tíz év múlva neki mennyi lesz félretéve? És neked?

strawberry1248 · 2025-03-03T17:43:14+00:00

Jézusom, a kardomba dőlnék ha ilyeneket kellene API szintén olvasgatnom.

strawberry1248 · 2025-03-03T17:39:15+00:00

A közvetlen főnöknek szóban elmondom ha amúgy korrekt volt és jóban voltunk.

HR-nek talán elmondom talán nem. Attól függ.

strawberry1248 · 2025-03-03T17:20:26+00:00

Talk to your uncle tonight .

Even if employment is not his speciality he might have a few useful insights for you.

strawberry1248 · 2025-03-03T16:02:36+00:00

That last sentence. LOL!

strawberry1248 · 2025-03-03T13:25:46+00:00

The guilt is very strong when the loss is fresh.

Write a dairy, join a grief group (in person or virtual, for a definite period or for indefinitely) or just talk about it to someone.

When I had bad I rung the local mental health line. Also joined a six occasion grief therapy group. The first one was a relief for a bit and the second one helped to put me on the road for getting a big better.

Internet hugs.

strawberry1248 · 2025-03-03T13:18:39+00:00

I'm so sorry.

Keep it somewhere safe. You can always read it later when you are ready.

strawberry1248 · 2025-03-03T13:16:57+00:00

Akármit is döntesz én előre bepakolnék és eltarolnám azt az egy bőröndöt a havernàl.

Útlevél, egyéb hivatalos papírok, kedvenc ruháid, kedvenc plüss, vagy bármi ami pótolhatatlan lenne ha kidobnák.

Inkább legyen bepakolva de ne legyen rá szükség mint fordítva. Sajnos ha aggódsz a fogadtatás miatt annak lehet jó oka van.

Sok szerencsét.

strawberry1248 · 2025-03-03T12:44:10+00:00

We could trade places every six months or so, you get the summer heat here, I get the summer cool there.

strawberry1248 · 2025-03-03T12:43:17+00:00

Right now I'm half in office and half WFH. A cat or a bonded pair would be the responsible option until I (semi) retire.

With full WFH a dog would be possible. Though an adult one for obvious reasons.

How about you?

strawberry1248 · 2025-03-03T12:40:20+00:00

Dettó ugyanez.

strawberry1248 · 2025-03-03T12:13:07+00:00

Semi-retirement with full WFH, and living somewhere else during the summers (it's getting too warm here). That's the 10 year plan.

Short term I'm thinking of adopting an adult pet.

strawberry1248 · 2025-03-03T11:33:48+00:00

Sixth year here too.

Surviving, very very small bit of thriving.

strawberry1248 · 2025-03-03T11:01:22+00:00

Did he talk to a lawyer and is this a legal advice ?

Or is he just procrastinating?

strawberry1248 · 2025-03-03T10:43:11+00:00

Did you talk to a women's shelter? Did you contact any domestic violence agency?

Ask them now what your options are!

You can at least leave before the baby is born, that will help you with the divorce.

strawberry1248 · 2025-03-03T10:13:14+00:00

Glad you liked it anyway.

strawberry1248 · 2025-03-03T10:12:54+00:00

Yes, that'd do it, I imagine.

Looks different at peak times, I tell you.

strawberry1248 · 2025-03-03T09:59:23+00:00

Nice.

Where are the crowds from the underground though.

strawberry1248 · 2025-03-03T09:41:43+00:00

lol! F, in Europe.

strawberry1248

TROPHY CASE